Roughly a year ago, I was a completely different person. I wasn’t aware of it at the time but I didn’t know how to love myself. I never knew my worth. I was so used to not being good enough and yelled at for every little thing I did wrong (according to You), that I believed it to be normal. I didn’t know what it meant to be loved or appreciated, and it was all because of You.
You made me feel like I should be thankful for the pathetic fragments of the so-called ‘’love’ I was receiving from You.
Today, I am a new person.
I am finally brave enough to stand up for myself and to not be ashamed of wanting something better. It took me a long time but now I know what I deserve and I am smart enough to not let You treat me like I’m a commodity who is only deserving of love and attention at Your convenience. Here are all the ways Your shitty self made me stronger and greater:
1. I finally know my worth
During our relationship, I was always self-conscious about voicing my opinion, or God forbid, not agreeing with You on something. That was not allowed. Well now, after enduring so many years of suppressed emotions, I can happily say I don’t give a crap about what You think I deserve. I am SO MUCH more than Your sorry ass made me feel. I am more than You will ever know, and now that I know that, I will never let myself be mistreated by anyone in any way. So, thank You.
2. I learned that it is ok to say no
I was always forced to agree with everything You decided and was never allowed an opinion. You always made it seem like You were doing it all for my benefit and I was not capable of making a decision about anything regarding us or myself even.
Those days are over.
When I freed myself of You, I realized how much I was being denied and how much more in control I can and SHOULD be of my life. After all, it is MY life, and who are You to tell me what I can or cannot do? Luckily, I am done with that, and today, I enjoy saying, ‘’No,’’ immensely. Whenever and to whomever.
3. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone
If I want to go out with my girlfriends and dance the night away (without reporting to my significant other every 30 minutes!) that is exactly what I am going to do! Nobody owns me or my body, and I will enjoy myself without feeling guilty about it! I deserve to have fun and I do not need to justify it to anyone. Not anymore!
4. I deserve all the love in the world
Yup, You heard me. The possessive nature of Your sick and twisted view of love is long gone and forgotten, and thank God I finally realized how sick and unhealthy it was to be with You. I was so grateful when You showed me any attention that I forgot what it was to love and be loved. The pure, genuine, unselfish kind of love, flaws and all. It makes me sick that I ever let myself think I was undeserving of it. I am grateful that I learned to open my eyes and close the door (once and for all) to Your manipulative ways.
5. I choose who I spend my life with
Just because You manipulated Your way to my heart and masked Your true intentions until You won it, does not mean I owe my happiness to You. The person I fell for is not the person You turned out to be. It is disgusting how You tricked me into thinking I loved You and made me feel like You were my only option. YOU NEVER WERE and now that I finally know it, I am THROUGH with You. I deserve to find someone who will appreciate me and love me for who I am, even if it means being alone in the meantime.
See, I’ve finally realized something. I would much rather spend the following years of my life alone (read: single) than to spend a minute more with a master manipulator such as Yourself.
I am no longer the naive, self-conscious young girl You once knew. You’d be surprised to see how much I’ve learned since finding the courage to leave You. I have never felt more alive and I cannot wait to see what life has planned for me. One thing is for sure… YOU made me who I am today, and for that, I thank You.
I hope you get everything You deserve, and more.
Xoxo,
The One Who Got Away
