Relationships are tough. There are fake ones, toxic ones, one-sided ones and then there are destructive ones. It seems almost like being single is the best option, but because of the simple fact we know that love is worth it, we give it a try.
Destructive relationships are not easily spotted. They are filled with negative energy, so much rage and so much blame on the inside, but on the outside, it’s all sprinkles and smiles. They’re perfect looking until the very end, where either one snaps or one leaves. And it’s never a pretty ending.
Helping someone in a destructive relationship is hard, but if you’re the one who is stuck in such a relationship, run for your life! There’s no point in saving it. There’s no point in staying in it. End it before it ends you!
Emotional
Emotional and mental abuse is the probably one of the worst kinds. This abuse is taking a toll on your mental health, on your confidence and even your sanity. It can vary from undermining your skills, belittling you and your efforts, to manipulations so bad that you no longer know what’s reality and what’s happened in your head.
He can criticize you to the point where you feel worthless and lucky to have him around, which makes you bonded to him. He can manipulate you into oblivion and isolate you from all of your friends and family. In that case, he will be the only one you can count on. The whole purpose of this abuse is that he has power over you, over your emotions and your life.
If you notice any of these things in your relationship, try talking to him. If he blames you or even goes so far as to make you feel guilty to even talk about it with him (which often happens when it comes to this kind of abuse), run away! It will only get worse.
Verbal
Abuse is abuse, even if it’s unintentional. If your partner’s words are hurting you, you need to tell him that. Communication is the key and if it’s something he did accidentally, he will make sure never to do it again. On the other hand, if he blames it on you or he tries to make you feel crazy for feeling hurt, ditch him. You are dealing with an abuser who is using words and games instead of fists. And like I said, abuse is abuse, regardless of technique.
Financial
The whole idea of abuse is to have control over someone and some abusers find the easiest way to gain that control is financial abuse. Examples of financial abuse are someone taking control over all of the household money or stopping their partner from getting a job so they could have money of their own. The abuser can even take away the access to your bank accounts and credit cards, just so you won’t be able to leave him.
When you have no money, you cannot leave. And that’s perfect way for him to keep you around. And there is even possibility of him making debts on your cards and in your name, which makes it harder for you to get a job later. It’s the perfect way of him screwing up your life, just so he could have control over it. If you notice that there is something off about his demands about money or your working career, be careful! You could be stuck with a financial abuser.
Physical
When someone mentions the word ‘abuse’, this is the first thought that crosses your mind – physical abuse. Even if it’s most obvious one, it’s still deeper than just using strength on someone weaker. It’s about intimidating someone with one’s size and power. When a man corners a much smaller woman, he takes away any chance of her getting away and implants fear in her mind.
The moment someone raises a hand to you or someone you care about, leave them and call it in. No one deserves to leave in fear of the next hit. And there is nothing more painful than seeing someone you love flinch when you try to hug them because they are expecting you to hit them. It destroys the victim of such a relationship and all people around them. You are seeing them hurt and you can’t do anything about it, except give them your love and time.
Sexual
No means no. No always means no. Regardless if you’re saying it to some dude at the bar, to your date or to your husband. It’s a no. Countries all around the world are making laws to protect women at home because sexual abuse can happen even if you’re married. It’s your right to decide when to have sex and when to not, not anyone else’s. It’s your body, your choice and your mind. Don’t ever let anyone take it away from you!
Unfortunately, not every country in the world is able to protect victims like they deserve to be protected. If you notice that your partner has no respect towards your body or your wishes and desires, he won’t have respect towards your choices either. Leave such a relationship as soon as possible because in that case, the only one who can protect you is you.