Marriage: a beautiful blend of messy love, laughter, and, yes, some inevitable changes. And guess what? Some things just don’t make the cut anymore—and that’s okay! It’s like swapping a pair of too-tight stilettos for your favorite comfy sneakers.
When you’ve found your person, life gets a little more real and a lot less about keeping up appearances. Gone are the days of trying to fit into someone else’s mold. Here’s the ultimate list of what women often leave behind post ‘I do’.
Embrace the freedom, the authenticity, and the occasional messy bun. This is queen-level living, and it feels so good. So, grab your coffee, girl, because we’re about to spill the tea on what really matters.
1. Trying to look perfect 24/7
We’ve all been there—the endless cycle of perfect contouring, hair that laughs in the face of humidity, and the unyielding Spanx squeezing the life out of us. But marriage, oh sweet marriage, is like throwing that beauty regimen out the window and embracing the pure joy of messy buns and pajamas.
With love comes comfort, and comfort doesn’t need a face full of makeup. It’s a revelation! The freedom to let your hair down (literally) and embrace the glorious imperfection of just being you. Who knew that a relationship could feel like a soft pair of sweatpants?
The days of trying to appear flawless every single second are replaced with genuine smiles and the kind of laughter that makes your mascara run. And guess what? It’s absolutely beautiful.
2. Painful shoes
Remember those days when stilettos were practically glued to your feet? Neither do I, because once you’re in a loving marriage, stilettos become an occasional spectacle, not a daily burden. If your partner adores you whether you’re decked out or in your comfiest sweatpants, why torture your feet?
It’s all about the joy, not the pain. Those sky-high heels are traded for flats and sneakers that let you dance through life without any blisters. After all, painful shoes should never stand in the way of a spontaneous adventure with your loved one.
The freedom to choose comfort over fashion becomes a sweet testament to the ease that comes with being truly loved. And when you do decide to wear those heels? It’s entirely on your terms.
3. Overthinking every text message
Ah, the days of stressing between ‘hey’ and ‘heyy’—who needs that kind of pressure? Marriage brings with it a new level of straightforward communication. No more decoding text messages as if they are ancient hieroglyphs. It’s all about saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
The endless analysis of tone, emoji choice, and punctuation becomes a thing of the past. Instead, you find joy in the simplicity of sharing memes or planning dinner. There’s a beautiful ease in knowing that your partner just gets it.
Whether it’s a quick ‘love you’ or laughing at a shared joke, the freedom of clear, honest communication is yours to enjoy. Goodbye, overthinking; hello, simplicity! And let’s face it, it’s incredibly refreshing.
4. Shrinking yourself to be more likable
Once upon a time, I might have tried to blend into the background, muting my opinions to fit in. But not anymore. Marriage is where you find someone who loves you for your quirks, opinions, and all the volume that comes with it.
You grow into your fullest self, realizing that you don’t need to downplay your fabulousness to make someone else comfortable. It’s about celebrating your individuality, knowing you’re appreciated just as you are. Now, you can boldly voice your opinions and stand your ground, without second-guessing.
It’s liberating to know you have a partner who embraces all of you—flaws, loud laughter, and everything in between. So, stand tall, speak up, and ditch the shrinking act. You’re meant to shine!
5. Pretending to be into things just to impress someone
Let’s talk about the days of feigning interest in things like football or EDM just to seem cool. Thank goodness, those days are over! Marriage isn’t about putting on a show; it’s about sharing genuine interests. When you ditch the facade, you discover the beauty of mutual hobbies and honest preferences.
Whether it’s a quiet book club or an adventurous hiking trip, you do what truly makes you happy. Marriage gives you the confidence to drop the act and embrace authenticity. No more performing, just being real.
Your likes and dislikes are celebrated, not scrutinized. So go ahead, skip the games and dive into what brings you true joy. Your partner will love you for being genuinely, unapologetically you.
6. Tolerating bad dates or weird compliments
Gone are the days of awkward dinners and cringe-worthy pickup lines. Marriage means leaving behind those strange compliments like, “You’re different for a woman.” Seriously, can we not? With the right partner, you’re valued for who you truly are, without the need for bizarre flattery.
You no longer feel the need to nod politely through uncomfortable encounters. Instead, you embrace a world where genuine compliments and mutual respect reign supreme. The best part? You learn that being alone is infinitely better than enduring a bad date.
