Uncertainty is a fact of life – it’s something that’s inherent in our day-to-day and unavoidable. Even if you try to control as much as possible, there will still be some unexpected twists and turns. This is why it’s so important to remain adaptable, especially when you begin a new relationship.
There is a lot of uncertainty in the beginning of a new partnership when you’re still getting to know each other. Just as you have your own set of goals, wishes, and dreams, your partner is just as complex. You don’t have to agree on everything. The important thing is to get to know the other person and see if their set of values is aligned with yours in a way that’s compatible in the long run.
This means different things to different people – it all depends on your individual upbringing and perspective on life. Maybe it’s important to you to meet a family man who your parents approve of or someone who integrates well into your group of friends. Maybe he needs to be funny, spontaneous or have everything well-planned out. There is no right or wrong way to be – rather, there are things that are right or wrong for a potential relationship.
If you love to travel but your new man is a homebody, then the bond is not likely to work. If you love going to the gym but he hates the thought of exercise gear, it’s not likely to last. Find someone who gets you and who you get.
Of course, there will inevitably be things about each other that differ. No two people are exactly alike. And, this is where adaptability comes in. If the union is worth it to you and vice versa, you two can agree to disagree on certain subjects and still make it work.
So, don’t get too hung up on reveling over your similarities that you discount the importance of your differences. If you were one hundred percent the same at every level, you would likely be pretty bored anyway. It’s the differences that keep life interesting. Those things your partner loves that you haven’t had a chance to experience will keep you growing and involving.
Adaptably will keep you from stagnating. Sometimes change can be scary. It can be difficult. But these are the very things that make it worth your while. If it were easy, there would be no point in experiencing change at all.
When you enter into a new partnership, keep an open mind. The first thing your partner says or does that’s unfamiliar or you disagree with, communicate your perspective and talk through it. Remember, too, that just as you would not want to do everything your mate suggests, he’s not likely to want to do everything you like to either. Meet in the middle.
When you cannot seem to come to a compromise on something but you’re still completely smitten by your new love, find some time to mull it over on your own before totally writing off the other person’s point-of-view. Sometimes it just takes a little quiet time to truly understand that you can be a bit more flexible than what you may have at first thought. Even if you don’t agree with the whole point, there might be pieces intertwined that still intrigue you.
Black and white thinking is counterproductive to any relationship. Just as you wouldn’t want to be with someone who was so set in their ways that everything you said or did was wrong and that was that, don’t expect your partner to mold to your expectations. Allow him to be an individual and appreciate him for your individually. By the same token, make sure you’re appreciated for yours, too.
All relationships take work. There needs to be some give and take to withstand the test of time. While being inflexible may work in the beginning because neither of you wants to upset the other person, this just isn’t feasible for a long-term union.
