Ladies, be honest. Who does more work around the baby, you or your partner? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
This new chapter is amazing and filled with joy but also full of sleepless nights and many challenges. Everything’s easier when you have a devoted man by your side who’s not afraid of dirty diapers and a little screaming creature.
Unfortunately, we still live in a world where people think that a man’s only obligation ends with making a baby. When reality slaps their face and they realize being a parent is a full-time job, they want to run away.
Women on the other hand are different types of heroes and they can endure a lot. But this mom finally reached her breaking point.
An exhausted mom complains on Reddit
A woman told her story on Reddit hoping other people would confirm her expectations weren’t unreasonable. She recently gave birth to a baby girl and was stunned by her husband’s behavior.
She began explaining his usual routine before the baby arrived:
“Before I was pregnant, he used to go to his soccer games (and, more importantly, the drinking afterward) twice per week, and he went running on Sunday and/or on his day off for hours on end. There used to be weeks when we would only see/talk to each other for a few minutes in bed.”
So, as one would expect, his wife wanted him to spend more time with her and their newborn. She wrote:
“Since I got pregnant, I asked him to scale back his soccer/drinking to once a week and to plan his runs closer to home so that he’s not gone an entire day. He reluctantly agreed after lots of fighting and drama.”
One day when he came home from work, he left after only two hours. BBQ with friends was more important to him than spending time with his family.
Since he didn’t come back until 11 p.m., she texted him saying to sleep downstairs so he wouldn’t wake her and the baby up. A seemingly small request became a big discussion. This is when he started complaining about everything.
“My husband says I’m taking away his freedom”
Her husband thought the expectations she had were unfair. She explained:
“Apparently, he believes I take away his freedom when I ask him to let me know when he will be home. He needs to ‘feel the atmosphere of the night’ before he can decide when to come home. I ask him so I at least know something so I can plan my night accordingly, but to him, that is unfair.”
But it didn’t end there. He continued complaining about how sacrificing one night a week has been hard on him. The baby’s only been with them for one week, and he’s already tired? Poor guy. She continued by writing:
“He has also said that taking care of my needs during pregnancy (so basically giving up one night of soccer and drinking) has pushed him to the edge of burnout. During pregnancy, he threatened to leave me if he would not be allowed to do whatever he wanted once the baby arrived.”
Imagine the audacity! I think the dad acts more like a baby than their actual child! Oh, what a surprise, we need to give up our free time once we have kids. Who would expect that?!
People also agreed he’s acting selfish and is not setting his priorities straight. One person commented:
“He’s behaving like this with a 3-week-old child? I’m all for parents finding a way to make both solo and couple social time happen, but the ink on that baby’s birth certificate isn’t even dry yet. Home needs to be his first priority 100% of the time right now.”
I couldn’t agree more! At this point, divorcing him now wouldn’t change anything since she’s living like a single parent either way.
However, not everyone thinks the dad is the only one wrong here. Some say that he deserves to have his free time since he’s the one working. Someone wrote:
“IN MY OPINION, you’re both wrong. He seems to work quite a bit, and he needs to take a break from that as well. However, the same courtesy needs to be applied to BOTH of you. If you are a SAHM, and/or you don’t have your own friends, you are relying on HIS interaction with you to be your social fill and that is asking for a lot from a person. He needs to do his part as a parent too, but, realistically, if you both do your part and give each other grace, you both will get your needs taken care of.”
Do you think this is fair? Because working shouldn’t be an excuse for not taking care of your family, especially in these important moments. No one wants to be tired but that’s just life. Women are often exhausted but still, no one bothers to ask them if they need a break.
Moms give away their everything and sacrifice their body, mind, and soul during 9 months of pregnancy and even after. And dads can’t let go of one night with the boys. Talk about disrespect!
While some fathers go above and beyond for their families, other men need to be reminded that they should care for their kids too (shocking, right?). Everything is easier and more fun when done in a team. And parenthood is no exception. At the end of the day, teamwork makes the dream work.
So, the next time you decide to have kids, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your expectations. You might surprised by what someone considers to be normal and reasonable.