Let’s be real: social rules move at lightning speed. What was normal a few years ago is suddenly cringey, or worse, a total dealbreaker. Calling out of the blue? Terrifying. Facebook pokes? Practically ancient history.
If you’re wondering if your habits are raising eyebrows, trust me, you’re not alone. I’ve had my own “Wait, that’s not okay anymore?” moments—usually while witnessing my mom leave a five-minute voicemail or watching my friend post childhood photos without asking.
We all slip up sometimes. This list isn’t about shaming but about helping you catch those little habits before your next group chat stages an intervention.
So, if you suspect you’re a little old-school (or just want a laugh), read on and see which of these 16 signs hit home. No judgment—just a little girl talk, a lot of honesty, and maybe the nudge you need to finally stop texting “k.”
1. You Call Without Texting First
Remember when a spontaneous phone call was considered sweet? Not anymore. Now, if my phone rings with no warning, I assume it’s an emergency—or my bank.
There’s something about a random call that sends people into a stress spiral. A quick text first is the new standard, almost like knocking before you open a door. Skipping this step? That’s just emotional whiplash for whoever’s on the other end.
People value their peace more than ever. Respecting that tiny bubble of privacy is a tiny act of kindness. So, next time you reach for that call button, pause for a second. A simple “Hey, can I call?” goes a long way—and just might save your friendship (or at least your reputation as a considerate human).
2. You Leave Voicemails Longer Than 10 Seconds
Long voicemails are the new carrier pigeons—nostalgic but wildly unnecessary. No one wants to wade through a three-minute saga, even if you’re recapping The Bachelor finale.
These days, most of us see a missed call and pray there’s no voicemail attached. Texts are quicker, clearer, and less likely to get deleted by accident. Plus, they let people respond in their own time.
If your message can’t be summed up in ten seconds (or better yet, a sentence), it probably needs a new format. Modern etiquette favors brevity. Save the epic storytelling for brunch or FaceTime—your friends (and their voicemail storage) will thank you.
3. You Use Periods in Texts Like You’re Ending a Business Email
A text with a period at the end feels weirdly intense. Like, why are you mad at me? “Okay.” doesn’t mean okay anymore—it reads like a silent rage.
If you’re typing out full stops after every sentence, you might not realize the message you’re sending. To Gen Z (and honestly, a lot of millennials), periods are for school essays or breakup texts, not casual chats with friends.
Soften your vibe by saving punctuation for when you actually want to draw the line. A casual “sure” feels friendlier than “sure.”—unless you really want to end a conversation. Who knew grammar could get so emotional?
4. You Double-Tap Everything… Including Sad Posts
Social media isn’t just about broadcasting your life—it’s about reading the room, too. Double-tapping a post about someone’s breakup or pet passing? Oof.
A quick like is not always the supportive gesture you think it is. Sometimes, it’s just awkward. People share tough moments for empathy, not for little red hearts. Learning when to comment, send a DM, or just quietly support matters.
It’s the digital version of giving a high five at a funeral—well-intentioned but painfully tone-deaf. Take a beat, notice the context, and offer genuine support if you can. Social finesse isn’t just offline anymore!
5. You RSVP by Calling the Host
Digital invites deserve digital replies. If someone sends you a text or e-vite, picking up the phone can feel like showing up in person to RSVP—it’s just too much.
Hosts juggle guest lists, apps, and group chats. A call interrupts their flow and can be tricky if they’re at work or wrangling kids. A quick DM, email, or tap on an app is the new polite response.
Save your phone calls for the “I’m outside!” or “Can I bring dessert?” moments. Matching the method is a subtle way of showing you’re in sync with the times. Plus, nobody likes unexpected voicemails about finger food.
6. You Overshare Personal Drama in the First 5 Minutes
Sometimes you meet someone and the urge to spill your life story is overwhelming. I get it—sharing is bonding! But unloading your relationship woes or wild medical history before you even know their last name? Yikes.
Boundaries are treasured right now. People want space to warm up and decide what they’re ready to hear. Trauma dumping in the first five minutes isn’t brave—it’s just overwhelming.
Save the deep dives for real friends or therapists. Let new connections breathe a little. You never know who’s quietly thanking you for not unpacking your emotional suitcase at their baby shower.
7. You Take Photos of People Without Asking
Candid photos are fun—until you’re the one with spinach in your teeth plastered all over Instagram. Snapping pics without checking in is a no-go these days.
Consent is everything. People want control over their image, especially online. Even if your friend looks cute, asking first is respectful (and honestly, just good manners).
It’s the difference between “aw, thanks!” and “um, can you delete that?” Nobody loves a surprise tag. Take a second, check in, and avoid being the cause of anyone’s Monday morning cringe-fest.