Your self-worth skyrockets, and you realize you deserve nothing less than sincere admiration. So, farewell to the awkwardness and hello to a life where your value is never in question. You’ve earned it.
7. Spending a fortune on “first date” outfits
Remember the pressure of finding the perfect first date outfit? Now, those days are behind us. When your person already thinks you’re stunning in sweatpants, there’s no need to break the bank on outfits that scream, ‘notice me!’ You find joy in the comfort of your favorite clothes, knowing that love isn’t sewn into a fancy dress.
This newfound freedom means your wardrobe reflects who you really are, not who you’re trying to impress. A simple tee and jeans become a testament to your authentic self.
The best part? The money once spent on sparkly shoes and overpriced dresses now goes toward experiences and memories. So, embrace your comfy clothes and let go of the pressure to dazzle through fashion. Love shines brighter anyway!
8. Trying to be “on” all the time
Once, I thought I needed to be the life of the party all the time—endlessly witty, charming, and bubbly. But marriage taught me that it’s perfectly okay to just be. Sometimes you’re tired, sometimes you’re quiet, and sometimes you just want to binge-watch your favorite show in peace.
The beauty of a loving relationship is that you’re accepted in every state. There’s no need for the constant energy or showmanship. Instead, you find comfort in the natural ebb and flow of life, knowing your partner loves you at your most chilled-out self.
It’s incredibly freeing to let your guard down and just exist. So, let go of the exhausting need to always be “on.” Embrace the calm and be loved for who you are.
9. Pretending you don’t fart, burp, or have body hair
The days of pretending you’re some flawless, hairless, mythical creature are over. Let’s be real—everyone farts, burps, and has body hair. And guess what? It’s perfectly normal! Marriage brings a level of comfort where you can finally be yourself, embracing all the human quirks without shame.
The beauty of a genuine relationship is the freedom to be natural, knowing you’re loved regardless. No more sneaking off to powder your nose or meticulously hiding any signs of human imperfection. Your partner sees the real you, and it’s a wonderful feeling.
Embrace the laughter and the reality of just being human. It’s incredibly refreshing and, dare I say, liberating. So let go of the pretense and enjoy the freedom of being unapologetically you.
10. Comparing your relationship to Instagram couples
We’ve all scrolled through perfectly curated Instagram feeds, secretly comparing our lives to those idealized moments. But marriage teaches you to see beyond the filters and appreciate the raw, unfiltered beauty of your own relationship.
Perfectly posed brunch photos can’t compete with the joy of lazy Sunday mornings spent in bed with your love. When the pressure to live up to social media standards fades, you find a deeper appreciation for what truly matters. Real love isn’t always picture-perfect, and that’s the charm of it.
You learn to cherish your own journey, filled with the ups, downs, and everything in between. So, close the app and embrace the wonderfully imperfect reality that is your love story. It’s a refreshing perspective to hold.
11. Chasing people who don’t reciprocate
The freedom of not chasing after people who can’t be bothered to reciprocate is a revelation. Marriage opens your eyes to the beauty of mutual effort and genuine connection. You realize that you no longer need to run after those who don’t see your worth. Instead, you embrace relationships where effort is a two-way street.
It’s empowering to recognize your value and know that you deserve someone who gives as much as they receive. Gone are the days of one-sided affection. You’re all about building a life with someone who truly understands and appreciates you.
This perspective shift brings peace and fulfillment, knowing you’re surrounded by genuine love and respect. So, walk away from what doesn’t serve you. You’re worth it.
12. Letting passive-aggressive comments slide
Once, I might have let subtle digs and passive-aggressive comments slide, smiling through gritted teeth. But not anymore! Marriage teaches you the power of direct communication. You learn to speak your mind, addressing issues head-on rather than letting them fester.
It’s incredibly refreshing to embrace honesty and openness, knowing your partner values the same. Letting go of the need to keep the peace at the expense of your feelings is liberating. Direct is the new polite, and you realize that true love supports real conversations.
You foster an environment where expressing your thoughts is celebrated, not stifled. So, next time someone throws shade, feel free to address it with grace and authenticity. Your voice matters, and it’s time to use it.
13. Pretending you’re okay when you’re not
Raise your hand if you’re guilty of saying, ‘I’m fine,’ when you’re anything but. Marriage is a safe space to ditch the emotional tightrope and embrace honest, grown-up conversations. You learn that it’s okay to express vulnerability and seek support.
