Do you think you have some toxic family members who simply don’t care about you and your needs?
Here are some signs that your family doesn’t care about you, which will help you figure out whether you’re living in a dysfunctional, toxic environment or not.
Growing up in a nice, healthy and functional family positively affects our mental health and self-esteem.
It helps us become better people, and it also helps us to establish some good and realistic goals for the future.
On the other hand, growing up in a dysfunctional family and having a toxic relationship with members of your family will negatively affect your mental and emotional well-being, and also your future.
Toxic family relationships will leave some scars on your mental health; scars that you’ll never be able to get rid of.
You’ll be left with fear about the future and your own family… the perfect family you have always dreamed you’d have one day.
The fact is that family relationships shape our lives. They play a major role in what kind of people we’ll become one day.
However, unfortunately, we aren’t all blessed with a caring, happy and healthy family that is always there for us no matter what.
11 Enormous signs your family doesn’t care about you
Of course, if you’re a teenager, this doesn’t apply to you because most teenagers think that their family doesn’t love them and wants to make their life miserable, but that’s just a phase.
Now, you’re probably asking, how do you know that your family doesn’t care for you?
Well, there are some common signs that can show it, and if you recognize any of these signs, your family dynamics are toxic and you should find a way to deal with it ASAP.
You don’t feel loved and respected
In a functional and healthy family, all family members should feel loved and respected. It’s the most important thing for a healthy family relationship.
If you’re away for some time, they should make a phone call or send you a simple email or a message on social media just to show they’re missing you and thinking of you.
They should always support you no matter what you do.
You’ll disagree sometimes, which is perfectly normal and we all sometimes argue with our family, but you’ll overcome it easily and behave as if nothing happened.
They’re never there when you need them most
In all family situations, in good and bad times, you have to stick together and be each other’s biggest support.
If your family is never there for you or if they can’t make time for you and your needs, it’s simply a sign that they don’t care about you and your needs.
Just like you should make time for them even with your busiest schedule, they should do the same for you. By making time for someone, you’re actually showing them that you honestly care for them.
They don’t care for your opinion nor your feelings
Your opinion should be as equally important as theirs. If all other members participate in making some important decisions, you should participate also.
If they don’t care for your opinion or your feelings, it means they don’t care for you at all. That’s not healthy and it will definitely affect you.
The important thing is that you shouldn’t accept that kind of mistreatment. You don’t deserve it, so don’t accept it. Tell them how you’re not okay with it and how your opinion should be as important as theirs.
You have experienced different kinds of abuse
You have to understand this – abuse is unacceptable no matter where it comes from. If a person cares for you honestly, they would never make you hurt like that.
And, I’m not talking about physical abuse only – there are different ways your family can abuse you, such as mental and emotional abuse.
If they are able to hurt you like that, then that’s a good sign that your family doesn’t care about you.
Gaslighting is also another kind of abuse. It’s mental abuse because it affects your mental health negatively.
Your family’s manipulation can make you reconsider some of your own life decisions as well as make you feel bad about your own choices.
Your needs are never important
First of all, understand that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s. If you’re trying to fulfill all of their needs, they should do the same for you.
If you feel like your family has never even cared for your needs, then probably (and I know this is very hard to hear) they don’t care for you at all.
This can make you feel sad and emotionally empty, but that’s something you should never allow.
There are other people in your life who care for you, and one day, you’ll find a person who’ll sacrifice everything for you and who’ll try to fulfill all of your needs.
You are always harshly criticized
Being constantly criticized by people who are close to you, even for the things that are out of your control, will result in raising that inner critic voice.
Constant criticizing is one of the most common mistakes that parents make. Unfortunately, sometimes, they aren’t even aware of the consequences it leaves on their children’s mental and emotional health.
Even when you do something wrong, there are so many other ways your family can point out your mistake to you.
Constant criticizing and punishments are never a way to encourage someone to fix their mistakes. It has so many bad effects, and it’s definitely not a good way to discipline children.
They don’t respect your boundaries
In every kind of relationship, there has to be some healthy boundaries in order to make that relationship healthy and functional, and every side has to respect those boundaries.
We also need to have our personal space even in our close relationships.
If your family is constantly overstepping your boundaries, and if they don’t respect your need for personal space, then they don’t respect you at all.
You have to value yourself if they don’t want to. You’re important and you deserve to be treated well… to be treated with respect and dignity.
Learn to say ‘No’ to them. If your boundaries are being violated constantly, it may lead to developing a codependent relationship between you and your family, which will allow them to control you completely.
Everything is always your fault
Do you have a feeling that somehow, you always get blamed for everything… all bad things that happen in your family?
Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. Don’t even dare to think that there is something wrong with you.
It only means you’re living in a toxic family with people who use you as the sacrificial lamb for all bad family situations.
They blame you for everything because it’s so much easier to put the blame on someone else rather than take the responsibility for their own mistakes.
I know it’s heartbreaking to live in such surroundings when people blame you for all the bad things that happen. But, it’s also your fault if you allow them to do so. You have to learn to stand up for yourself.
They never share anything with you
Is there a more beautiful feeling than sharing something nice that happened to you with people you love and care for?
That’s actually the whole point of life… to have dreams and goals to pursue and to share them with your loved ones.
