Breadcrumbing, double-texting, people pretending they’re single, using fake photos, GHOSTING… How many of you have experienced some or all of these things at least once when it comes to modern dating?
I did, my friends did, my colleagues did, the friends of my friends did…
What does this say to us?
Dating apps and social media were supposed to make dating easier for us. Instead, they made things more COMPLICATED and EXHAUSTING.
Each one of us goes through different dating challenges in accordance with our gender. Here’s why modern dating sucks for men!
Why Does Modern Dating Suck For Men?
“Online dating is like being a stand up comedian except that instead of boos or getting tomatoes thrown at you, you are greeted with radio silence. You have to be ready with pictures that showcase you as an interesting person, be armed with witty lines, great jokes, good stories to tell, and you get ghosted repeatedly over and over again. And all of this isn’t for America’s next top model. This is for your regular girl next door. This also reminds me of that LinkedIn post where someone ranted about how companies should expect you to go through five rounds of interviews if they aren’t gonna pay like Google or Facebook does.”
(Posted by u/nouseforaname888 on Reddit)
U/nouseforaname888, we TOTALLY agree with you! It sucks to be armed with witty lines and great jokes only to realize that (some) girls don’t give a damn about them. And there is more! Here are a few key points why modern dating sucks for men:
1. It sucks to think that women expect too much from you.
“I need to have the hottest profile pic.”
“I need to impress women with hilarious jokes and great openers.”
“My profile and texts shouldn’t be boring but also I shouldn’t be trying too hard.”
Dear men, does this sound familiar to you? I bet it does. It sucks to think that women expect too much from you because this is a surefire way to lose your mind when it comes to dating.
Because of this, many men don’t even dare to text some women out of fear that they’ll be rejected by them. One can never enjoy dating when they’re convinced that others expect too much from them, and that’s why modern dating sucks!
2. It sucks to always be the one who initiates things.
We can argue about this all day long but there’s this unwritten rule that men are supposed to text first, ask out first, and so on. Well, it sucks to always be the one who initiates things!
This unwritten rule comes with a huge burden and it makes dating not-so-enjoyable for men.
3. It sucks to be ghosted.
This one is connected with the previous one. Given that men are “supposed to” text first, they are at risk of being ghosted more than women. And yes, it TOTALLY sucks to be ghosted! Just imagine a man who has spent half of his day trying to find the best Tinder opener only to be ghosted.
Not only once but over and over again (depending on how much time he invests in modern dating). I’m sure that three to five ghosting is enough to shake your self-esteem and make you question your self-worth. That’s why modern dating sucks so much!
4. It sucks to keep hearing that All men are the same.
And then, there’s this famous sentence: All men are the same! Lord knows how many times a woman uttered it when she was disappointed in that one man who was either a narcissistic asshole or a manipulative player.
Noup, not all men are the same and not all women are the same.
There are still some good men out there and they don’t enjoy being called “the same”. Just because some of you, ladies, haven’t met one, this doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. Let’s not make this dating thing even harder than it is, right?
5. It sucks to compete with other men.
Many men won’t admit this to themselves and others, but they have this inherent trait that forces them to compete with other men. Do they enjoy it? Some men do but the majority of them DON’T.
Social media and dating apps have brought this to another level. The competition between men has never been stronger thus making men feel like they’ll never be good enough for a woman they like.
There will always be men who are more successful or more handsome than others and modern dating has no mercy when it comes to emphasizing this.
How can a man EVER feel confident about himself when he’s virtually surrounded by thousands of other men ready to do anything to prove to themselves and to the world that they are more powerful, stronger, and so on?
Gathering the courage to slide into the DMs of the girl you like has never been more difficult because you know that the competition is ruthless.
6. It sucks to shift from one extreme to the other.
Modern dating forces men to constantly work on updating their approaches. Shifting from one extreme to the other has become the new normal.
After being repeatedly ghosted, a man is forced to lower his expectations and settle for too little. As his confidence levels lower, he starts seeing women in a different light. His standards significantly decrease and he becomes afraid of making a mistake.
Sadly, making a mistake in the modern dating world has never been easier because texting is the main means of communication.
7. It sucks to be friendzoned.
Here’s the truth: Every single woman has friendzoned a guy at least once in her life. With modern dating, friendzoning has become even more popular. Why?
Because it has never been easier to friendzone someone!
If you want to friendzone a guy, all you need to do is ignore his texts for a while and then let him know that you’re only interested in being friends with him.
Well, it SUCKS to be friendzoned. Every man who has been friendzoned knows that being friendzoned is like being put in jail and told to be okay with it until something changes.
In the majority of cases, NOTHING changes.
And Do You Know What Sucks The Most?
All this pretending that modern dating is the best invention since sliced bread. I think it’s high time for men to wake up and realize that modern dating brings more consequences than benefits to them.
Why would you keep wasting your time playing stand up comedian and being armed with witty lines when things CAN and SHOULD be simpler than that?