I remember how I felt when I was sensing my boyfriend could be a love rat. I didn’t have any proof that he was unfaithful but my gut feeling was persistent and it never failed me. Something was wrong.
It turned out my tummy-brain was right – he had a five-month-long affair with his coworker. I was shocked when she called me to say that he was her man and I should just step out. Like it was a competition!?
I moved out the very same evening. When I came to my best friend’s apartment I called this woman to tell her she could have him and that she’s a fool to believe he won’t do the same to her. As I later discovered, he cheated on her too.
If you’re feeling doubtful about your partner’s fidelity and honesty this study can be helpful. It revealed what tactics cheaters rely on to hide their misdoings. The number goes up to 53 different tactics but I’ll tell you about some of the most common ones.
My cheating boyfriend did almost all of these things but I was blind to notice.
So watch for the subtle signs, you can spot them if you pay attention. Does your man…
1. Tries to act normal a bit too hard
Maintaining his usual routines is crucial for a cheater. So your man will avoid drastic changes in his behavior or appearance that could raise red flags. By keeping everything seemingly normal, he aims to keep his infidelity completely under the radar.
Now when I look back, yeah, he really put an effort to seem like nothing has changed for him. No wonder it’s hard to spot this one, he ensures everything seems just right.
2. You get attention overload
Suddenly, you’re the star of the show and the center of his world! Cheaters often shower their partners with extra love and care. Expect more affection, spontaneous gifts, and increased intimacy. It’s his way of saying, “Look over here, not over there!”
After months of feeling kinda neglected, I finally got all the attention I needed and felt sooo GOOD. I should have known it was a red flag.
3. He’s cool as a cucumber
The cheater plans his meet-ups meticulously, choosing times when he can easily justify his absence with a new hobby or activity. He maintains a calm look, hoping to avoid any questions from you.
During those times we were two of a kind, with no quarrels, no misunderstandings, and our relationship was a breeze.
4. Short and sweet affairs
When I found out he had been cheating, the first question that popped in my head was “When?” Apparently, cheaters are masters of time management.
To minimize risk, the cheater keeps his affairs brief and infrequent. These short flings help him avoid detection and maintain the illusion of fidelity in his primary relationship.
5. He’s in “stealth mode”
The cheater is a pro at planning discreet meet-ups. He chooses distant locations and uses excuses like work meetings or gym sessions to cover his tracks. He will ensure you never suspect a thing.
Yes, the gym, a few times I noticed his gymware in the laundry basket looked unused after training but I was too busy to think about the reasons.
6. A fortress made of passwords
Expect a sudden surge in password-protected devices and apps. The cheater locks down everything with new or changed passwords, ensuring his secret stays safe. Even when not in use, these devices are kept locked and out of sight.
He kept taking his phone with him everywhere, even when he went to take a shower. I used to know his passwords but then he said they need to be changed frequently for security reasons.
7. He uses secret gadgets
Burner phones and hidden email accounts are classic tools in a cheater’s toolbox. These devices and accounts allow him to communicate freely without the risk of being caught. It’s his way of keeping his double life hidden.
I didn’t find any of these but he probably had one and kept it hidden from me.
8. His affair has no digital trace
Cheater becomes a digital magician, making all traces of his affair vanish. He deletes messages, emails, and call logs, and is super cautious when using his devices around you. Silent mode and turning screens away are his go-to moves to keep secrets hidden.
I could not even come close to his devices so I can’t tell if my cheating boyfriend used this tactic, but it makes sense.
9. Relationship commitment facade
Despite his infidelity, the cheater works hard to seem fully invested in your relationship. He maintains consistent behavior, ensuring nothing seems out of the ordinary and keeping your suspicions at bay.
This is 100% true, my boyfriend was really committed and I was staggered to find out he was sleeping with someone else. He seemed so happy in our relationship.
10. There are mysterious new friends
When a new “friend” or “colleague” enters the picture, the cheater downplays your suspicions. He insists this person is just a harmless new member of his social circle, deflecting any concern about the true nature of their relationship.
He did have a couple of new “friends” and I was not suspicious about it.
11. He uses his new friends as an alibi
Cheater often uses friends to cover his absences, claiming to be with a buddy when he’s actually meeting his mistress. However, these friends are usually kept in the dark to prevent any slip-ups.
I thought it was normal for him to spend time with new friends, wouldn’t you think the same?
When you recall the hints, it all makes sense. Right? You can’t believe you failed to spot these signs.
Don’t feel bad, we are all too distracted and cheaters are playing it like pros. At least now you’ll know what behaviors you should pay attention to.