Looking for the best pieces of marriage advice that will help you secure a happy marriage? Of course, you are, because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here, right?
That’s good because it means that you care about your marriage and everything stems from the desire for improvement. Now, I’ll have to potentially disappoint you by reminding you that there isn’t one recipe or a strict set of rules for a successful marriage.
In other words, you can’t just learn all the “marriage rules” by heart and implement them overnight into your relationship. I’m aware that we live in modern times that force us to use instant solutions, but marriage is not one of those things.
Marriage requires constant work on different aspects of it such as communication, compromising, building and maintaining trust, etc. 24/7 happy marriages, aka happily ever after, don’t exist, and every union is individual requiring a different approach.
So, the best thing you can do for your marriage is to learn to navigate through different aspects of your relationship in a healthy way and apply the guidelines that work best for YOU. This is exactly what we’re going to do today.
Below you’ll find all you need to know about marriage principles, 5 love languages, ultimate marriage tips, fixing a broken marriage (and when to end one).
To wrap it all up in an uplifting tone, we’ll also dive into funny marriage advice for newlyweds and marriage advice quotes. Ready, steady, go!
What Are The 5 Principles Of Marriage?
Before we switch to marriage principles, I have the urge to remind you of the following: Every couple is bound to go through ups and downs.
Establishing a healthy and happy marriage is not about reaching perfection. It’s about constant learning and evolving as a couple.
Every couple should redirect their energy into learning how to get rid of toxic patterns, be more flexible, compromise, and build and maintain trust.
A healthy marriage is a house that is built on strong pillars, while an unhealthy marriage doesn’t have a strong foundation. With that being said, here are the five pillars of marriage that are crucial for forming a strong union between spouses:
Love is the cornerstone of a lasting marriage. It’s all about “you and me against the rest of the world.” It’s about deep unity between two souls.
Love is patient and kind. It is reciprocal and selfless.
Loving your spouse is more than just saying I love you or making their day with emotional love quotes. It’s about the little things happening on a daily basis and priceless moments of unconditional love.
“Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the very best in people. But it takes time and patience.” – Stephen R. Covey
The above quote about broken trust serves as an intro that the second pillar of a strong marriage is (and should be) trust. Both partners need to be able to trust one another completely when it comes to everything.
Happy couples know that a good marriage cannot be built without trust. Why? Because where there is no trust, there is no love, respect, understanding, or faith.
All these pillars are interconnected, and they play an important role in marriage.
A relationship devoid of trust is prone to outbursts of jealousy, passive-aggressive behaviors, and other toxic elements that slowly but surely destroy the union between spouses.
Without mutual respect, partners feel devalued. When that happens, their marriage starts to decay. That is why every healthy relationship is based on trust and respect (and every relationship expert will confirm that).
If you respect your spouse, then you won’t say bad things about them behind their back and won’t make them feel less worthy. You respect their opinions, and you’re ready to compromise.
Respect should always be present from the first year of marriage to the last. Partners who value one another don’t struggle to deal with problems and express their feelings in a healthy way.
Understanding each other’s goals, relationship goals, and differences is the key to forming a harmonious union. Without understanding, there is no respect and vice versa.
Being able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes is a prerequisite to non-judgmental behavior.
Understanding in marriage encompasses so many things, such as learning your partner’s love languages, respecting their preferences, life choices, and so on.
It means understanding that your marriage is not perfect, and it will never be, but you will never stop trying to be the best you can be for one another.
In this context, faith is defined as complete trust and confidence in your spouse and your marriage. It’s that feeling of something larger than yourself – the feeling of belonging with your body, mind, and soul to another human being.
Without faith, you cannot experience marriage as a divine unity. This can be faith in God, faith in better days, your strength, and devotion.
As long as you believe in your marriage, you won’t think of destroying things with toxic behaviors. Faith is one of the most powerful forces in the universe because it’s driven by your positive thoughts.
What Are The 3 Most Important Things In A Marriage?
These are the three most important things in a marriage:
A great marriage is based on a mutual desire to commit to one another in every aspect of your lives. Commitment is more than just deciding to stay together (and “tolerate” one another) for a long time.
It’s about making the relationship last, thinking of new ways to improve things, and being invested all the time, not only when it’s convenient for you.
Love is what connects two souls and serves as a promise that you’ll always be there for each other no matter what happens.
True love means putting the needs of your partner first and selflessly giving without expecting anything in return. When both partners are wired that way, reciprocity is established.
Making your partner feel validated and respected, expressing love in creative ways, and listening to one another are also important things in a marriage. Other elements that are essential in marriage are patience, communication, trust, intimacy, a sense of humor, and empathy.
What Is The 5 Love Languages?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 main types of love languages that people speak. They are explained in his book The 5 Love Languages, written in 1992. Before he wrote the book, he spent years evaluating different couples he was counseling.
He came to the conclusion that partners greatly misunderstood each other and their needs. That is how he discovered these 5 love languages:
1. Words of affirmation
As the name implies, the words of affirmation love language is all about expressing your feelings through spoken words, appreciation, and praise.