If you feel like your family is constantly pushing you aside and rarely sharing anything with you, it’s one of the most obvious signs your family doesn’t care for you.
You are left out of all family gatherings
If you don’t live with your family and they never call or text you to simply check on you or they never visit or invite you to some important family gatherings, I’m sorry, but I have to break it out for you… they don’t care for you at all.
Family gatherings are there to gather all family members in one place so they can catch up and maintain their strong bond.
If your family doesn’t invite you to their gatherings, it’s only because they don’t want you there (obviously) and they don’t care about you, your life, or your well-being.
I know it’s heartbreaking to be so estranged from your family, but trust me, it’s better for you, and one day, you’ll realize this yourself.
Don’t force anything, and don’t go to places where you’re unwanted. If they don’t want to be in your life, then open the doors for them and escort them out of your life.
You have yourself and that’s more than enough, please trust me on this one.
Also, one day, you’ll meet the person who’ll never want to spend a day without you, and you’ll have your own family one day who’ll make up for everything you missed with your family.
You’re generally disappointed with how your family treats you
If your family constantly makes you feel like you’re the black sheep of the family and you feel disappointed by the way they treat you, that’s toxic and unhealthy family dynamics.
However, that’s not a reason for you to start thinking about how you’re less worthy than other members of your family.
Don’t allow their toxicity to affect your self-esteem and make you doubt your self-worth. Stop giving them power over your life.
And, don’t ever think that all of the things that are happening are somehow your fault… that you deserved it somehow…
Some people are just toxic, and no matter how much we love and try to save them, their toxicity just can’t be fixed.
What do you do when you realize your family doesn’t care about you?
If you’ve recognized any of these signs above, then you should react immediately and put a stop to your family’s toxic behavior and mistreatment. Here is how you’ll handle it effectively.
First of all, make yourself a priority
Before you start dealing with your toxic family members, you have to shift the focus back at yourself and make yourself a priority. You should learn to become independent and self-sufficient.
One of the most beautiful things in the world is to have a happy and functional family, I agree, but it’s also not the end of the world if you don’t.
You have yourself and that’s the most important thing.
Even if you fail to make them realize that they’re being unfair to you, and even if you don’t succeed in fixing your relationship, you should accept it and move on with your life.
Think about yourself, your future and your own family you’ll have one day. Practice self-care and don’t allow their toxicity to affect your mood, your vibes and your happiness in life.
Set some healthy boundaries
You must bring back some healthy boundaries in your relationship. This will definitely help you get rid of their toxicity or at least not allow it to affect your life so much.
Boundaries are good and necessary for any kind of relationship. Sometimes, you need to draw the line and say this is enough; this is where your narcissistic behavior and disrespect stops.
Talk with them about it
Sit down and talk honestly with your family. Tell them how you feel about everything and how it’s high time for them to reconsider their behavior towards you.
Tell them also how their mistreatment is affecting and ruining your mental health. Set an ultimatum for them… either they’ll change their behavior towards you or you’ll cut off all contact with them.
Build your own support system
Find comfort in your friends or some ‘normal’ family members. You should set up your own support system that will help you go through all of it.
Find a shoulder to cry on. You shouldn’t go through all of this alone. There are still so many people who honestly care for you and those people deserve a place in your life the most.
Stop normalizing emotional abuse
Abuse is abuse, and trust me, it’s even worse when it comes from people close to you. It’ll leave some marks for life on your physical, emotional, and mental health.
No matter how much you love someone, you should never put up with being abused in any way. Confront your family and tell them to stop with it and start treating you like you deserve.
Allow yourself to feel all your emotions
You will most definitely feel a whole range of emotions, and you have every right to feel as you want. Cry when you need to. Yell when you feel the need for it, too.
You have the right to feel angry at them because I know you didn’t deserve to be treated the way they treat you.
However, please don’t allow that anger to consume you. It will take the best out of you and turn you into a very cold person.
Cut off contact for a while
I know this is hard. I know it’s hard to cut off contact with your loved ones or to get them out of your life forever.
However, in order to preserve your sanity, you’ll have to do it. If they are treating you badly, forget they are your family and know that there are some toxic people, abusers and narcissists in this world.
Narcissism can really destroy a family completely.
We are all aware that we aren’t all blessed with a healthy and happy family, and I really hope these common signs your family doesn’t care about you helped you realize this so you’ll be able to deal with it as soon as possible.
Also, these very effective methods above will help you handle your toxic family members, but you really have to go through all of these steps carefully.
You should never allow anyone, no matter how much you love and care for someone, to treat you the way you don’t deserve.
Emotional (and even worse, physical) abuse will leave some consequences on your mental health and well-being, and you’ll never be able to heal from it completely.
If you can’t deal with those toxic members of your family, then you have to cut off all ties with those members once and for all. Don’t allow anyone to control you and affect your happiness.
The most important thing you really have to be aware of is that it’s never your fault. They’re just toxic people who aren’t pleased with their own lives and want to make you feel the same.
Don’t allow them to do that. I know it’s awfully hard to cut off contact with your family, but for the sake of your own well-being and your future, you just have to do it.
Love and take care of yourself first because (I’m sure you’re well aware of this by now) you’re all you have at the end of the day.