Sometimes long-term relationships can feel stagnant with nothing new and exciting happening. Especially when it comes to marriage, it is easy to lose ourselves in daily tasks that just seem to keep piling up.
You finally come home from work, completely tired with kids screaming and dirty dishes waiting for you. House is a mess and dinner needs to be prepared. You and your partner keep running around to get everything done barely having time to hug each other.
When you finally have some free time, you are too tired to go on a date or do anything besides couch rotting, scrolling through your phones, or watching your favorite TV show. Sounds familiar?
Let’s be honest, this is actually everyday life for a lot of couples. Handling all the daily tasks (and your kids’ demanding requests) is hard enough but keeping the spark alive in your long-term relationship can be even harder.
Simple but effective marriage tip works wonders
Luckily, someone came up with an effective trick to keep your relationship alive and thriving even in busy marriages. Rachel Higgins shared her tip on TikTok and said that this simple change in their routine improved their connection instantly!
“It’s been so fun and such a game-changer for how our evenings go!” says Rachel at the beginning of the video. The so-called “Three-hour night” tip is not only effective for quality time with your partner but also for resolving your tasks for the day, so it’s a 2-in-1 package deal!
She, like many others, used to spend time with her husband in the same boring way every day – they would just scroll on their phones until they were too tired and then go to bed.
Applying “Three-hour night” to their routines helped them organize their time effectively and changed their relationship for the better.
The Three-Hour Trick
Before doing anything make sure to put your little gremlins…I mean kids into bed! The trick is to divide your evening until going to bed into three parts, each dedicated to different activities.
Don’t trick yourself into thinking it’s all fun and games, so we are starting hard with everyone’s favorite activity – cleaning! As she describes:
“We start with a quick clean up of the kitchen or just things that accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that either has been put off, like cleaning the bathroom or like organizing the pantry or hall closet, or something super random.”
She also gave an additional tip in the comments saying we should make a list of chores that need to be done throughout the week so it’s easier and quicker to decide what to do.
The second and most important part is reserved solely for them. During this time they leave their phones so they wouldn’t distract them. You can do anything that will spark the conversation or connection between you and your partner. As Rachel explains:
“That could be things like showering together or ‘having fun’ together, playing a game together, or just like anything that’s gonna get you guys talking and connecting…that’s gonna strengthen, and build your marriage.”
Don’t forget to dedicate time to yourself
The last hour of the evening is dedicated to self-care and doing whatever you want. The key to this part is not to judge each other so you can completely relax, and not worry about your other half nagging you.
A lot of people in the comments of the video had positive reactions and even admitted they have the same guilty pleasures. One user wrote:
“This is really cool. The housework is equal. The emotional connection is equal and the self-care is equal. No room for resentment.“
Others were concerned about the feasibility of doing this every night, and putting their kids to bed early. Rachel explained that although this works for them, there are no hard rules, and everyone can adjust this tip to their life. As she added in the comments:
“Main point is to inspire you to be intentional with your time if you feel stuck doing the same thing every night like we did! No hard rules.”
Keeping the spark alive isn’t always easy but it’s manageable. It’s important to keep your relationship fun but also enjoy yourself and recharge. Incorporating small things like this into your routine can spice things up, and make a huge difference!
How are you keeping your relationship dynamic? Share your tips in the comments!