8. You Text “K” as a Full Response
There’s nothing quite like getting a “K” in response to your detailed message. It’s the digital shoulder shrug, and it never feels good.
To the untrained eye, it might seem quick and efficient. But trust me, it’s basically code for “I’m done talking” or “you’ve annoyed me.” If you want to be friendly or even just neutral, try “okay” or “sure”—it’s amazing how much warmer those extra two letters feel.
Tiny details in texting matter more than ever. “K” can end a conversation faster than a bad date. Don’t let lazy thumbs cost you a connection.
9. You Comment “You’ve Gained Weight!” Like It’s a Compliment
There’s an old habit of calling out physical changes as conversation starters. “You’ve gained weight!” used to mean “You look healthy!” Now? It’s a social minefield.
Bodies are not community property. Commenting on someone’s size, even with love, can land all wrong. People are more body-conscious, and compliments can sting when they’re too focused on appearance.
If you want to lift someone up, stick to how they glow, their style, or their energy. Nobody needs their reunion ruined by a backhanded compliment. Trust—it’s not the icebreaker you think it is.
10. You Assume Everyone Wants a Hug
Once upon a time, hugs were default greetings. Post-2020, personal space is the new luxury car—everyone wants it, and not everyone wants to share.
If you’re a hugger, bless your heart, but check before going in for the squeeze. Some people are still wary of close contact or just aren’t touchy-feely by nature. A simple “hug?” gives people an easy out.
Physical boundaries are a big deal now. Asking first isn’t awkward—charging in without warning definitely is. Respect the bubble, and you’ll be remembered as thoughtful, not pushy.
11. You Forward Chain Emails or Facebook Posts “Just in Case”
Chain messages were the original spam. Forwarding them “just in case” you’ll win a gift card or avoid years of bad luck? That’s yesterday’s news.
If your inbox or DMs are loaded with “urgent” posts about miracles or doom, pause. These messages clog up feeds and make you look, well, a little out of touch. Nobody wants to be caught spreading internet folklore.
Keep your messages meaningful and skip the digital chain letters. It’ll spare your reputation—and your friends’ sanity. We’ve all moved on, I promise.
12. You Expect Immediate Replies to Texts
Modern life means juggling a thousand things—and replying instantly isn’t always possible. Expecting someone to drop everything for your message? That’s a fast track to being labeled needy.
People aren’t ignoring you; they’re living. Sometimes texts get buried, or people need a break from screens. If it’s urgent, say so. Otherwise, trust that you’re on their radar.
Giving grace is the chicest accessory. Let your friends reply when they can, and use slow responses as an excuse to practice patience (or binge-watch something until they text back).
13. You Overschedule Without Considering Mental Load
Free time on the calendar doesn’t mean free-for-all. Cramming plans into every blank space can be exhausting—for you and everyone else involved.
Mental load is real. People juggle invisible to-do lists, emotional check-ins, and downtime needs. When you’re making plans, check in about energy levels, not just availability.
Asking “Is this a good week?” can mean the difference between a fun night out and a silent, resentful group chat. Consideration is the new cool. And trust me, nobody’s calendar is as empty as it looks online.
14. You Announce Big News in a Group Chat Without Warning
Dropping life-changing news in the group chat might feel efficient, but it can leave close friends feeling blindsided or lost in the shuffle.
If you’re getting engaged, pregnant, or moving across the country, let your inner circle know privately first. Major updates deserve more than a mass message and some heart emojis. A little personal touch goes a long way.
Group chats are for memes and brunch plans, not seismic shifts. Individual check-ins show you value your relationships—and save your news from getting buried under GIFs.
15. You Use Your Speakerphone in Public
Speakerphone in public is the social equivalent of clipping your toenails on the bus—everyone can hear, and nobody wants to.
Private conversations should stay private, whether you’re at the store, gym, or on the train. Bluetooth earbuds exist for a reason, and they’re your ticket to not being the unintentional star of someone else’s TikTok rant.
Keep it low-key and everyone’s ears (and nerves) will thank you. Loud phone talkers are a timeless annoyance, but in the age of tiny tech and big boundaries, there’s just no excuse anymore.
16. You Think Social Media Is an Accurate Measure of Friendship
Not being tagged or liked online doesn’t mean you’ve been exiled from the friend group. Social media is a highlight reel—not a friendship scoreboard.
Algorithms are mysterious and sometimes random. If you’re measuring your worth or your relationships by how many likes, comments, or tags you get, you’re giving Instagram way too much power over your peace of mind.
Trust the real-life connections, not the curated feeds. The people who matter show up for you in person, not just in Stories. Don’t let an app mess with your self-esteem.