It’s freeing to know you have a partner who’s there for you, ready to listen and understand. The days of bottling up emotions and putting on a brave face are over. Instead, you welcome the security of open dialogue, knowing it strengthens your bond.
Emotional honesty is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, and you thrive in an environment where your true feelings matter. So, let go of the facade and embrace the truth. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to pretend to be.
14. Cooking to impress—not to nourish
Back in the day, I might have attempted a culinary masterpiece to win someone over. But marriage shifts the focus from impressing to nourishing. You find joy in cooking meals that are simple, delicious, and filled with love.
The pressure to create an Instagram-worthy dish fades away, replaced by the satisfaction of shared meals and laughter in the kitchen. Your partner appreciates the effort, not the presentation, and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s about creating memories over the dinner table, not performing a cooking show.
You cook what you love, eat what you crave, and skip the fuss. Embrace the freedom to enjoy food for what it truly is—a source of nourishment and connection. So, let go of the pressure and savor the simple joys of cooking.
15. Going to events just to “be seen”
Remember the days of attending every event just to make an appearance? Those days are behind us. When you’re in a loving marriage, you realize the beauty of quality time spent with your partner. The need to network or be seen fades away, replaced by the joy of staying in and enjoying each other’s company.
You learn that you don’t have to be everywhere to be valued. An intimate night at home, binge-watching your favorite show or playing board games, becomes infinitely more appealing than a crowded social event.
You cherish the moments of togetherness, knowing they’re far more fulfilling than any networking brunch. So, skip the obligatory outings and embrace the comfort of home. Your relationship is your safe haven, and it’s perfectly enough.
16. Toxic friendships
Let’s talk about friendships that drain you. Marriage helps you see the value of surrounding yourself with positivity. You realize that toxic friendships have no place in your life. The energy once spent on maintaining draining connections is redirected toward nurturing relationships that truly matter.
You learn to invest in friendships that uplift and support you, rather than those that leave you feeling drained. Marriage brings clarity—showing you that quality trumps quantity every time. The peace that comes with letting go of negativity is unparalleled.
You prioritize your well-being and happiness, knowing it’s a gift to yourself and your partner. So, take a step back, evaluate your circle, and embrace the freedom of healthy connections. Your happiness is worth the shift, and your life will flourish because of it.
17. Hustling for validation
The hustle for external validation becomes a distant memory once you’re in a loving marriage. You learn that being loved for who you are—not what you do—teaches you to stop chasing approval. It’s about embracing self-worth and knowing you’re enough, just as you are.
The endless pursuit of accolades and validation fades when you’re anchored in a relationship where love isn’t conditional. You find joy in being appreciated for your true self, rather than a curated persona. This realization allows you to focus on what genuinely matters, like personal growth and shared experiences.
The pressure to hustle and prove yourself loses its grip, freeing you to live authentically. So, let go of the chase and embrace self-acceptance. You’re truly deserving of love and happiness.
18. Playing games to “keep it interesting”
Remember the days of playing hard to get or dropping hints to keep things spicy? Those games lose their appeal in a mature relationship. Marriage is about honesty, transparency, and deep connection. You realize that you don’t need mystery or manipulation to keep the spark alive.
Instead, you crave genuine conversations, laughter, and shared dreams. It’s refreshing to drop the pretense and embrace authenticity. Your relationship thrives on mutual trust and understanding, leaving no room for games. This newfound openness is far sexier than any game ever could be.
You build a partnership where being real is the ultimate aphrodisiac. So, set aside the mind games and embrace the beauty of being wholeheartedly yourself. Your love flourishes in the truth, and it’s a wonderful thing.
19. Settling for less than what feels like home
No more settling for relationships that don’t feel like home. Marriage teaches you the importance of finding a love that offers comfort, safety, and warmth. You realize that you deserve a partner who feels like the coziest blanket on a chilly evening. Gone are the days of compromising on what truly matters.
You build a life where you feel cherished and understood, where you can be your most authentic self. The peace of knowing you’re exactly where you belong is unparalleled.
You find strength in a relationship that feels like a sanctuary—a place where you’re valued, respected, and loved unconditionally. So, hold onto that feeling of home, knowing it’s the foundation of a fulfilling life. You’ve come so far, and it’s a triumph worth celebrating.