I’ve been going through years and years of my life, never knowing what true love was. I was searching for it in everything and everyone.
Somehow, I thought that love was supposed to be this great and secret craft that not everyone was allowed to master. Sounds weird, I know. But I was convinced that love wasn’t something that was going to be in my life.
I went through a lot. I was the girl abused by narcissists, emotional psychopaths and even by myself. You might be asking yourself now, how could I have been abusing my own self?
Well, it’s easy. I went all in thinking that I could change them and that with the right amount of effort they would love me as much as I loved them.
I would cry myself to sleep because I couldn’t believe that something so beautiful as love would hurt so much.
And then… there was you.
The first time I saw you was actually the day I decided to start a new life and to stop thinking about whether someone was ever going to love me or not.
Somehow, I wanted to love myself more than anyone else ever did. I was sitting in a cafe, writing down my thoughts, and that was the exact moment when you came into my life.
You were so sweet and kind. I thought that I had forgotten what the face of a nice person looked like.
There was nothing I could’ve done to make you go away because you were determined to love me and make me love you. I did. I fell for you and the crazy thing about it is that you caught me.
You didn’t let me fall for you so I could keep on falling forever, but you caught me and went together with me into a whole new life.
You hadn’t had it easy either. You didn’t learn much about love from your cheating girlfriend and that’s nothing you should be ashamed of. We’re learning together now.
From day one, the fire between us didn’t burn away; it kept on keeping us warm and protected.
You make me feel protected. You make me feel secure. You make me feel loved and appreciated. But there is nothing I am as thankful for as I am for the fact that you make me feel like I am enough.
I am enough. For you, for myself, for the world.
You showed me love. You showed me what love is and that it’s not hard, that it’s not suffering. You showed me that unconditional, genuine love never has a toxic background but rather the beautiful feeling of belonging.
You showed me how to love myself the day I decided to fall in love with you. You told me that there is no one who can love me like I can love myself and you were right. But it’s nice to see that someone else has the courage to love me as well.
Thank you for everything you have done for me. For everything you are and everything you’ve taught me. Thank you for being who you are.
Now I have realized that endings don’t have to be sad, but they can be happy and beautiful, just because I am living my life with you and I want to spend it with you until the end of my days.
The end won’t be sad, because I know that I have will have spent my life in your hands and with my head leaned on your shoulder.
But let’s not talk about death. Let’s talk about every new morning that I spend kissing you and every evening that we spend loving each other even more than we did the night before.
It’s the most fulfilling feeling to know that out there is someone like you just waiting for every woman who has survived. It’s like knowing that everyone will have their own happy ending.
A happy ending that will teach us that love is real and love will always wait for the patient ones.