Relationships are difficult as it is, but what about when you’re in love with an emotional vampire? What happens when he takes away all the energy you have left? How are you going to survive the healing if you are unable to get up from the bed in the morning?
Well, you fight, you work with what you’ve got and you survive. You get better; you heal. It’s like learning to walk all over again. It takes a long time and it’s painful, but finally, you walk again and you forget that you weren’t able to get up for a long time.
These emotional vampires have the power to make you feel unworthy and unlovable. They will always find a way to make you feel bad about yourself. This is their main weapon to control you. But since there are different types of emotional vampires, they do the same thing but in different ways.
These are the types and what you should do to defend yourself:
1. The Narcissist
The most famous of them all is Beyoncé of the singing world. Narcissists are extremely dangerous. The most important person for them is themselves. They are people who are incapable of loving anyone. They can care for someone—as long as that someone does everything they want. They are attention seekers and they crave admiration. When they walk into the room, they want all eyes on them and they enjoy it so much. They will lie, deceive and hurt you, just to get exactly what they want. These dangerous manipulators feel no remorse as they can’t feel love.
How to deal with them: Keep your desires sensible. These are highly dangerous individuals. Never trust them with your feelings or let your self-esteem get into their hands. Don’t think they can change and fall helplessly in love, because they can’t and you can’t change them—no matter what you do. Women often fall in that trap. Don’t trust them with your feelings and never let them in, because if you do, you’ll get emotionally attached and in the end terribly hurt.
2. The Splitter
They are absolute champions in keeping you on an emotional roller coaster. One day, they are going to love you the most and the other one, they are going to hate you—depends on what you did to make him feel that way. And since he is an emotional vampire, you did nothing wrong. You just did something he doesn’t approve or doesn’t like, so he turns his back on you that instant.
How to deal with them: They will emotionally attack you every chance you get and the most important thing for you is to be ready to defend yourself. Don’t make any eye contact while they are screaming at you, don’t give them any reason to go any further. Build a wall around yourself that will protect you from their behavior. And the last and most important tip, just leave that person. Your life could be so much better than it is because of him.
3. The Victim
The whole world is against them. They are always the underdogs in everything they do. Even if you offer them a solution, they will find an excuse not to go through with it. The only solution for them is to do what they want you to, so they could be happy. If you are in a relationship with ‘The Victim’, your life will turn into hell and if you know someone like this, you’ll probably avoid their calls and messages.
How to deal with them: There is a way of protecting yourself from this kind of people. There are a few body language signs that will let them know that you just don’t want to discuss whatever is that they want with you. You can cross your arms and turn your gaze away, thus letting them know that you are not inviting them into your personal space. If you are in a relationship with someone like this, don’t let them speak unless they decide to listen to your solution. If they keep turning you down, refuse to talk about that theme in general.
4. The Criticizer
No matter what you do, they will find fault with it. They will criticize you all the time to undermine you and make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Even when you do something right, they will set the bar even higher so you never reach it. They will expect too much of you by setting ridiculously high standards which are impossible to fulfill.
How to deal with them: Don’t take any of the words they say personally. They are just meant to hurt you and none of them are even true. You shouldn’t defend yourself because that will only show him that he has managed to get to you with his provocations. Don’t give him any reason to think you’re hurt and in that way encourage him to criticize you some more.
5. The Constant Talker
These people don’t have any interest in what you’ve got to say. The only thing they want to do is to talk and talk. They have the need to say everything they want about themselves and when it’s your turn, they don’t let you and even if they do, they don’t really listen to you, they pretend.
How to deal with them: They don’t know how to pick up on subtle signs that you don’t want them to talk anymore, so you have to be vocal and interrupt them. Try to do it politely with an excuse—that works the best—or if it’s someone close to you, like a family member, just stop him and explain why. Going crazy on them and yelling won’t have any results.