Everything is about him. He is the center of the world. Well, not anymore. You’ve had enough. You finally have the courage to get out of this nightmarish relationship, but it’s not going to be so easy.
Not only that you won’t escape that easy, but even if you do, you’ll be emotionally crippled. You won’t be able to trust anyone for so long.
You will look at every other relationship like a potential threat of getting hurt—getting imprisoned—again.
When you meet a narcissistic guy, he is perfect. He is the best person you’ve ever met. He puts on his ‘good guy’ mask and he’s ready to commit the perfect crime—to lure you into his little trap.
He flatters you. He tells you the exact words you want or need to hear. You are his target and he’ll do anything in his power to have you. You need to understand that he really needs to have you.
He needs someone to drain so that his ego boosts up, so he can continue living and breathing someone else’s air.
As soon as you fall for his trick and you commit, things go downhill from there. Then, bit by bit, he starts to reveal his real face. All the masks are suddenly down. He has caught you in his web.
When you finally get the courage to leave him, he will sense it. He will know you want to leave him and he will turn on all of his little games, just to win you back. He will give you false hope.
For a moment you will think he has changed. You couldn’t be more wrong.
The only thing you can do to leave this nightmare is to break things off once and for all—with no mercy, because he will take advantage of that. Even if you break up with him, be prepared for the following things to happen:
1. He is going to stalk you
Any normal person would be hurt because you left. But somewhere along the line, he would have realized that you were in a relationship that made you more miserable than happy. So, leaving a relationship that didn’t suit you is a perfectly normal step.
But a narcissist would never accept that. His ego is too big and he is too much in love with himself to be able to realize that someone is not happy with him. So he will be pissed off and angry. And if he can’t trick you back into a relationship with him, he will stalk and harass you.
That is his last step because he needs to be superior to you, and when he loses that, he becomes desperate. The moment you dumped him, he started to feel powerless.
2. He’s hot ‘n’ cold
Mood swings—the best two words that describe him. He will contact you after the breakup. He will try to get back together. First, he’ll engage his charm and his ‘perfect’ moves to try to get you back like the first time he picked you up.
If you don’t fall for that, he will lose it. His real self will come to the surface. Then he will realize what he has done and he will tone it down. He will switch to being a ‘goody goody’. If he changes his moods this often, it means that you’ve hit a nerve. You made him powerless, once again.
3. He’ll trash talk you
He will try to talk trash about you. He will try to destroy your reputation. Every possible lie you can imagine, he will tell. He will have no boundaries whatsoever. After all, you are the one who broke free from his abusive behavior. You realized you are worth more and that doesn’t suit him.
This is his way of trying to get revenge. This is his way of trying to get to you.
4. He’ll try to manipulate you
You have to play the game without emotions. You mustn’t give him any reason or any hope that the two of you can get back together. Even if you still feel something, you have to shut those feelings down. You know that he is not going to change. Period.
He’ll try to manipulate you either way, but if he sees that you are completely cold, he will give up.
5. He needs to be right
He needs to win. Despite the fact that you were the one who left him, he will do anything in his power to ‘win the breakup’. His ego must be checked. If you try to strike a deal with him or do any kind of compromise, he will use it to turn the situation in his favor. He needs to win!
6. He’ll bring out the big guns
Because his pride and ego are hurt, because he is not used to being dumped, he will use everything he’s got against you. Everything you told him about yourself is not safe anymore. Any secret or deep emotion you shared with him is now at stake to be put out to the public.
He’ll use every little embarrassing thing about you against you. At this point, he will do this not to get you back, because he knows that ship has sailed. He will do it just to hurt you on purpose.
7. He’ll blame you
When all else fails and there is no hope left, he’ll blame you for everything. He’ll try to convince you that you were the one who destroyed your relationship. God forbid it was him—he is flawless.
At the beginning of the relationship, he put you on a pedestal. He made you feel like a queen. That was all on purpose, and when he finally started to show his real face, he destroyed everything just by being himself.
He put the blame on you. You know that isn’t true, but he needs to believe that so he can continue to live his narcissistic life.