Many people think that being in a relationship is pretty simple. You spend a lot of time together, you do crazy things, you laugh, you cry… you love each other. But did you know that there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with them?
Loving your partner doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re in love with them. Loving them means you have feelings for them and you care about them. But being in love means the constant building of your relationship and investing mutual efforts to maintain the romance and intimacy.
When one partner skips this pattern (or both do), they instantly put their relationship in danger of heading toward the friendzone. When that happens, it’s really hard to notice because many people mistake the friendzone for being too comfy with each other.
If you suspect that this might be the case with you, do not miss the opportunity to do something about it (before it’s too late)! Here are 8 alarming signs that they are more your friend than partner.
1. You can’t remember that last time you did something romantic together
To the question about how you spend most of your time together, the first thing that comes to your mind is ‘Netflix and chill’. You would say something else but you simply can’t remember the last time you did something (more) romantic together than lying next to each other on the couch with a bunch of food and your favorite TV shows.
2. You don’t make each other feel special
You don’t bother making that much effort in surprising each other (as you might have used to do before). The biggest surprise you get is the one when you realize your partner has left you some of your favorite food leftovers in the fridge. You no longer make those sweet gestures like a forehead kiss, hugging sessions, etc. because they seem overrated to you.
3. You never kiss passionately
You can’t remember the last time you kissed with real passion. When you kiss, it lasts approximately five seconds and most of the time it’s in a rush when the two of you are parting.
Kissing passionately helps you establish a stronger bond between each other, so you should never neglect the power of a good, fiery kissing session (if you don’t want your relationship to head toward the friendzone).
4. You don’t make an effort to look your best for each other
Baggy clothes, walking around in your pajamas the whole day, granny panties, messy hair, no make-up, no dieting, no shaving. Does this sound familiar to you? Do you find it hard to recognize each other when you’re in a more formal outfit than pajamas?
You reached the point where you’re way too comfortable around each other and you simply don’t bother making an effort to look your best.
5. You never make love
If it’s been a long time since you made love to each other, you might have a problem. You obviously don’t have the urge to be intimate with each other as you might have used to before. The lack of intimacy and passion is the biggest red flag that your relationship is heading in the friendzone direction.
6. Your conversations are poor
Except for asking each other about your whereabouts, meals, bills and other necessities, you don’t talk that much about anything else. Deep topics have become as rare as unicorns. Your conversations are just regular and you don’t talk that much about yourself, your wishes, or some other abstract themes which require a little bit more effort.
7. You don’t call each other honey or baby
You don’t have nicknames (or you did but for some reason you stopped calling each other them). Words like honey and baby don’t exist in your dictionary or are pretty well hidden. Most of the time, you call each other by simply saying, “Hey!” or when they do something bad, you even call them by their name. If you’re a guy reading this, pay close attention when she starts calling you ‘bro’.
8. You don’t spend that much time together
You don’t spend that much time together and when you do, it mainly revolves around chilling on the couch in front of the TV instead of having a nice, productive convo or doing something adventurous (and I don’t mean going to the mall).
Maybe you got bored of each other and that is why you enjoy spending more time with your friends than your partner. But if you completely abandon the idea of having quality time with your partner, they might also become one of your friends in future.
If your relationship exhibits the majority of the signs above, you might want to talk to your partner and triple your efforts when it comes to reviving the passion and intimacy. It is the only way to redirect your relationship from heading toward the friendzone.