20 sinais de que ele está magoado depois da separação (e o que fazer)
Breakups bring heartbreak or relief, sometimes both at the same time. You might part ways on friendly terms or your relationship might end in a vicious fight – whatever the reason or the way you broke up, it’s never easy to deal with a breakup.
If you’re wondering whether your ex is hurting, you’re still not over it. Ending a relationship takes time to deal with, so curiosity about how the other side is doing is natural.
It doesn’t matter if you’re wondering because you worry about him, because you want him to be in as much pain as you are, or because you want to get back together. Whatever your reason, you’ll get your answer by paying attention to his behavior para os sinais de que ele está a sofrer depois da separação.
20 Sinais de que ele está magoado depois da separação
How do you know if your ex-boyfriend is hurting? It’s not difficult to pinpoint the signs he is hurting after the breakup because they all have one thing in common: he’s not staying away.
When someone is over you and doesn’t want anything to do with you, he goes on with his life without concerning himself with what you’re doing. Todos os sinais de que ele está a sofrer depois de uma separação também lhe mostram o quanto ele ainda está envolvido na sua vida.
1. Ele bloqueia-o
If he blocked your number and on social media, he’s hurting and most likely wants to get over you. Cutting off all contact is one of the signs that he’s in pain e a tentar manter-se afastado para proteger os seus sentimentos.
A regra de não manter contacto é uma das formas mais eficazes de lidar com os sentimentos feridos após uma separação. He’s trying to stop himself from contacting you by blocking your number and he’s trying to avoid seeing updates about your life on social media.
If he didn’t care about contacting you, you’d know that o teu ex seguiu em frente.
2. Ele ignora-o
When he ignores you when you contact him or when you run into him, he’s trying to hide his true feelings. He’s hurting and seeing you brings him even more pain, so he’s avoiding you.
If you run in the same circles and can’t help seeing each other, this will be even more obvious. It might seem childish when he just passes by you pretending you don’t exist – he’s sulking and ignoring you because he’s hurting e ver-te só o faz sentir-se pior.
3. Afasta-se de todos
Um dos sinais reveladores de que um homem está a sofrer é quando desaparece completamente. His ego and his feelings are both hurt, so he’s hiding from everyone until he’s recovered. If he’s not only hiding from you, but also ignoring his friends, he needs time to process his feelings.
He’s hurt and ashamed, so he doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone because it will only make him feel worse. If anyone gets in touch with him, he’ll probably lash out at them or be completely listless.
4. He’s in denial about the finality of your breakup
Denial is one of the sure signs that he’s hurting. If he’s acting like your breakup is temporary and not a big deal, he’s not taking it seriously. He’s either going through the fases de uma separação and will eventually accept it, or he’s just incapable of dealing with how he feels about losing you.
If he’s the dumper, it might also be a sign that he’s playing with your feelings. If he thinks that he can break up with you only to have you wait for him to change his mind, he’s in denial and considers your breakup a game without thinking about what it’s doing to you.
5. He shows up where he knows you’ll be
You go to your favorite coffee shop at your usual time, and he’s there. You’re meeting a friend for lunch, and he shows up at the same restaurant. You see him hanging around your neighborhood or near your workplace.
Um dos sinais de que ele can’t stop thinking about you is if he’s always around. If you’ve blocked him, he might be trying to get in touch with you. If he’s the one who broke up with you, he’s regretting it and trying to catch a glimpse of you or talk to you.
6. He won’t stop texting or calling
Looking for excuses to contact you and can’t move on with his life is a definite sign that he’s in pain. He doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings and he’s trying to keep you in his life.
If he’s texting or calling you as much as when you were together, or even more, he’s unable to accept that you’re over. He either thinks that he still has a chance or he’s hoping to convince you to give him one.
7. Ele diz-te que tem saudades tuas
When he outright tells you that he misses you, it’s a sign that he can’t deal with his feelings any more. It might be a moment of weakness and he still wants to be over you or he’s really reached a point where he doesn’t want to be without you any longer.
On the other hand, it could be a manipulation tactic, so be careful. If he’s the one who broke up with you and left you heartbroken, then suddenly começa a sentir a sua falta, you can’t trust him until he proves to you that he really means it.
8. Ele implora por outra oportunidade
Implorar-lhe que o aceite de volta é um sinal óbvio de que ele lamenta ter-te perdido e dói-lhe estar longe de ti, mas you shouldn’t take his words at face value.
If you decide to give him another chance, he should first earn it, starting with a proper apology. The purpose of an apology isn’t to make him feel better or to acknowledge your reaction. A real apology shows that he’s genuinely sorry pelos seus actos e que quer compensá-la.
9. Ele entra numa relação de ricochete
Uma nova relação imediatamente após uma separação é um mecanismo de sobrevivência destinado a distrair-se da dor. If he’s dating someone else before a certain amount of time has passed, it won’t end well for anyone involved.
First of all, it won’t help him deal with his feelings – it’s well known that os descontos fazem-nos sentir mais a falta do nosso ex. Not only that, but he’ll also hurt the other person he’s dating and, se o deixares, esta situação também te vai magoar.
