You know those things we all nod along to—the stuff we’re supposed to rave about at brunch or share half-hearted smiles over in group chats? Yeah, those.
Half of adulthood feels like a secret pact: don’t question the hype, don’t break the illusion. But let’s be honest—most of it is kind of the worst. So here’s to breaking the spell, just for a second.
These are the things we keep pretending are magical when really… they just make us tired, broke, or desperate for a nap. I won’t judge you for wanting out. Promise.
1. Networking Events
Picture yourself clutching a sweating cup of bad coffee, nodding politely as you swap LinkedIn handles with someone whose name you’ll forget by morning. Networking events always promise connections. Reality? You’re stuck making small talk about weather patterns with a guy who still uses a Blackberry.
There’s a weird pressure not just to attend but to seem enthusiastic. You pretend you’re “expanding your professional circle” but mostly you’re scanning for the exit or the open bar. Sometimes you get a business card, but did anyone ever actually follow up, or is this just adult trick-or-treating?
You leave with a stack of paper rectangles and the sense that maybe, just maybe, you’d have been better off staying home. Everyone is pretending. Deep down, you know it’s all one big performance. But hey, at least the shrimp cocktail was free (if a little warm).
2. Brunch
Brunch feels like a celebration of adulthood until you’re 45 minutes deep on a waitlist, hangry, and stuck between a screaming toddler and a couple arguing about the bill. The coffee is never hot enough, the eggs are always overcooked, and somehow you wound up paying $28 for pancakes you could have made at home.
Social media made brunch look like a pastel-hued, bottomless mimosa dream. The reality is noise, sticky tables, and pretending you’re not eyeing the door. You’re snapping photos for Instagram, but half your plate goes cold because you waited for “the shot.”
The truth? Most of us would rather stay in bed. Plot twist: the group selfie gives everyone something to pretend to cherish later. Brunch is a lie we all keep telling for the sake of appearances—and maybe the syrup.
3. Wine Tasting
You swirl, you sniff, you swish, and for what? Half the time, the wine tastes like “red” or “white” and you’re pretending to detect notes of leather, cherry, or whatever the host just said. No one wants to admit they’d rather just have a glass of whatever’s cold and cheap.
It’s an odd kind of performance art, especially when the sommelier is watching. You nod thoughtfully as if you understand why this pinot is “playful” and that cabernet is “bold.” No one dares to say, “Honestly, they all taste kind of the same.”
You leave wine tastings with a headache and a lighter wallet, wondering if you’ll ever use those tasting notes again. Spoiler: you won’t. It’s all just for show, and everyone’s in on it—just no one wants to say it out loud.
4. Camping
There’s always one friend who swears camping “recharges the soul.” Maybe for some, but for the rest of us, it’s bug spray, cold feet, and the constant threat of rain soaking your only dry socks. Why are we pretending the ground is comfortable?
You wake up sore, craving real coffee and a working toilet. The “peaceful” silence is ruined by raccoons rummaging in your snacks and the distant honking of a truck at 3am. Every Instagram post filters out the discomfort and the mosquito bites.
The stories you tell later are always funnier than the reality. Still, you pack your car and do it again, chasing the version of camping you see on Pinterest. Maybe next time, you’ll actually have fun—or maybe you’ll just wish for WiFi.
5. Reality TV
There’s nothing quite like sinking into the couch and “watching” reality TV—except you’re also scrolling TikTok and wondering why you even started this show. The drama feels manufactured, the contestants all seem to be acting, and the only real suspense is how long until you switch to something else.
Yet, you still bring up last night’s episode at work or in group texts, pretending you’re invested. Why? Because everyone else is doing it. It’s social currency, not entertainment.
Deep down, you’d rather watch a documentary or just…not watch. But the pull of being “in the know” keeps you going. Someday, maybe we’ll all admit it’s just background noise for folding laundry.
6. Group Travel
Group travel seems like the answer to loneliness, until you’re herded through crowded streets behind a guide carrying a neon flag. You spend half the trip waiting for someone to find a bathroom or arguing over dinner plans. There’s always one person who insists on seeing “just one more church.”
You catch yourself daydreaming about wandering off alone. But you stick with the group because breaking away feels rude. In every group, there’s at least one secret introvert regretting every group selfie.
You get home with photos where everyone is smiling, but the best moments were the ones you snuck off on your own. The group memory? Mostly about compromise. Next time, you tell yourself, it’ll just be you and a good book.
7. Fancy Coffee Orders
Somewhere along the way, a regular cup of coffee became basic. Now you’re supposed to order something with oat milk, three pumps of lavender, and a dusting of cinnamon. Sometimes it feels like you need a translator just to get caffeine.
You order the trendy drink, mostly so you don’t look clueless. Secretly, you long for the old days—a plain, strong cup, no frills or filters. The line behind you is full of the same anxious energy: everyone is winging it.
You snap a photo of your five-dollar latte, post it online, and pretend it tastes magical. But half the time, you’re still tired. The performance continues, and everyone is too polite to say they just want coffee that tastes like coffee.