2. Quality time
The emphasis of this love language is on undivided attention. We live in a world where putting down our smartphones requires lots of effort and will. Moments of deep eye contact are rare or non-existent in relationships.
People with the quality time love language feel loved if their partner is present and focused on them. This means actively listening, looking each other in the eye, and focusing on being in the moment.
3. Physical touch
People with this love language express and understand love through physical affection, aka physical touch. This includes lovemaking, holding hands, massage, touching their arm in an affectionate way, and so on.
Lots of cuddling is also included. A person with the physical touch love language just wants to be close to their partner and feel their warmth and affection.
4. Acts of service
This love language revolves around doing little things (acts of service) for your partner. It could be just about anything, from helping them wash the dishes to taking out the trash.
A person with this love language also prefers showing their affection through little things, various tasks, and household chores. If your partner speaks this love language, remember to do nice things for them, and they’ll understand the depth of your ultimate love.
5. Receiving gifts
People with the receiving gifts love language feel loved if their partner showers them with gifts. But, don’t get me wrong. The emphasis is not primarily on gifts or how expensive they are but on the time and effort the gift giver put into it.
This love language is primarily based on the appreciation of what’s behind the gift. Look at it this way.
When you take time to choose a perfect gift for your loved one (or you give them a DIY gift), it means that you’re determined to make them feel special. It means that you really know their preferences.
Every single gift for them is a keepsake, regardless of whether it is something seemingly trivial or something extravagant.
REMEMBER: Learning to speak your partner’s love language will make them feel loved and appreciated. The same thing applies to them.
The Best Marriage Tips Every Couple Should Follow
If you want to form a happy or happier marriage, then it’s logical that you’ll have to incorporate some ‘ground rules’ into your relationship.
Every marriage is unique with its own challenges but what should be common to all of them is the healthy amount of effort that needs to be invested.
Every couple has a choice to fight for their marriage and keep looking for ways to make things interesting. If they are willing to invest themselves, their marriage will last.
With that being said, here are some of the best pieces of advice for married couples:
- Love each other unconditionally.
- Express gratitude for both big things and little things.
- Always be available when your partner calls you, texts you, or simply needs you.
- Spending time together should be a priority (but don’t overdo it).
- Maintain connections outside the marriage as well.
- Spice your everyday life with a sense of humor.
- Understand that arguments are not about “winning” or “losing.”
- Compromise when it comes to the bedroom and other things in your marriage.
- Motivate one another to be the best you can be.
- Don’t keep secrets from your spouse.
- Don’t judge each other but communicate in a healthy way.
- When you’ve made a mistake, seek forgiveness.
- Be patient with one another (especially during tough times).
- Never talk badly about your spouse behind their back.
- Don’t give ultimatums to one another.
- Be flexible.
- Don’t succumb to the temptation to hold grudges.
- Establish boundaries.
- Always be willing to learn and grow.
- Never stop going on date nights or seeking adventures.
- Give each other space.
- Remind yourself about the good times often.
- Embrace changes and compromise.
Please keep in mind that the list above shouldn’t be treated only as a set of rules that need to be followed blindly if you want your marriage to succeed.
These are just basic things every married couple should pay attention to, and they have every right to add new elements to it or exclude them.
However, you can’t exclude some important things like compromising or giving each other space because, without it, chances are your marriage won’t function.
How To Fix A Broken Marriage
Here’s the ultimate truth: Life is hard and married life is no exception. Once you tie the knot, you enter the zone of problems with in-laws (and other family members), exes, kids, bills, bank accounts, trust issues, different types of infidelity, you name it.
Then, one day, you wake up and realize you’re in a legit nightmare that others call marriage. No, I’m just trying to make things less serious with a little bit of humor, so I hope I made you laugh. If I didn’t, then keep reading.
So, how do you fix a broken marriage? Wait, is it even possible to fix a marriage that is, let’s say, dysfunctional?
A straightforward yes. CLICHE ALERT: It is possible to fix a broken marriage if both partners are willing to work on it. So, how do you do it?
First, you need to evaluate your marriage. This means targeting any issues that are the cause of your disbalance in a relationship.
Signs of an unhappy marriage
To help you understand where your marriage stands, here are some of the main indicators of an unhappy marriage:
- Lack of intimacy and affection
- You no longer enjoy spending time together
- Lack of healthy communication
- Lack of trust and respect
- Constant criticizing and defensiveness
- Ignoring one another
- Feeling lonely and hurt in your marriage
You know your marriage is no longer in the healthy zone if you feel like you’re no longer the best friends you used to be. You no longer prioritize each other’s needs, but there’s a huge gap between the two of you, both physically and mentally. However, not all hope is lost.
What to do
Here are some things you can do that can help you fix your marriage:
- Take a look at your behaviors and your marriage in general.
- Target any potential issues (trust issues, marriage boredom, etc.).
- Commit to changing your behavior.
- Talk about your marriage problems with your spouse.
- Listen to one another and offer solutions for your problems.
- Make a list of things that you would want to change in your marriage.
