There is nothing worse than not knowing where you stand with someone you hope to have a committed relationship with.
It is a situation in which you are in some kind of almost relationship with someone who doesn’t want to label things just yet.
And when you ask him to make things clear, he tells you that things between the two of you are complicated. Well, here is what he is actually thinking when he tells you this.
1. I am ready for a relationship—just not with you
Yes, it is possible for someone to not be ready for a real relationship. But most times, guys use this as an excuse to be in some kind of almost relationship with you, without having to label it.
Most of the time, they justify themselves by telling you that they are emotionally unavailable right now, that they are too busy to give you the time and energy that you deserve and that they need time to make up their mind.
Well, bullshit. Whoever wants to have you in his life will make time. If you are the one, he will want to be with you at this exact time.
So when a guy tells you that he isn’t ready or that things are complicated, he is probably just telling you that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
This man is planning on keeping you around until someone more suitable for him comes along and this is never an agreement you should settle for.
Remember—you are good enough and whoever doesn’t see that doesn’t deserve to have you in his life.
2. I want sex
“It’s complicated” is another way for a guy to try and get into your pants.
It is another way to tell you that he wants casual sex, without any other obligations.
But he is aware of the fact that you wouldn’t accept something like this so he is basically giving you false hope that your relationship might rise to the next level sometime in the future.
Don’t get me wrong—there is absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with someone you are not in a real relationship with, as long as both partners want the same thing.
It is one thing if you agree on having casual sex and it is something completely different if he keeps lying to you that things will be different if you give him some more time.
3. I just want you for the good stuff
When you are in a complicated relationship, you are actually in an almost relationship. And that means that this man is just there for the good stuff.
He is there for the sex, for fun date nights, for the cuddling and everything else good that every romantic relationship brings.
But what about the bad stuff? What about the times you need him to be there for you? To hold your hand when times get rough? When you are sick or depressed?
When you need him to wipe away your tears or to accompany you to that boring family event?
Technically, he is not your official boyfriend so he doesn’t have the ‘duty’ to be around.
And he knows this very well—that is why he is insisting on having this type of relationship.
When you don’t know where you stand with your ‘boyfriend’, you simply can’t rely on that man nor can you see him as your support.
He hasn’t made you any promises and he is using that to get what he wants. He hasn’t promised to love you at your best or at your worst.
4. I want an excuse to keep seeing other girls but I also want to keep you around
A complicated relationship can’t guarantee you fidelity. Well, to be frank, nobody can guarantee that your boyfriend will never cheat on you, even when you are in a labeled relationship but in this case, there at least exists a promise of integrity.
So basically, when a guy defines your relationship as complicated, he is just looking for an excuse to sleep around and to flirt with other girls, without technically cheating on you because you are not his girlfriend.
But at the same time, he thinks you are convenient and he wants to keep you around in his life as something stable and constant.
5. I will lead you on as long as you let me
When a guy tells you that things between him and you are complicated, he is basically telling you that he plans on leading you on as long as you let him.
He is perfectly fine with everything being this way and he doesn’t plan on breaking things off unless you do it.
You are the one who has to see that you deserve more and the one who has to end things, as much as it hurts you.