No relationship is perfect. However, there are things you and your partner can work through, and there are things you can’t – the inevitable deal breakers. And, there are a few bad behaviors that’ll ruin just about any relationship, no matter how well-intended both partners may be.
It’s important to avoid falling into these easy-to-get-into, hard-to-escape traps if you intend on making your relationship last.
Social Media Addiction.
Is your partner always on his phone, updating his status, responding to messages, taking selfies? While it’s okay to have an account to stay connected with those you care about, being on it all the time isn’t healthy.
It could also mean that something is going on behind the scenes. It’s one thing for your partner to want to stay connected and quite another to stay too connected.
Unfortunately, in a world in which it’s quick and easy to converse with just about anyone, it’s easier than ever before to be unfaithful. If your partner would rather respond to every message coming through on his phone than spend quality time with you, something’s not quite right.
Single Behavior.
In the beginning of the relationship, you may let this slide. When a bond is just getting started, oftentimes both parties are still guarded. They may feel as if “this is the one” but want to make sure they’re not heartbroken in the process. There are walls that will need to come down over time.
Because there is an inherent need to protect one’s heart, you and your mate may be spending sufficient time together yet remain concerned with your social lives – going out with friends and having fun.
Over time, however, partying can hinder a partnership and it’s important for you to respect each other by making your bond a top priority. This doesn’t mean you can’t have friends, of course. It just means there needs to be some balance and deeper level conversations about expectations for the future.
Dishonesty.
Ever hear, “honesty is the best policy”? Words to live by.
Dishonesty will ruin just about any relationship, whether it be with your significant other, family members, friends, colleagues, or anyone else with whom you form a bond. Once a lie is discovered, it is difficult to trust the individual responsible for it. And, once trust is broken, it’s tough to repair.
The nature of the lie is, of course, something to consider. Some are easier to work through than others. As a general rule of thumb, it’s not worth the risk.
While you can maybe work through the lie the first or second time around, if your partner is constantly lying to you, it’s time to move on. Even little lies discovered can be an indication that bigger ones are brewing. In fact, compulsive, pathological lying is a personality trait that some people have, and this is a big relationship red flag.
Disrespect.
Respect is the very foundation of a healthy bond. It’s a sacred component, and if it’s continually invalidated, the partnership is doomed to fail. No one wants to feel disrespected, especially by someone who is supposed to offer unconditional love and support.
There are many ways in which a person can show this behavior – by ignoring you, not showing up to important events, canceling last minute, constantly being on the phone, or always putting you down.
Narcissists especially love to disrespect their mates. They do this in the form of gaslighting, or making their victims feel so worthless that they begin to question their own sanity. Eventually, everything they think, say, or do feels wrong. If you believe you are falling victim to this type of partner, it’s time to run – fast!
Distancing.
If it seems like it’s impossible to schedule time with the person you’re with or they often seem to be focused on other aspects of life, making time together a low priority, this is not a good sign.
The only way to strengthen your bond is by getting to know each other – over time, on a deeper and deeper level. And, the only way to accomplish this is by maintaining close contact.
When you’re together, you need to feel as if your partner values this time, too. If you feel like this person can’t wait to be given some space, it’s a clear indication it’s not the right bond for you. Those who are always distant are not concerned with maintaining a healthy, long-term partnership.
If you’ve met someone you’re totally enamored with and want the relationship to last, respect and nurture it. When you both feel like you’re invested in your partnership, it will have staying power. However, if these bad behaviors persist, it may be time to call it quits.