- Spend quality time together and re-connect.
If all else fails, you can always seek help from a licensed marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, or the help of any other professional that you might need.
Remember to work on your bad habits and deal with marriage issues straight away instead of letting them create a huge gap between the two of you.
Happy marriages are about investing in your well-being, taking care of each other, and being teammates instead of enemies.
When To End A Marriage
Now, let’s be honest with ourselves. Thinking about ending a marriage doesn’t happen all of a sudden because this is a mental process that lasts for some time until it escalates.
It starts with feelings of hatred toward your wife or husband, trust issues, and other marital problems. Medium claims that contemptuous behavior is the number one predictor of divorce. This includes name-calling, sarcasm, eye-rolling, and all types of disrespect.
It’s when you can’t think of one single reason you should stay with your spouse. You no longer see them as the person they used to be.
Your marriage changed, and so did you, but is this the reason to end things between the two of you? Deciding to end a marriage is not an easy decision, but sometimes it’s inevitable and the best thing to do.
If your answer is yes to the majority (or all) of the following questions, then you should consider ending your marriage:
- You aren’t in love any longer.
- You don’t see yourself with them in the future.
- You’re thinking of having an affair.
- You’re in love with someone else.
- You or your partner are having an emotional affair or a physical affair.
- You refuse to compromise or apologize when needed.
- You’re not mutually invested in fixing your marriage.
- You or your partner aren’t willing to go to couples therapy (or the therapy isn’t working).
- You feel drained.
Keep in mind that ending a marriage should be the last resort. Why? Because ending something and ditching people is the easiest thing you can do, but fighting for it is the hardest and totally worth it if your marriage still has potential.
Now, you may think: But how do I know if my marriage still has potential?
If you still genuinely love each other, you’ll be willing to do anything to make your relationship work. If you don’t, you’ll make excuses or try to find happiness elsewhere.
So, what will it be? As always, the choice is yours.
The 10 Best Marriage Advice Quotes
Successful marriages are built for the long haul. Every day brings new challenges that either strengthen or weaken your marriage. It’s up to you which outcome will prevail.
If you’re teammates, the balance will be guaranteed, and with it, a happy marriage. Here are a few pieces of relationship advice for married couples:
1. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
2. “Make your faith a priority. Pray with each other and for each other. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.” – Unknown
3. “A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.” – Fawn Weaver
4. “The secret to a happy marriage is if you can be at peace with someone within four walls, if you are content because the one you love is near to you, either upstairs or downstairs, or in the same room, and you feel that warmth that you don’t find very often, then that is what love is all about.” – Bruce Forsyth
5. “A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” – Pearl S. Buck
6. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham
7. “Marriage stands the test of time when both you and your spouse work towards making things better. And we are tested the most when we face adversities. If you can sail through the adversities as one, as a team, then you have won half the battle.” – Unknown
8. “The great marriages are partnerships. It can’t be a great marriage without being a partnership.” – Helen Mirren
9. “A husband and wife may disagree on many things, but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.” – Unknown
10. “So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.” – Nicholas Sparks
13 Funny Pieces Of Marriage Advice For Newlyweds
Laughter has always been the best remedy for everything, including marriage. If you haven’t laughed in a while (and the possibility of that is really high if you’re married), then I might have something in store for you.
Joking aside, if you’re married, you’re probably laughing every day either because you’re happy or unhappy. Okay, I’ll stop. Here is the essential list of funny marriage advice for newlyweds based on everyday life experiences that every couple should read at least once:
1. “If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.” – Unknown
2. “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel de Montaigne
3. “A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.” – Anne Taylor Fleming
4. “The most important words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’” – Unknown
5. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them; never be proud of your choices, your wife is one of them.” – Unknown
6. “Our secret to a happy marriage? Two words: separate bathrooms.” – Alex and Rose DeMarco
7. “Listening to your wife is like reading the terms & conditions of a website. You understand nothing, but still, you say: ‘I Agree!'” – Unknown
8. “Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” – François de La Rochefoucauld
9. “If at first, you don’t succeed..try doing it the way your wife told you.” – Unknown
10. “Marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match.” – Unknown
11. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
12. “Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot anymore.” – Unknown
13. “Welcome to the dangerous world of married life. It‘s too late to repent! Have an amazing journey!” – Unknown
Forming a strong marriage is a day-to-day process where pieces of marriage advice serve as reminders that a healthy relationship requires constant maintenance.
It’s impossible to just decide that from today you’ll be in a happy marriage and then invest little or no effort in making that happen. Determination, persistence, and patience are your best friends when it comes to marriage.
Also, at the end of the day, what matters is that you still love each other. Without love and genuine affection, there is no healthy and happy union. I also say that without a laugh, there is no optimism (how witty, right?).
So, let’s sum it all up with one of the most hilarious jokes about a husband and wife:
A couple is sitting in their living room, sipping wine.
Out of the blue, the wife says, “I love you.”
“Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband.
“It’s me,” says the wife. “Talking to the wine.”
Cheers, my dear reader!