A melhor coisa que pode fazer por si próprio é ignorar as suas acções e afastar-se de toda esta confusão. Don’t let him drag you into it. Your ex and his new relationship are none of your business because you have better things to do.
10. Ele fala mal de ti
Anyone who’s trash-talking their ex-partner is angry and trying to hurt the other person’s feelings. Unless he’s a narcissist running a smear campaign, badmouthing you isn’t a calculated plan to make your mutual friends hate you, but a reaction to his pain.
He’s overwhelmed with how much he’s hurting, so he’s trying to make you feel the same. He also might be desperate to believe in the words they’re saying or looking for sympathy. Don’t let the things he’s saying get to you.
11. Ele distorce a verdade sobre a vossa separação
There are plenty of reasons for breakups, some of which are more painful than the others. Sometimes things seem fine, but underneath it they’re not working and you realize that it’s time to break up. Pode ser mútuo ou pode ser o resultado de algo que uma pessoa fez.
Seja qual for a razão da sua separação, se he can’t deal with his emotional pain and he’s trying to make you seem like the bad guy in the breakup, his behavior is toxic and you shouldn’t accept it.
If he’s trying to paint himself as a victim and blame you for everything that went wrong in your relationship, pode falar com ele e pedir-lhe que pare ou pode ignorá-lo completamente.
He can try to put it all on you, but people who know you won’t believe him. If he manages to convince them, you can talk to them and tell them what’s going on, but it’s best if you don’t get involved at all. Vive a tua vida sem preocupações.
12. Ele tenta magoar-te de volta
If he’s miserável sem ti e a única maneira de lidar com a dor dele é tentar magoá-la de volta, you shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some ways he could be doing this is by damaging your reputation or property, threatening you, harassing you or sabotaging you.
Watch out if his way of thinking is “If I am hurting, so should you”. He’s a toxic person who won’t stop hurting you even if you reconcile. He might be in pain, but that’s never an excuse for hurting others.
Seeking revenge for the breakup and trying to teach you a lesson are signs that he’s someone you should stay away from.
13. Ele persegue-te
A clear sign that he’s not over you and that he’s hurting is if he’s up-to-date with everything that’s going on with your life. If he’s taking notice of all the small details that someone who doesn’t care about his ex-girlfriend or boyfriend would ignore, it’s obvious that he’s still very much invested.
Whether he’s stalking your social media or if he’s everywhere you go, é preciso ter cuidado. If his pain is combined with anger, he might not stop at keeping tabs on you. If he disturbs or harasses you, don’t try to deal with it alone.
14. Ele intromete-se na tua vida
Como saber se o seu ex ainda está preso a si? If he can’t seem to stay away. Ele pode fazer isso de muitas maneiras, mas uma das coisas mais irritantes e possivelmente perturbadoras que ele pode fazer é intrometer-se na sua vida.
Pode fazer perguntas sobre si, tentar contactar o seu novo parceiro, fazer comentários críticos, incomodá-la, enviar-lhe mensagens em excesso, entrar em contacto com a sua família, tentar envolvê-la na vida dele, etc.
O que é que podemos fazer se quisermos seguir em frente com a nossa vida? Deve ser muito rigoroso na imposição dos seus limites. Let him know that it’s over and that his input is not welcome.
Se quer voltar a estar com ele, deve falar com ele e discutir abertamente os seus sentimentos.
15. He pretends that he doesn’t care
Pretending that he doesn’t care is one of the more subtle signs that he ainda tem sentimentos por timas algumas das suas acções denunciam-no. If he’s trying too hard to make it seem like he’s over you, he probably isn’t.
Unless you’ve hurt him in a vicious way, he has no reason to pretend like you don’t exist. Insisting that he’s okay and trying to prove to everyone that you don’t matter is a way of coping with his hurt feelings.
16. He’s lashing out
If he’s hurting and has no one he can reach out to after the breakup, he might be feeling isolated and alone. If he has no outlet for his feelings, it’s possible he doesn’t know how to deal with them.
Anger is one of the most common reactions to a broken heart. If he’s lashing out or being mean, it’s possible that he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions. He might also become withdrawn and unapproachable.
Consoante os seus sentimentos e desejos, pode manter-se afastada ou tentar contactá-lo. Se ainda tem sentimentos de amizade por ele e o quer ajudar, pode encorajá-lo a falar com um terapeuta.
17. Volta a cair nos seus maus hábitos
As relações mudam as pessoas. Todos nós nos adaptamos e fazemos compromissos, o que inclui mudar os nossos hábitos para acomodar a outra pessoa. If he used to do something that bothered you and stopped and is now back to doing it, it might be a sign that he’s hurting.
This is especially true if it’s something self-destructive that he’s using to deal with negative emotions, como o consumo excessivo de álcool, o tabagismo ou o abuso de substâncias.
If you’re worried about him, but don’t want to get involved, you can tell one of your mutual friends to pay attention to his behavior.
18. Ele tenta fazer-te ciúmes
Is he flirting with others where you can see? Are you specifically informed about him being with someone else soon after your breakup or are your mutual friends telling you how he’s going out every night and hooking up?
