Modern dating introduced us to the concept of almost relationships and presented it as something completely normal and natural. And even though there is nothing wrong with these types of romantic relationships, when it is really what both of the people involved want, the situation is completely different when one of the partners starts to grow feelings which aren’t returned.
In this situation, an almost relationship can cause severe emotional damage in more than one way. And here are the 4 most common ways in which it messes you up.
1. Your view on love will be distorted
The first aspect of your life an almost relationship will mess with is your view on love and romance in general. When someone gives you just half of their heart, you forget what true love really is and how it should make you feel. You forget what you truly deserve and with time, you begin mistaking these crumbs of affection you keep getting with the way love should be.
After a while, you start convincing yourself that you are just a hopeless romantic who expects too much. That things are like this everywhere and that you just have to settle for it.
After a while, you stop waiting for a fairy tale. You lose sense of what a healthy relationship should look like and you start believing that this minimal effort you are getting is more than enough and something you should be grateful for. You start believing that you should be thankful for this half-assed love you are getting, even though this couldn’t be further from the truth.
2. You’ll lose sense of your own worth
When you spend some time involved in an almost relationship, no matter how hard you try, you can’t avoid questioning your own worth. You can’t help but wonder why you are not enough for your partner to commit to you completely.
And not only that—you also start comparing yourself with everyone else around you, including all the girls around your almost boyfriend. What did his ex-girlfriend have that you don’t have? How could he commit to her but can’t do the same for you?
How come there are some women who can get their boyfriend’s undivided love and attention and you can’t? What is wrong with you? Is there something you should change about yourself so the man you love could love you back?
You begin to think that you aren’t pretty or smart enough. Maybe you should improve your bedroom skills or you are simply not interesting enough to be around?
With time, you start to think that you are obviously not worthy of this man’s complete love. And therefore, you stop loving yourself the way you should as well.
But sadly, this broken self-image doesn’t disappear the moment your almost relationship ends.
In fact, you remain the girl who thinks she isn’t good enough even when you move on from this destructive relationship.
3. You’ll become an overthinker
Another consequence of an almost relationship that can hardly be avoided is overthinking. Whether you like it or not, when you are in an almost relationship, you spend years of your life dissecting and analyzing your boyfriend’s every word and move. Because let’s face it—you never know where you stand so this is the only way for you to even attempt to understand your relationship or where it is going.
But all of this leaves consequences on your mental and emotional health. It makes you become a person who always expects the worst and who always looks for a hidden meaning.
A woman who has trust issues and who always second-guesses everything that happens around her. A person who spends sleepless nights rereading everyone texts and analyzing people’s body language, trying to figure out their true intentions and feelings.
4. You’ll be exhausted
When you are in an almost relationship, you are always the one who tries harder. The one who puts in all the effort while not getting anything in return.
You are the one who initiates most of the contact, the one who wants to label things, the one who wants to commit. The one who sends the first texts and the one who puts her life on hold, waiting for the other person to choose her.
Or you are the one who spends all of this time fighting your feelings, trying to chase them away. The one who keeps pretending to be indifferent and as if this type of setting works out perfectly fine for you, while it is actually tearing you apart.
Whatever role you choose to play in this one-sided relationship, the bottom line is the same—this type of relationship tires you emotionally and mentally. It drains and exhausts you, without you even being aware of it.