Why does my boyfriend hate me? If I had a nickel for every time I asked myself this question with tears streaming down my cheeks… I’d be a millionaire.
Listen… Relationships are hard work. Sometimes we sense hateful feelings, but I assure you that there are tons of possible explanations, and I’ll cover them all in this article.
Human beings are flawed and our self-esteem often depends on the little things our partner says that secretly carry a lot of emotional toll.
Your significant other may say hurtful things but not actually mean them.
When we fall on hard times, in any healthy relationship, feelings of hate might start creeping up unintentionally.
What matters is that you get to the bottom of his behavior and try to make your relationship work. If your boyfriend does hate you (and you’re not imagining it), here are the telltale signs.
See also: Waiting For Love Quotes: 130 Sayings That Show Love Is Worth Waiting For
9 Signs Your Boyfriend Might Hate You
1. Every fight ends with him threatening to leave you
People fight and then make up the next day. It happens all the time and it’s a natural course of events.
But no matter how big the fight was, there always has to be a resolution if the relationship is healthy.
But, if your boyfriend ends every argument with threats of breaking up, there is reason to be alarmed.
No matter what transpired and the hurtful things that were said – if he loves you, he’ll make sure you know it through text messages, phone calls, or a social media message.
He’ll reach out and initiate a conversation to talk it all through. But if you are in an abusive relationship (mental abuse is a thing) you need to acknowledge that.
Even if this man is your first love, your self-worth and well-being should never be jeopardized everytime his ego is threatened.
Don’t allow your mental health to suffer if your boyfriend truly does hate you.
It is a big deal and you definitely don’t have to put up with it.
If he wants to break up with you, he should just do it and let you go.
Unless there’s a legitimate reason why he’s acting this way, there’s no point in staying.
2. He is pulling away and hides his phone from you
I definitely believe that two people are entitled to their privacy. You have your life and your boyfriend has his life.
Just because you’re in a relationship it doesn’t mean you can’t keep some things to yourself.
But if he has suddenly started hiding his phone from you (and he never did it before) it’s a bad sign.
If all of a sudden, he changes his passcode and makes sure he never leaves his phone or tablet near you, there might be something there.
Your boyfriend might really hate you for some reason.
Perhaps this is his way of letting you know that the decision has been made. He’s just not man enough to articulate it with actual words.
People start becoming passive-aggressive when they’re scared of being genuine.
Maybe you did something that pissed him off big time?
Maybe he’s just unhappy and he’s manifesting it in a shitty way?
Whatever it is, it’s definitely a sign that he no longer loves you. When things take a turn for the worse completely out of the blue, there’s always a reason behind it.
See also: Relationship Goals Quotes: 85 Lines That Perfectly Describe Your Ideal Love
3. He often points out your flaws
When you first started going out, he loved every single thing about you. He never tried to change you and always made you feel secure and confident.
But lately, things have changed a lot. Now, he has no problem objectifying you in a way he never did before.
Now, whatever he feels about your appearance, he just blurts it out as if it’s nothing.
You’re either too fat, too thin, or not attentive enough.
You either dress too provocatively or you dress like a nun, and he has a problem with it.
You’ve started to feel like nothing you do is ever good enough for him. And judging by this behavior, you’re right.
I know for a fact that my ex-boyfriend hates me. Why? Because I would never wear short dresses like he begged me to.
Because I was never that into fashion and make-up.
And believe it or not – that’s what broke us up (thank God!)
But take my example as a sign of a messed up point of view. You are your own person.
Nobody can or should ever tell you what to do and how to dress.
Your boyfriend might hate you for not being exactly how he pictures you in his mind, and that’s his issue!
Stop wondering: why does my boyfriend hate me, and start showing him who’s boss!
4. He’s completely stopped being caring and attentive
He no longer does nice things for you. He no longer looks at you like you’re the only girl in the world.
You used to be his best friend but now, it feels like you’re a mere acquaintance.
When people suddenly start changing their ways without any explanation, there’s always a reason behind it.
