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You Lost Me (And I’m Not Coming Back)

You Lost Me (And I’m Not Coming Back)

Someone once said:” Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” and I didn’t listen. Maybe it’s because I never thought of you as my enemy. I thought because I love, you love me too. I thought just because I’d never hurt you, you’d never hurt me either. But just as usual, life has its own way and I was proven wrong. Again.

I told you how much it hurts to be ignored by you. I told you how annoying it is to not get an answer to my call when I know you’re on your phone. You knew how shitty I feel after you don’t reply my text. It’s just one stupid text—why was it so hard to make time and talk to me?

You knew I hated you flirting with other girls. I just couldn’t stand by and stare. I hated seeing you with somebody else. If I was yours and if you were mine, when and where did that need for other people come to the surface? I never wanted somebody else, just having you was enough for me and I can’t wrap my mind around why wasn’t I enough for you.

I thought I did everything right—that you had found everything you had ever wanted in me. But I was obviously wrong.

I wasn’t enough. You needed something else, but you didn’t want to let me go. And I wasn’t gonna let you hurt me and treat me badly. Yes, I love you, but you don’t get to play me. I love you, but there is a limit to my patience and you’ve reached it a long time ago.

Even though you had a final laugh, even though I was the one to leave this relationship wounded, it doesn’t mean you won. You might have won the battle, but you sure as hell did not win the war.

See, I can find somebody like you around any corner, but you’ll have trouble finding some who’ll care for you as much as I did. You’ll never find somebody who’ll tolerate you as much as I did. You’ll be unable to fill the void I left because I loved you more than you deserved.

I loved you unconditionally. I did my best to meet your expectations. I did my best to love you without asking anything in return. I loved you at your most unlovable and you refused to respect me. See, once you find out how respect feels, you’ll take it over love, always. I knew from the beginning how respect feels, I was just a bit carried away with the feeling of love.

I was carried away with the love I had for you, not the love you had for me. Because I doubt you loved me. That’s why you won the battle. You pushed me away. You let me chose you over the respect. I gave you my love even though you didn’t cherish it.

That’s why you lost the war. Because you lost someone who loved you the most in this world. You lost the war because I am not coming back.