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11 Ways You Lose Yourself When You’re In Love

11 Ways You Lose Yourself When You’re In Love

Relationships can be dynamic and change often. Because of this, it is normal that you’ll change some things for your significant other.

However, you shouldn’t change everything about yourself for the sake of the relationship.

It’s nice to change some little things that your partner doesn’t like, but even those changes shouldn’t be made too often.

Change is part of our growth process but constant adjustment will make you into a whole new person, and that’s not healthy for your relationship.

You can’t force someone to be with you, but a man who loves you will stay with you no matter what.

If you want to find out if you changed negatively in your relationship, ask yourself whether you relate to any of the following:

1. You ALWAYS put your partner’s needs ahead of yours

smiling woman hugging man outside

If you want to show your man how much you appreciate him, of course you’ll put him ahead of your own needs sometimes.

You want to make him happy so you’ll do something that he likes, even if you don’t like it.

But if you always do that, it means that you’re not caring for yourself the way you used to.

Your partner has become the center of your universe (that’s nice, don’t get me wrong) and you have forgotten about all your own needs and wishes.

Be careful, your man could get used to this and he may also like it.

If he realizes what’s happening, he may appreciate you less because he’ll see that you don’t appreciate yourself enough to stay true to yourself.

2. You seek approval from your man for everything you want to do

worried woman talking with her boyfriend

You want to know your partner’s opinion about everything you do, and you’ll change your mind if he is not okay with it.

You’ll even ask him his opinion about what clothes to wear and if he says that your choice isn’t the best, you’ll immediately change your clothes.

This could become very dangerous because he could get used to approving all your actions and the way you look.

A situation like this can lead to your relationship becoming toxic and you could end up blaming yourself for not being good enough.

3. You betray your morals because of him

mindful woman with blue eyes

Your morals are the things that define you. What would you be without them, or if they are constantly changing? Would you really be the same person?

You think it’s okay to neglect and change your beliefs and morals because of the man you love.

You’ll do everything necessary to be with him, even if it means that you have to change the most important thing about yourself.

If you lose yourself this way, you won’t be able to fully enjoy your relationship.

Sometimes you think about changing your morals just to avoid a fight with him. You are afraid of being in conflict with him in case he leaves you.

Well, if he does, it means thathe doesn’t deserve you because he thinks that your opinion doesn’t matter.

4. You keep quiet about how you feel

sad woman sitting on floor and thinking

You’ve always talked about your feelings and you don’t regret it. You’ve even encouraged others to do the same.

So, what’s happened? Why are you keeping quiet now?

I’ll tell you what’s happened: Your fear of losing the man you love. You are afraid that if you talk with him about what’s bothering you, he won’t understand or he’ll be angry.

Expressing feelings is the most important part of every relationship. It helps you to deal with problems.

Instead, you’ve chosen to bury your feelings. Like that will make them go away.

It won’t. You’ll feel stressed and uncomfortable, but you’ll deal with all the negative emotions because you think that opening up to your partner could be risky for your relationship.

5. You ignore your intuition

sad woman sitting by the lake

Again, this is one of the things you do because you are afraid he’ll leave.

You start to doubt his loyalty. You even find some small piece of evidence and your gut tells you that there is something wrong.

He starts to come home late and you start to doubt even more that he is not being loyal to you.

But somehow, you’ll choose to ignore all of the signs and to mute your intuition because you don’t want to argue with him. You want to believe that he loves you the same way you love him.

6. Your confidence is shaken

sad woman sitting on the bed

Your self-esteem is compromised by everything you let your partner do for you. You don’t see yourself the way you used to. Now, the feeling of not being good enough is always with you.

You’ve become totally dependent on your partner because you are not sure that you’ll do anything well by yourself.

Your self-love is also compromised by lots of new changes. You don’t feel comfortable in your own skin anymore.

These new feelings are unpleasant for you and it may take months to fall in love with yourself again.

7. You forget your old friends

sad blond woman sitting in the living room

You are in a relationship, not in a prison. So, why don’t you continue to hang out with your friends? Remember, they #were there for you before your boyfriend.

People grow up and drift apart – that’s normal. But if you are able to keep your friendships you really should.

You should be thankful to your friends for everything you went through together, for all the beautiful childhood memories you created together.

8. You put your dreams and goals on hold

cute afro woman looking at sky

Remember how you were full of dreams and passions for the future? Now that

has all changed. You’ve put it all on hold because you want him to succeed first. You can wait a few years.

Ask yourself, would the 16-year old you be satisfied with you now? If the answer is NO, then please start changing your behavior.

You need to work on making your dreams come true. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to that little girl who studied hard because she wanted to finish school and become a successful woman.

9. You pass up job opportunities for him

woman thinking next to the window
You’ve finally gotten a good job offer but decided that you won’t accept it because you’ll be miles away from your significant other.

It’s your choice but remember how long you have waited for a good opportunity like this. If it really is true love, a long-distance relationship shouldn’t be a threat.

The old you would gladly accept the awesome opportunity, without a second thought.

10. You can’t stand it when you argue with your man

unhappy couple sitting on the sofa

As we’ve already said, you’ll do whatever you can to avoid conflict. Most of the time you just shut up and let him say what he wants.

Every time you have an argument with your man, you immediately start crying. All you can think about is how he’ll leave you.

You don’t want to argue with him because you are afraid how the fight will end.

11. You always talk about him and your relationship

happy woman wearing sunglasses and cup of coffee

When you are hanging out with your besties, don’t talk about your man all the time. They’ll think that you are too clingy and that you can’t be without him for even a minute.

It will seem like you don’t have any other things in life except him. And that’s not true.

You still have many interesting things in your life to talk about with your friends, you’ve just forgotten about all of them because you’ve put your SO at the center of your universe.

To wrap up

young woman sitting on the sand
If you can relate to any of these signs, then this is your wake-up call.

Losing yourself when you are in a relationship will only make it dysfunctional and unhealthy.

Then, when it ends – and it will because your partner will become bored with you – you’ll have nothing left to give to your next love. You’ll feel empty inside.

Prioritize. Your relationship with yourself should always come first.

Self-love is the foundation for any other love. How can you love someone else if you are not able to love yourself?

Never change for a man. Know who you are and how much you are worth. Always stay true to yourself.

Remember, if a man truly loves you, he’ll accept you for who you are.

11 Ways You Lose Yourself When You’re In Love