Have you ever wondered what it is about you that just keeps attracting all these narcissists into your life? Does it stress you how much you just can’t seem to shake them off? You have finally learned their main traits – their inflated ego and lack of consideration for anyone but themselves. But what is it that makes them target you in particular?
If you want them to stop knocking at your door and bringing drama and toxicity into your life, here are some things that they look for in a partner in order to hook them. Consider yourself warned, and good luck!
1. You have low self-esteem
Narcissists target people with low confidence because it gives them a better chance to hook you. You will likely feel very flattered by their empty, fake words, and it will make it easier for them to make you fall for them. You are not used to being complimented, so when they love-bomb you, saying you’re the most beautiful woman they have ever laid their eyes on, you will believe them because it will make you feel good about yourself. Also, they are counting on the fact that you probably don’t feel that great about yourself, so you’ll likely accept their shitty behavior. Jerks.
2. You’re too caring
He sees how thoughtful and caring you are with your friends and people around you, even when they don’t deserve it, so he uses it to his advantage, thinking you will bend over backwards for his sorry narcissistic ass as well. He knows you’re going to let his shit fly even when he treats you like crap, so you’re his ideal victim.
3. You have a small circle of friends
Narcissists are drawn to people with only a small circle around them. They are counting on the fact you don’t have a large, solid support group for when they drain you and use you. You’re a private person, and you only keep those really close around you. He thinks he can use it against you and manipulate you more easily. Douche!
4. You’re intelligent
But your mind is not exactly why they’re drawn to you. No. They will look for smart girls because they want to prove that they are smarter. That they can outwit you. You will be somewhat of a challenge for them in their mind games in which the endgame is to manipulate you to the point of falling into their deceptive web of fake promises. Don’t let him. Use your intelligence to see through this and leave. Show him he’s bit off more than he can chew.
5. You are ambitious
You’re a smart, capable woman who doesn’t waste time and goes out and makes things happen for herself! You are powerful and strong, and “regular’’ men would potentially find you intimidating—which is exactly why a narcissist thinks you are the perfect catch for him! They are usually charismatic and manipulative go-getters themselves, so they would love to find a girl equal to them. It will boost their egos to break a girl of your capabilities.
6. You just went through a breakup
You are fragile, weak, still not over your long-term boyfriend who just left you out of the blue or you’ve been through some other kind of heartbreak. This is where the narcissist enters. He will walk into your life, pretend that he wants to help you and be there for you, and he will appear so sweet and supportive. But once you open the door to him, it won’t take him long to take his mask off and reveal his true self—that of a conniving asshole who used your fragile state to get through to your broken heart and has no plans of letting you go. So when you’re fresh out of a relationship, look out for the guys who seem too eager to help you and be around you. Let yourself heal first, and when you get to a good place again, your judgement will be much better.