If you ask me, texting is a double-edged sword. It helps us stay connected with people we care about (and ignore those we don’t), and at the same time, it has the power to make our lives a living hell.
Since when have these questions become our everyday concern: OMG, they haven’t sent me an emoji in a text message… what if they’re mad at me? They sent me a one-word reply. I seriously think that I should ask them what’s going on here.
Don’t even get me started on the “Seen” syndrome: I know they read my text message, but they still haven’t replied. Should I double-text them or should I pretend that I don’t care and that it’s okay for them to ignore me FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
(I still can’t forgive the person who invented that famous “Seen” for ruining our lives).
All these things force us to question whether they are ‘bad at texting’ or are they just not that into us. I know one thing for sure:
Differentiating between the two is not as easy as it might seem.
It’s really hard to tell when a person is simply texting anti-talent and when they don’t care about you.
The worst thing of all is our tendency to make excuses for their behavior, so the phrase ‘bad at texting’ is sometimes nothing more than a LIE that we tell to ourselves because we don’t want to face the truth.
But, today, we’ll face the truth together.
Are they really ‘bad at texting’, but great in real life?
So, you met a great guy/girl and everything seems perfect when you two are together. They shower you with affection, they make you laugh, they make you feel special, and you really enjoy their company.
And then, when you’re back at your place, things change drastically. You wait for them to text you for hours and nothing happens.
Or, they sent you something completely confusing, and it makes you question everything.
So, there you are, sitting next to your cell phone overthinking and thinking about what’s exactly going on here.
Do they really suck at texting, but are awesome in real life? Does such a thing even exist?
Believe it or not, yes, it does exist. I’ve been with a guy who was really TERRIBLE at texting and I would always overthink things and worry about everything.
After some time, I asked him to tell me honestly how he’s feeling about me and to explain to me his texting indifference.
He told me that he’s totally crazy about me, but he doesn’t like texting. Finally, I realized that the reason why he sometimes ignored my text messages is that he hated replying to them, which brought me to the following conclusion:
If a person makes an effort in real life to treat you the way you deserve, then yes, chances are they are just ‘bad at texting’.
What to do when your partner is bad at texting (but great in real life)
The worst thing you could do is start bombarding him with tons of text messages and demanding him to reply to every single one of them in an effort to force him to change.
Here’s what to do when your partner is bad at texting (but great in real life):
• Keep seeing them in person as frequently as possible
• Don’t bombard them with text messages, but keep it simple
• Don’t see it as an issue, but try to understand it
• Instead of texting, prefer to call them
• Talk to them about it
Remember: their affection has nothing to do with their texting habit. If you know that they are great in real life, but not so great at texting, don’t let the latter prevail.
Always keep in mind that they care about you, but they are just having difficulties showing it to you via texting.
If they are guilty of doing THESE 6 THINGS then they’re not ‘bad at texting’, they’re just not that into you:
Now that we know when a person is really bad at texting, but great in real life, and we know what to do about it, it’s time to face the truth once again. It’s time to admit to yourself that maybe they’re just not that into you after all.
Here are some texting red flags you should never ignore:
They’re only texting you when they’re bored or lonely.
Many of us use texting as a relaxing tool when we’re feeling bored or lonely. But, things get complicated when you’re doing that with someone who actually cares about you.
Not so long ago, I was texting with a guy who’s texting behavior was really suspicious. He would leave me in the middle of a conversation and he would never suggest meeting up in person.
When I told this problem to one of my friends, she told me the following: I’m sorry to tell you, but this is one of the biggest signs he’s only texting you when he’s bored or lonely.
I appreciate her for always being brutally honest with me. I just wish I had realized what was happening sooner.
One-word replies have become the norm.
If there’s anything in the world that I really hate, it is one-word replies. It’s like telling the other person: Hi and Bye (I don’t care about you).
Sometimes, one-word replies are justified (for example, when a person is busy at the moment), but if it happens on a regular basis, then you know they’re just not that into you.
So, please, don’t make excuses for them because they certainly didn’t deserve that.
Sometimes, it takes them days/weeks/(months?) to respond to you.
I totally understand when someone is being busy and doesn’t have time to text you back, but is it really possible to stay busy for days, weeks, or even months? I don’t think so.
Every single one of us can find a few seconds of our time to tell a person what exactly is going on and why we can’t text them at the moment. Anything else is just an excuse.
You deserve more than having to wait on someone for eternity to text you back.
All they ever ask you is to send them nudes.
Seriously? I can’t accentuate enough how enraged I am about this one. I’ve had such an experience with one guy and all I can say is: If this ever happens to you, run for your life from them.
There’s something utterly selfish in the fact that they don’t see you as a human being. They never ask you about your day or how you’re feeling because they are not interested in you on that level.
The math is simple here: All they ever ask you is to send them nudes because that’s the only thing they’re interested in.
Them texting first is a REALLY rare occasion.
I have no problems with initiating conversations, but if I have to do it every single time, then there’s something truly wrong with whatever situation-ship I’m in with that one person.
If they never or seldom bother to be the one texting first, then this is another huge sign that they’re not really into you. If they were, they would show it for sure.
They bombard you with unsolicited pics.
Do you know what’s even worse than them asking you to send nudes? It’s them BOMBARDING you with unsolicited pics.
You can decide for yourself whether you’ll send them nudes or not, but you certainly can’t stay indifferent to their unsolicited pics.
You know what they say: Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. If the only thing (or the main thing) they’re doing is bombarding you with pics of themselves, then you know they’re not ‘bad at texting’, but they are just not that into you.
I mean, you can’t be that ‘bad at texting’ to accidentally send dozens of unsolicited pics to someone, right? Right.
Do you still think that they’re ‘bad at texting’?
If you’ve just realized that they are actually ‘bad at texting’, but great in real life, congratulations! I’m truly happy for you.
If you’ve just realized that being ‘bad at texting’ was just your excuse for them, I’m both sorry and happy for you. I’m sorry that you didn’t realize it sooner, but I’m happy that you realize it now.
You still have a chance to live the life you deserve and to be with someone who is worthy of being with you. So, don’t waste your time texting those who don’t bother texting you back.
Don’t waste your time waiting, but face the truth and have faith that one day you will meet a guy/girl who will find plenty of different ways to show you that they really care about you.