11 sinais de que a sua família não quer saber de si e como lidar com isso

Do you think you have some toxic family members who simply don’t care about you and your needs?

Here are some signs that your family doesn’t care about you, which will help you figure out whether you’re living in a dysfunctional, toxic environment or not.

Crescer no seio de uma família simpática, saudável e funcional afecta positivamente a nossa saúde mental e a nossa autoestima.

Ajuda-nos a tornarmo-nos pessoas melhores e também a estabelecermos alguns objectivos bons e realistas para o futuro.

Por outro lado, crescer numa disfuncional e ter uma relação tóxica com membros da sua família afectará negativamente o seu bem-estar mental e emocional, bem como o seu futuro.

Toxic family relationships will leave some scars on your mental health; scars that you’ll never be able to get rid of.

You’ll be left with fear about the future and your own family… the perfect family you have always dreamed you’d have one day.

The fact is that family relationships shape our lives. They play a major role in what kind of people we’ll become one day.

However, unfortunately, we aren’t all blessed with a caring, happy and healthy family that is always there for us no matter what.

11 Enormous signs your family doesn’t care about you

Of course, if you’re a teenager, this doesn’t apply to you because most teenagers think that their family doesn’t love them and wants to make their life miserable, but that’s just a phase.

Now, you’re probably asking, how do you know that your family doesn’t care for you?

Bem, existem alguns sinais comuns que o podem demonstrar e, se reconhecer algum destes sinais, a sua dinâmica familiar é tóxica e deve encontrar uma forma de lidar com ela o mais rapidamente possível.

You don’t feel loved and respected

In a functional and healthy family, all family members should feel loved and respected. It’s the most important thing for a healthy family relationship.

If you’re away for some time, they should make a phone call or send you a simple email or a message on social media just to show they’re missing you and thinking of you.

Devem apoiar-te sempre, independentemente do que faças.

You’ll disagree sometimes, which is perfectly normal and we all sometimes argue with our family, but you’ll overcome it easily and behave as if nothing happened.

They’re never there when you need them most

In all family situations, in good and bad times, you have to stick together and be each other’s biggest support.

If your family is never there for you or if they can’t make time for you and your needs, it’s simply a sign that they don’t care about you and your needs.

Just like you should make time for them even with your busiest schedule, they should do the same for you. By making time for someone, you’re actually showing them that you honestly care for them.

They don’t care for your opinion nor your feelings

A tua opinião deve ser tão importante como a deles. Se todos os outros membros participarem na tomada de decisões importantes, também deve participar.

If they don’t care for your opinion or your feelings, it means they don’t care for you at all. That’s not healthy and it will definitely affect you.

The important thing is that you shouldn’t accept that kind of mistreatment. You don’t deserve it, so don’t accept it. Tell them how you’re not okay with it and how your opinion should be as important as theirs.

Sofreu diferentes tipos de abuso

You have to understand this – abuse is unacceptable no matter where it comes from. If a person cares for you honestly, they would never make you hurt like that.

And, I’m not talking about physical abuse only – there are different ways your family can abuse you, such as mental and abuso emocional.

If they are able to hurt you like that, then that’s a good sign that your family doesn’t care about you.

O gaslighting é também um outro tipo de abuso. It’s mental abuse because it affects your mental health negatively.

Your family’s manipulation can make you reconsider some of your own life decisions as well as make you feel bad about your own choices.

As suas necessidades nunca são importantes

First of all, understand that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s. If you’re trying to fulfill all of their needs, they should do the same for you.

If you feel like your family has never even cared for your needs, then probably (and I know this is very hard to hear) they don’t care for you at all.

This can make you feel sad and emotionally empty, but that’s something you should never allow.

There are other people in your life who care for you, and one day, you’ll find a person who’ll sacrifice everything for you and who’ll try to fulfill all of your needs.

É sempre duramente criticado

Ser constantemente criticado por pessoas que lhe são próximas, mesmo por coisas que estão fora do seu controlo, fará com que essa voz crítica interior se eleve.