Perhaps it’s something on his part, or maybe he’s not happy with something you’re doing and he can’t communicate it.
Either way, this is a clear sign your boyfriend hates you and resents you for something.
When you love someone, you make sure they know it.
But a lack of care and attention signals serious issues on his part.
What’s left to do now is think about how you want to handle this. Are you going to talk to him or just let it keep happening?
Will you try to work on some things that might be causing hateful feelings or is there nothing left to save?
Let me just tell you one thing. You deserve to be treated with love, care, and respect.
You deserve someone who will make your self-esteem skyrocket and your fears go away.
If your boyfriend doesn’t have that effect on you, then what are you still doing with him?
5. He no longer wants to do things together
One of the best things about relationships is having a built-in partner through life.
He’s your gym buddy, your game-night partner, your go-to secret keeper and so much more!
But now, all of that feels like a mere dream. He has started avoiding doing things with you.
You no longer go to the gym together (there’s always an excuse) and he gets up before you.
He no longer wants to go to friends’ for dinner dates as a couple and you’re always having to make up stories why he’s not there.
Basically – he’s completely bailed on you in all aspects of life. This means that he yearns for independence and he’s trying to separate himself from you.
As hurtful as it is, your significant other wants nothing to do with you anymore. It’s always the little things that give it away.
Yes, I’m afraid your boyfriend honestly might hate you and there is no getting around it.
Now, all he wants is to be by himself, with his best friend, basically, anywhere but with you.
Simply said, your boyfriend is no longer emotionally invested in you.
See also: I Love You More Than Quotes And Sayings Straight From The Heart
6. He puts you down in front of your friends
One of the most hurtful things he has started doing is showing you complete disrespect, to your complete shock and devastation.
No matter where you are and who you’re with, he has started to put you down like you’re nothing to him.
The emotional severity of this is enormous.
You feel embarrassed in front of your friends. You feel embarrassed simply going out in public because you know he might start undermining you again.
He posts photos with other girls as if he’s single. He’ll call you out in front of anyone and make sure that you know your place.
He has become a shell of a human being and yes, your boyfriend quite clearly hates you. But you know what?
You don’t have to put up with it!
Unless there’s an underlying issue that you’re denying to yourself, there is nothing left to stay for.
If he treats you with disrespect and such shame, give him the boot.
This type of relationship should not be fought for. You need a guy who knows how to treat a woman, and he’s clearly not that person!
7. He refuses to talk about the future
There is no more ‘we’, now there’s just ‘him’ and his plans. You used to have big plans for the future.
You used to plan on buying a house in the suburbs and getting a dog.
You used to dream about growing old alongside him and now, he avoids any mention of the future as if it’s the plague.
You can sense that he’s slipping away. You can feel the hate and the distance between you two. But what happened?
What led to this? Not so long ago, you were two peas in a pod, and now… you’re like roommates who don’t even talk to each other anymore.
Maybe it’s just not on the cards or maybe he’s just one of those guys who are scared of intimacy.
Maybe this is his way of shutting you out so that you’ll break up with him. He is too much of a wuss to even leave you with dignity.
But you know what… don’t give him the satisfaction. Let him wallow in his own misery and if he wants to leave, he’s going to have to do it himself.
If your relationship is salvageable, definitely try to have a heart-to-heart.
But if you feel like this is too far gone, make peace with things and move on. There are better things ahead.
8. He doesn’t care about your needs
You’ve come to realize that your boyfriend would rather hang out in front of the TV all day rather than be with you.
He plays video games non-stop, and no matter what you’re going through, he never presses pause.
He never asks if you’re okay. He never shows you he cares.
You’re all by yourself and you could literally fall apart in front of him and he’d tell you that you’re blocking his view.
It sucks and it hurts. The distance is becoming unbearable and his aloofness is slow torture.
You are so desperate to make your relationship work, yet he’d rather go out, drink too much and act like a total ass.
If this is your reality, your boyfriend really does hate you. I can’t tell you why, but I can tell you that without having your needs met, you cannot allow yourself to stay in this environment.