Trying to make you jealous is one of the biggest signs that he didn’t esquecer-te e seguir em frente. If he was, he wouldn’t feel the need to let you know about it. He wants to manipulate you by trying to make you regret the breakup.
19. Ele faz uma grande mudança
A big life change can be a sign that he’s hurt and trying to deal with his feelings. If he changes his job, moves long distance or makes a radical change in his appearance or behavior, he’s going through heartache and trying to deal with it.
This way of handling his pain can be effective. Post-breakup, everything reminds you of your ex, especially if you were in a long-term relationship. If you went through many experiences together, he’ll want to create new memories that don’t include you.
20. Os amigos dele pedem-lhe para falar com ele
If his best friend or your mutual friends contact you asking you to talk to him, it’s a sign that he’s been hurting and that they know all about it.
Maybe he’s been wallowing in his pain because he lamenta ter-te perdido or he’s been self-destructive, but either way, if his friends are concerned enough to ask you to interfere, it’s serious.
It’s up to you to decide what to do. If there’s no bitterness between you and you want to help him deal with his feelings, you can accept their request and talk to him, but é preciso estar emocionalmente preparado e seguro do que quer da relação.
What To Do If He’s Hurting After The Breakup?
Depois de uma separação, ou se quer manter a separação ou se quer voltar a estar junto. Dependendo do que se quer, há diferentes caminhos que se podem seguir, but whichever you choose, it’s important to do the following:
1. Estabelecer limites
The most crucial piece of relationship advice you’ll ever get is that deve conhecer os seus limites, comunicá-los à outra pessoa e fazê-los respeitar. Esta é a base de relações saudáveis e da manutenção da sua saúde mental.
Seja o que for que precisa da sua relação com o seu ex, deve dizer-lhe como se sente e lembrá-lo de não violar os seus limites se ele se esquecer. É assim que se Proteja-se e mantenha a toxicidade fora das suas relações.
2. Cuidar de si
Os seus cuidados pessoais e a sua autoestima devem ter prioridade sobre tudo o resto. Faça coisas que alimentem a sua saúde, que lhe dêem um sentido de objetivo e que lhe tragam alegria. Seja gentil e paciente consigo próprio sem ser demasiado indulgente ou negligente. Exprima os seus sentimentos.
Se der prioridade à sua relação consigo próprio, todas as suas outras relações serão beneficiadas. You’ll have an easier time getting over a breakup and understanding where other people are coming from.
3. Respect each other’s needs
If your feelings regarding getting back together aren’t the same, it’s important to respect each other’s decisions. For example, if your ex wants to get back together, but you don’t want to stay in touch at all, you have no obligation to do so, and vice versa.
It’s a good idea to take some time away from each other even if you want to get back together. This will give you both uma oportunidade para pensar em tudo e decidir o que quer fazer. A distância pode fazê-lo mudar de ideias se vir as coisas de uma perspetiva diferente.
*
These three rules make every relationship easier, but it’s especially beneficial when you’re in a breakup situation. Based on how you want things to go forward, there are different points to consider.
• If you’re not interested in being friends with your ex:
Se apenas o quer fora da sua vida, a forma mais eficaz de lidar com isto é cortá-lo completamente. Quanto mais se mantiverem fiéis a regra de não contacto, the faster you’ll get over him.
Em vez de pensar nele, concentrar-se em si próprio and look for things that make you happy. It’s difficult, but it will get easier with time.
• If you want to stay friends:
Ser claro e rigoroso quanto à sua fronteiras é de extrema importância. Os especialistas em relacionamentos recomendam estabelecer regras e directrizes que irá distinguir a vossa nova relação com o outro da que tinham.
It’s important to give each other time to heal after the breakup and evitar fazer coisas que possam ser consideradas românticasA relação com o outro pode ser um exemplo de como era a relação romântica, como abraçar, dar apoio emocional ou qualquer coisa que vos faça lembrar como eram um com o outro.
Ver também: Porque é que o meu ex não quer ser meu amigo? (Explicação completa)
• If you want to voltar a juntar-se:
Voltar a juntar-se depois de uma separação parece fácil, mas se quiserem ficar juntos desta vez, precisam de vontade de ambas as partes de fazer com que as coisas funcionem.
Estabelecer prioridades comunicação e procurar formas de resolver os problemas that caused the end of your relationship. Only after you’re able to start over with no resentments should you consider getting your ex back.
Em conclusão
Se ainda se sente ligado ao seu ex, knowing that he’s heartbroken is probably making you sad too. On the other hand, if you’re happy about getting rid of him and think he deserves it, it might make you happy if you notice signs he is hurting after the breakup.
Either way, your ex guy’s behavior is the key to knowing how he feels. Some of the things he’s doing because he’s hurting are surprising, some are just as you would expect. Don’t let his actions influence your feelings.
For you it’s most important to take care of yourself and let him do the same. If you want to get back together with him, it has to be mutual or you’ll be only hurting yourself. Both of you need to be willing to deal with your problems or leave things as they are.