Constant criticizing is one of the most common mistakes that parents make. Unfortunately, sometimes, they aren’t even aware of the consequences it leaves on their children’s mental and emotional health.

Mesmo quando fazemos algo de errado, há muitas outras formas de a nossa família nos chamar a atenção para o nosso erro.

Constant criticizing and punishments are never a way to encourage someone to fix their mistakes. It has so many bad effects, and it’s definitely not a good way to discipline children.

They don’t respect your boundaries

Em qualquer tipo de relação, tem de haver alguns limites saudáveis para que essa relação seja saudável e funcional, e todas as partes têm de respeitar esses limites.

Também precisamos de ter o nosso espaço pessoal, mesmo nas nossas relações íntimas.

If your family is constantly overstepping your boundaries, and if they don’t respect your need for personal space, then they don’t respect you at all.

You have to value yourself if they don’t want to. You’re important and you deserve to be treated well… to be treated with respect and dignity.

Learn to say ‘No’ to them. If your boundaries are being violated constantly, it may lead to developing a co-dependente relação entre si e a sua família, o que lhes permitirá controlá-lo completamente.

Tudo é sempre culpa tua

Do you have a feeling that somehow, you always get blamed for everything… all bad things that happen in your family?

Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. Don’t even dare to think that there is something wrong with you.

It only means you’re living in a toxic family with people who use you as the sacrificial lamb for all bad family situations.

They blame you for everything because it’s so much easier to put the culpa em vez de assumir a responsabilidade pelos seus próprios erros.

I know it’s heartbreaking to live in such surroundings when people blame you for all the bad things that happen. But, it’s also your fault if you allow them to do so. You have to learn to stand up for yourself.

Nunca partilham nada consigo

Haverá sentimento mais belo do que partilhar algo de bom que nos aconteceu com pessoas que amamos e de quem gostamos?

That’s actually the whole point of life… to have dreams and goals to pursue and to share them with your loved ones.

If you feel like your family is constantly pushing you aside and rarely sharing anything with you, it’s one of the most obvious signs your family doesn’t care for you.

É deixado de fora de todas as reuniões familiares

If you don’t live with your family and they never call or text you to simply check on you or they never visit or invite you to some important family gatherings, I’m sorry, but I have to break it out for you… they don’t care for you at all.

As reuniões familiares destinam-se a reunir todos os membros da família num único local para que possam pôr a conversa em dia e manter os laços fortes.

If your family doesn’t invite you to their gatherings, it’s only because they don’t want you there (obviously) and they don’t care about you, your life, or your well-being.

I know it’s heartbreaking to be so estranged from your family, but trust me, it’s better for you, and one day, you’ll realize this yourself.

Don’t force anything, and don’t go to places where you’re unwanted. If they don’t want to be in your life, then open the doors for them and escort them out of your life.

You have yourself and that’s more than enough, please trust me on this one.

Also, one day, you’ll meet the person who’ll never want to spend a day without you, and you’ll have your own family one day who’ll make up for everything you missed with your family.

You’re generally disappointed with how your family treats you

If your family constantly makes you feel like you’re the black sheep of the family and you feel disappointed by the way they treat you, that’s toxic and unhealthy family dynamics.

However, that’s not a reason for you to start thinking about how you’re less worthy than other members of your family.

Don’t allow their toxicity to affect your autoestima e fazem-te duvidar do teu valor próprio. Deixe de lhes dar poder sobre a sua vida.

And, don’t ever think that all of the things that are happening are somehow your fault… that you deserved it somehow…

Algumas pessoas são apenas tóxico, and no matter how much we love and try to save them, their toxicity just can’t be fixed.

What do you do when you realize your family doesn’t care about you?

If you’ve recognized any of these signs above, then you should react immediately and put a stop to your family’s toxic behavior and mistreatment. Here is how you’ll handle it effectively.

