How did we end up here? How the hell did we become the example of a bad relationship? From having relationship goals, to this. From being the happiest people to miserable and lonely roommates in the hell we created. From living our lives to the fullest to doing nothing but reliving old memories. I can’t even remember the last time I heard you say, ‘I love you’. I can’t even remember the last time you kissed me with that crazy passion you used to kiss me with. With that passion that used to set my lips on fire and burn my soul. That passion that was driving me crazy and getting me high. I can’t even remember the last time you smiled at me. It’s not that you don’t smile at all. It’s just that you do it for someone else.
Love is worth fighting for, but I can’t keep on fighting alone.
Do you remember how we met? Do you think of it as often as I do? You approached me with that smirk on your face and that look in your eyes that stripped me naked to the very soul. And with the confidence of all the gods up there you said, ‘Wanna try my Irish coffee? They say it’s so good that it brings people back from the dead. But it’s probably because I forget the coffee.’ You were both fierce and gentle, strong and vulnerable. From the first moment there was some kind of a force between us, but I can’t remember the last time I felt it. From the first moment, my heart was drawn to yours, but you’re so distant that I can’t even feel you. You’re right next to me in bed and yet I feel so damn lonely. This was the pain I always hoped to avoid. But our hopes and dreams are not what we get. Loving someone doesn’t mean they will love us back.
Love is worth trying hard, but not if I’m only one trying.
I can’t keep on doing this. I can’t keep on fighting alone, when we’re supposed to fight together. I can’t keep on thinking why you don’t fight for me, when I used to be the only thing you ever cared about. I can’t keep on wondering what the hell went wrong for me to lose you. But it’s not losing you that hurts. It’s knowing that you don’t think we’re worth fighting for. It’s knowing that you’re ready to throw away years of memories, hundreds of Irish coffees without coffee, hundreds of kisses and hugs, because you no longer care about them. You no longer care about us.
Love is worth living for, but I’m dying next to you.
I wish you were a better man to love me as you promised you would. I wish you were a man of your word, the man that promised to be there for better or for worse. But, you ended up being my worst. You ended up draining me of love, draining me of hope and faith. You forgot your promise. You threw it away just like you did our lives and memories. Just like you did with my heart.
Love is worth trying hard, love is worth fighting and living for. But not if I’m fighting alone, not if I’m only one trying, not if I’m dying next to you and you’re too blind to see me.
You’re so lost in your own hell that you can’t see that you’re mine. You’re so lost in your own pain that you can’t see me holding your back and taking it all in. But I can’t keep on taking care of you. I can’t keep on holding you while I’m the one that’s falling apart. I can’t keep on putting my life on hold, so you can live yours the way you want. That’s not what we vowed; that’s not what we agreed to do. But it seems like you forgot our vows. It seems like you forgot we promised to be each other’s solid ground and the wind under each other’s wings. It seems like you forgot we promised to pick each other up and walk together hand in hand to the last page of life. It seems like you forgot me.
Love is worth it all, but you no longer are.