In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

There was once a time when I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. You had come into my life and unexpectedly became the most important person to me.

You became my best friend, my rock, my comfort and my truth to reality. You were my biggest cheerleader, saying that you would always be there to support me. You believed in me when no one else did, including myself.

In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

I tried not to fall in love with you but I was absolutely powerless to stop. Before I realized the danger zone, I’d fallen so deeply into the ravine of loving you like I’d never loved before.

Without trying, you had full custody of my heart. Oh, I don’t blame you for the heartbreak I was too blind to see coming. You told me that we were just friends.

couple drinking coffee

You said that you didn’t want a relationship. I just had hope to change your mind and you selfishly encouraged me with my success when you never planned to.

In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

I told you that I wasn’t perfect. I knew that I would annoy you sometimes. I knew that compared to you, I was a complete mess.

But I believed that you had allowed your heart to love me in return and that together we’d find a way to make it work. I never could have imagined the havoc that would be thrown our way from every direction.

I never could have seen the events that would drag me to the bottom. But you never seemed to give up on me. You seemed to still remain in my corner, encouraging me forward when I just wanted to give up.

In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

Woman in black jacket sits on rocks near lake during the day

As everyone else turned and walked away from me, you were there to tell me that it was their problem and not mine.

You told me to just keep doing what I needed to do. With each letdown that you picked me up from, I fell more and more in love with you. I realized that my heart was so far gone by then but I still believed in miracles and magic.

I believed that I was one step closer to being yours as I found a more positive outlook. I believed that the day of ‘us’ was just around the corner.

In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you. So how was I meant to see the day that you disappeared?

You said you were being the big push that I needed to get things moving for the better of my life. You said that you were still there for me and that you would still be in my life. You knew that you were the ONLY person I had in my life.

The only one who I could seek advice from. The only one who I could cry to. The only one who I could count on. You knew how much I loved you and needed you to remind me to keep going.

Happy mixed race woman hug black man husband

In your absence you’ve taught me how to live without you.

So in the last month I’ve been doing what I could to bring things to a better state. I’ve been working to get my life back on track. I’ve been trying new ideas and I’ve been scared to try some others.

I’ve thought of solutions I hope will accomplish my goals. But I’ve done it alone. You haven’t been here. You have gone days without communicating with me.

You know that I cannot go anywhere and you haven’t come to see me.

When I suggested you come and see me, you avoided the subject. You don’t call to see how I’m doing or how my progress is going.

You don’t call to see if I’m OK. You only call to tell me about your problems or to ask my opinion, even though we both know that you won’t take my advice anyway.

serious woman wearing white shirt and talking on her phone outside

In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

So now I know that I can live without you. My heart hurts for the dreams that I once had for us. I catch myself wanting to reach out to you and share something with you.

But I then remind myself that you aren’t doing the same with me. And if you really wanted to know if I was OK, then you would ask. If I was important to you, then you would make some effort. Instead, you just abandoned me. Just like everyone else.

You now only see the negative in me and no longer believe in me. I could ask myself why I should try, if no one, not even you, believes in me and sees my potential. I could ask myself that but I won’t. I won’t ask because I know what I hold inside.

I know my value and importance. I’m just sad that you can’t. I no longer need validation from you because in your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

In your absence you’ve taught me how to live without you.

For so long, the only thought that went through my head was the incessant question, ‘’How do I live without you?’’

back view of woman looking city

How do I live without the person who made me the woman that I am? How do I live without the one person who has shaped me to be the best version of myself?

The one who never got tired of making me better and always had my back no matter what.

How does a person get used to living without somebody they believed was their better half?

It was tough. It took me time, I’m not going to lie. I had to stop myself from wondering why, in order to stay sane. It was a roller coaster of emotions… but I pulled through.

In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

Now, instead of torturing myself wondering why you’ve abandoned me, I tell myself that if it was meant to be, you’d still be here.

close up photo of blonde young woman with tied hair wearing earrings and black undershirt

God has a funny way of showing me what’s good for me but I choose to believe that I’m on my way to something more meaningful. Something that is going to come into my life, make me happy, and stick by my side come hell or high water.

I foolishly believed that you were my soulmate. The one person in this world who was created to stand by my side and always hold my hand. The one I would never have to live without. But I was wrong.

Now I see that you came into my life to teach me a lesson. That no matter how much love there is and no matter how deeply connected I felt to you… if it’s not in the cards for us, it’s not going to last.

It was a tough pill to swallow but that’s what helped me push forward without looking back every two minutes.

In your absence, you’ve taught me how to live without you.

Today, I accept what has transpired between us. I accept that what we had was special, deep, profound and magical and that while it lasted, it was a sensational rush of feelings through my body and soul.

close up photo of woman looking over shoulder

I no longer feel resentment and anger when I think about you. Now I just feel sorry for the way that you are.

See, I’m going to be fine. I’m not going to let this define me, mark me or destroy me.

It’s going to be rough getting over you with no closure but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it stop me from living my life.

You know your reasons for leaving me and you’re the one who needs to live with them. I, on the other hand, have a clear conscience. There is nothing that is troubling me and keeping me from sleeping at night.

One of these days, I’m going to wake up and you won’t be the first thought that pops into my head. And when that happens, I’m going to know that I’ve made it. You’re no longer somebody whose company I crave, and I’ll finally be free of you.

In Your Absence, You’ve Taught Me How To Live Without You