Bit by bit, you’re going to fall apart. Your mental health is taking a big hit and every little thing will become a trigger.
Have you thought about the possible causes of his inexcusable behavior?
Has something happened recently that you haven’t dealt with?
Unless you know of a way to change things for the better, there is nothing left to do but leave his sorry ass and find somebody who’ll treat you right.
See also: He Blocked Me: What Does It Mean And What To Do About It
9. You’re always the one to blame
And finally, he blames you for absolutely everything that is wrong in your relationship.
He takes zero accountability and you’re always in the wrong.
You know that it wasn’t you, and deep down he knows it too. The thing is, he just doesn’t care.
He doesn’t give a shit how it makes you feel.
This is his way of letting you know he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
If he’d rather pin the blame on you instead of resolving the issues, things are pretty clear.
Yes, human beings are complicated. but when people give you every reason to see their true colors – don’t be blind!
We all go through hard times, but that doesn’t excuse shitty behavior. That doesn’t give anyone the right to treat you like crap.
These moments are what will make you or break you.
Choose to see him for who he really is. If he is constantly giving you reasons to leave him, do just that.
But if there’s a reason behind all of this, consider working on making it right.
Keep reading to discover some of the most probable reasons that are making your boyfriend hate you.
Who knows, you might just realize that there’s hope for you anyway!
5 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Might Hate You
You are way too controlling
You might be a control freak who doesn’t let him do his own thing. People, in general, don’t like being told what to do all the time.
Have you considered that this might be the reason for his shitty behavior?
Has he gradually started hating you because you don’t let him be his own person? It’s okay to give him advice and consult him, but it’s a problem if you’re making him feel trapped.
That might cause him to manifest his feelings in a really bad way.
See also: My Ex Wants Me Back: 15 Things To Do About It
You don’t have enough time for him
Guys can be like toddlers – if you don’t give them enough attention, they start acting out!
Has your work life suddenly taken a priority over him? Have you stopped having time for date nights and quality time together?
If your boyfriend feels like he’s not a priority, he’ll start acting like he hates you. But in reality – he just wants your attention.
His dismissiveness, putting you down and being a jerk, all stem from feeling left out. Consider this before making any decisions.
You’re always going on and on about your ex
This might come as a shock… but guys really don’t like being compared to their GF’s ex in any way, shape, or form.
It’s such a turn-off. And if your man feels threatened by being compared to your hot shot of an ex, he’ll start showing it.
Every single shitty thing he may exhibit from the above list might be because you won’t stop talking about your ex.
How would you feel if the tables were turned? It’s not comfortable and you should try to reassure him and smooth things over.
You don’t respect his private space
People need to be allowed to have some ”me time”. You cannot function individually if you’re always in the company of others. It’s okay to want to be near him, but you must give him space to breathe too!
Maybe he feels suffocated, Maybe he doesn’t know how to tell you this because he’s scared of hurting you. Which is ironic because his behavior is doing just that! Talk to him and consider taking a step back. We all deserve our own time.
See also: How To Get Over Your First Love: 13 Steps To Success
You are too flirty with other men
If you’re being a flirt with every man you see on the street, no wonder he’s acting this way! That makes him feel disrespected as hell. It’s okay to feel confident and beautiful, just don’t tease other dudes while your man is there.
It’s nice to feel appreciated and seen by others. But if it’s going to cost you your relationship, it’s definitely not worth it. If you have a man, leave the flirty side for him! He needs to know that you only have eyes for him, as does he for you!
It takes two to tango!
You can’t expect to be treated with love, adoration, and respect if you refuse to abide by the same rules. Guys have feelings too. And when you hurt them, they don’t always know how to handle it.
And that’s what occasionally makes you wonder: why does my boyfriend hate me, when in fact, he’s just silently hurting for something he cannot communicate to you properly.
Make sure you are being a good girlfriend and I’ll bet he’ll go back to being the guy you fell in love with! If there’s hope, don’t let your relationship wither. Hard times teach us valuable lessons!
See also: How Long Do Rebound Relationships Work? (And Will It Last?)