I have always hated to spend time alone after break-ups. The winter time was especially hard for me because the days were cold and gloomy and I could not go out a lot. It was scary for me to be left alone with my very own thoughts. I would always keep my mind busy in order not to think about the heartache.
I wanted to make it clear to myself that solitude was not necessarily frightening. I was alone and felt lonely but I had time to think about everything. I had time to get to know myself better. I had time to realize what I really wanted from my life.
It was a chance to use my time wisely and forgive myself for the poor choices that I had made.
Here are the tips I used to learn how to love my solitude:
1. Learn something new!
I tried going to dance lessons. I even tried writing my own blog. It was a super fun experience. As soon as I learned new things, I automatically became a more interesting person because I had more things to share with other people. I used this opportunity to focus on my goals and all the things I had always wanted to do but never had the courage to. I did not want to grow old and gray wishing God had given me another chance to live. I wanted to use all my potential and transform all my dreams into reality. I could not let my dreams die away with me. All those “I could’ve” and I “should’ve” were replaced with “I can” and “I will”.
2. Rekindle your old friendships!
I lost contact with my old friends because I was really focused on my relationship. But now it was the perfect time to call them. I started hanging out with them from time to time and I was happy to be reminded of what a great time we used to have together. I decided I wanted them in my life again.
3. Take interest in other people!
I was too distracted with my own problems that I forgot to notice other people’s needs and worries. I started taking genuine interest in other people and I used my time to help them. I was surprised that many people were actually having the same problems as I was. And I helped them. And they helped me as well.
4. Change your attitude!
When I was alone, I had more time to appreciate little things and to be grateful for all the good things that happened in my life. I began enjoying the warm sunshine on my face and the simple fact that I was alive. I started looking at things differently. Positive thoughts surrounded me and the world looked so much better.
5. Forgive yourself!
I was, like all people, made with flaws. I made mistakes. I chose bad, unhealthy relationships. I let people lie to me, cheat on me and take advantage of me. I chose poor health choices. I talked down to myself. It was a vicious cycle.
I was angry with other people for taking advantage of me and angry with myself for letting them take advantage of me. I was angry for letting bad people in my life. But I realized that I could not handle all that bitterness caused by the decisions that I myself made.
It was time for me to leave that all behind. I could not go forward to the future if I had regrets about my past. I had to let go and forgive myself. And I did. I forgave myself and it was liberating.