8. Overly Sweet Desserts
The desserts look like edible rainbows—double-decker cakes, neon cupcakes, cookies dipped in so much frosting they’re barely edible. You know you’ll get a toothache after the first bite, but you smile and say it’s “delicious” anyway.
There’s a pressure to love these sugary monstrosities. You compliment the host, cut a giant piece, and take a photo. Secretly, you wish for something less…overwhelming. Even the kids are bouncing off the walls from the sugar.
You scrape half into the trash and hope no one notices. People nod and say it’s amazing, but everyone’s thinking about salad. There’s comfort in admitting sometimes—less is more, even when it comes to dessert.
9. Watching Sports
There’s always that moment when everyone cheers—and you fake it, hoping your delayed reaction doesn’t give you away. Maybe sports bring people together, but not everyone cares who wins. You memorize player names just to survive the conversation.
It’s easier to pretend than admit you’d rather be anywhere else. Social pressure is a powerful thing. You smile, nod, and try not to ask too many questions.
Half the time, you’re just there for the snacks and company. The game is background noise, and nobody seems to notice you’re googling “What is a touchdown?” under the table.
10. Hosting Big Holiday Gatherings
Every holiday movie makes it look magical—tables overflowing with food, laughter echoing through the house. In reality, you’re running between the kitchen and the living room, worrying if the turkey is dry or the pie is burning. Half your guests showed up late and the rest brought their own drama.
You plaster on a smile and accept compliments you’re not sure you deserve. Deep down, you’re mentally tallying the cleanup. The joy is real, but so is the exhaustion.
People post about the perfect gathering, but no one shares the moment they locked themselves in the bathroom just to breathe. On occasion, the best part of hosting is when everyone finally leaves and you get your house back.
11. Going to the Gym
Let’s be honest—most of us don’t love the gym. The mirrors, the grunting, the smell of rubber mats—it’s all a little much. You show up, do the same routine, and pretend you’re chasing some fitness high.
Some people genuinely love it, but most are there because they feel they have to be. You count the minutes until you can leave. The guilt of skipping is worse than the workout itself.
You scroll past gym selfies online and wonder if everyone else is faking it too. We keep up the act, but some days, the sofa looks like the ultimate personal trainer.
12. Cruises
Cruises promise adventure, but feel like being stuck in a floating mall with too many strangers. There’s always a line for everything—buffet, pool, elevator. The schedule is packed and you keep losing track of your room key.
You smile for the photos, but secretly you feel trapped. The sea air is nice, but after two days, the novelty wears off and the crowded chaos sets in. You wonder if you’d have more fun reading on a quiet beach.
Cruise memories look better in pictures than real life. Most people are just pretending to have the time of their lives—because admitting otherwise sounds ungrateful.
13. Drinking IPAs
IPAs are everywhere—menus, breweries, backyard parties. You feel silly ordering something else, so you go along. The first sip is always a shock; it tastes like someone put grapefruit peel in your drink and called it a day.
You watch friends describe “floral notes” and “hoppy character” as you try not to grimace. The peer pressure is real; no one wants to be the one who doesn’t “get” it. You nod along and take tiny sips, hoping no one notices.
Some people truly adore IPAs. For the rest, it’s a badge of social belonging. Maybe someday, we’ll all admit we prefer something that doesn’t taste like a pine tree.
14. LinkedIn
LinkedIn is the ultimate humble-brag stage. You scroll through endless announcements of promotions and “exciting new chapters.” It’s exhausting pretending to cheer for people you barely know.
Everyone’s profile is a highlight reel, so you’re forced to join the parade or risk seeming unambitious. Secretly, you wish you could just be honest—that sometimes, professional life is boring, confusing, or just plain hard.
We all hit “like” and move on. No one posts about missing out on jobs or feeling stuck. LinkedIn is a game of appearances; most of us are just playing along.
15. Hustle Culture
“Rise and grind” they say, as if never sleeping is a virtue. Hustle culture rewards burnout, turning exhaustion into some kind of twisted achievement. You brag about being busy, but you’d trade it all for a nap and a day off.
We post about working late, but no one admits how often we cry in the bathroom or eat dinner at our desks. The grind is glorified, but most of us are just surviving. Deep down, we know it’s unsustainable.
Everyone’s pretending to love the chaos. But sometimes, the bravest thing is just admitting you’re tired. There’s nothing noble about running on empty.
16. Commuting
People say they “miss the commute” when working from home, but the truth is, no one misses standing in a crowded subway car at 7am. The jostling, the delays, the stale air—it’s a daily ordeal we all pretend to tolerate.
You zone out with a podcast or stare out the window, counting the stops. At times you catch your reflection and wonder how this became normal. No one talks, everyone pretends this is just how life works.
We post about quirky train moments, but deep down, we wish teleportation was real. Commuting isn’t romantic. It’s just another thing we all act like is fine.