Em primeiro lugar, faça de si próprio uma prioridade

Antes de começar a lidar com os membros tóxicos da sua família, tem de mudar o foco para si próprio e fazer a si próprio uma prioridade. Deve aprender a tornar-se independente e autossuficiente.

One of the most beautiful things in the world is to have a happy and functional family, I agree, but it’s also not the end of the world if you don’t.

You have yourself and that’s the most important thing.

Even if you fail to make them realize that they’re being unfair to you, and even if you don’t succeed in fixing your relationship, you should accept it and move on with your life.

Think about yourself, your future and your own family you’ll have one day. Practice autocuidado and don’t allow their toxicity to affect your mood, your vibes and your happiness in life.

Estabelecer alguns limites saudáveis

Tens de trazer de volta algumas coisas saudáveis fronteiras na sua relação. Isto ajudá-lo-á definitivamente a livrar-se da sua toxicidade ou, pelo menos, a não permitir que ela afecte tanto a sua vida.

Os limites são bons e necessários para qualquer tipo de relação. Por vezes, é preciso traçar um limite e dizer que já chega; é aqui que o seu narcisista o comportamento e o desrespeito param.

Falar com eles sobre o assunto

Sit down and talk honestly with your family. Tell them how you feel about everything and how it’s high time for them to reconsider their behavior towards you.

Tell them also how their mistreatment is affecting and ruining your mental health. Set an ultimatum for them… either they’ll change their behavior towards you or you’ll cortar todo o contacto com eles.

Construir o seu próprio sistema de apoio

Find comfort in your friends or some ‘normal’ family members. You should set up your own support system that will help you go through all of it.

Find a shoulder to cry on. You shouldn’t go through all of this alone. There are still so many people who honestly care for you and those people deserve a place in your life the most.

Deixar de normalizar o abuso emocional

O abuso é abuso, and trust me, it’s even worse when it comes from people close to you. It’ll leave some marks for life on your physical, emotional, and mental health.

Por muito que se ame alguém, nunca se deve tolerar ser maltratado de qualquer forma. Confronte a sua família e diga-lhes para pararem com isso e começarem a tratá-lo como merece.

Permita-se sentir todas as suas emoções

Sentirá, com toda a certeza, uma série de emoções e tem todo o direito de sentir o que quiser. Chora quando for preciso. Grita quando sentires necessidade disso também.

You have the right to feel angry at them because I know you didn’t deserve to be treated the way they treat you.

However, please don’t allow that anger to consume you. It will take the best out of you and turn you into a very cold person.

Cortar o contacto durante algum tempo

I know this is hard. I know it’s hard to cut off contact with your loved ones or to get them out of your life forever.

However, in order to preserve your sanity, you’ll have to do it. If they are treating you badly, forget they are your family and know that there are some toxic people, abusers and narcissists in this world.

Narcisismo pode realmente destruir uma família por completo.

Conclusão

We are all aware that we aren’t all blessed with a healthy and happy family, and I really hope these common signs your family doesn’t care about you helped you realize this so you’ll be able to deal with it as soon as possible.

Além disso, estes métodos muito eficazes acima referidos ajudá-lo-ão a lidar com os membros tóxicos da sua família, mas tem de seguir cuidadosamente todas estas etapas.

You should never allow anyone, no matter how much you love and care for someone, to treat you the way you don’t deserve.

Emotional (and even worse, physical) abuse will leave some consequences on your mental health and well-being, and you’ll never be able to heal from it completely.

If you can’t deal with those toxic members of your family, then you have to cut off all ties with those members once and for all. Don’t allow anyone to control you and affect your happiness.

The most important thing you really have to be aware of is that it’s never your fault. They’re just toxic people who aren’t pleased with their own lives and want to make you feel the same.

Don’t allow them to do that. I know it’s awfully hard to cut off contact with your family, but for the sake of your own well-being and your future, you just have to do it.

Love and take care of yourself first because (I’m sure you’re well aware of this by now) you’re all you have at the end of the day.