I decided to write this article because I’m urged to inform the rest of humanity about the phenomenon of not being ready for a relationship because the same thing happened to me and a few people that I know.
After a break-up, during the time when I was single for a couple of months, I was really unhappy and depressed and I thought that the main cause of it was because I was still single.
I foolishly thought that if I entered a new relationship, I would be magically cured and finally happy.
But it didn’t work out that way.
My rushing into a relationship ended up really badly and the same thing happened to some of my friends as well, who were also single at that time.
Back then, I didn’t know that relationships cannot be forced and desperately trying to enter a new one will bring you nothing but the feeling of disappointment.
Relationships happen naturally and sometimes you’re just not ready to be in one and the more you (subconsciously) force it, the more you will just be unhappy.
If you’re feeling the same way or you suspect that this might be the case with you or someone you know, keep reading the following 8 signs which mean that you are not ready to be in a relationship!
1. You feel desperate
If, for various reasons, you feel desperate at some point in your life, it is never a good idea to enter a relationship with someone.
Being desperate means being negatively wired, which also means attracting people into your life with the same ‘quality’.
If you’re feeling this way, you will definitely have difficulties in relationships and that is why it is wise to first collect your own thoughts and find your inner peace because nothing else will help you.
If you enter a relationship like this, it will be doomed and if you happen to find someone, the chances are that he will feel the same way as you, which is never a good combination when it comes to establishing a healthy and happy relationship.
2. You want to change for others
While it is okay to be willing to change some of your ‘bad’ habits for someone you like, it is never a good idea to be willing to change yourself completely or do whatever they ask of you.
If you are ready to do this, you are not ready to be in a relationship because you need to work on yourself first.
You need to accept yourself in the state you’re currently in and understand why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling.
Only then will you find your true happiness and only then will you be ready to be with someone.
3. You want to save others
Desperately wanting to save someone is always toxic when it comes to relationships.
You need to understand that you’re not responsible for other people’s behavior or happiness.
If you keep trying hard to help them and change them, even though they are not willing to cooperate or do it alone, your relationship will fail even before it actually starts.
Wanting to be someone’s savior at the cost of your own happiness has never brought anything good to anyone.
You should save yourself first and then think about saving others (but only if they are also willing to save themselves).
4. You think relationships are everything in life
Many people think that relationships play the most important part of our life.
Indeed, they are important but they are not everything in life.
If you think the same thing, it is likely that you’ll feel desperate about being single because you haven’t achieved your goal of being happy with someone in a relationship.
You need to know that relationships cannot be forced or rushed.
As already said, they happen naturally and everything else is just faking and forcing, which will eventually end up badly.
Relationships are important but what is more important is your own happiness and well-being.
When you learn to love yourself the way you want to love others, you will be ready for one.
5. You still think about your ex
If you still think about your ex and you think that entering a new relationship will delete them from your mind and life, you are wrong.
Still thinking about your ex or your past means you still have feelings for them, which is totally normal.
It means you need more time to get over them and accept your break-up.
The worst thing you could do at this point is chase new relationships or potential partners.
By doing this, you will just prolong your pain and the healing process.
6. You’re unsure about your feelings
If you’re unsure about your feelings, it means you don’t know what you want, you don’t understand your feelings and you’re not ready to be in a relationship.
If you keep playing hot and cold with potential partners, it means you’re deceiving yourself and you just need more time alone to get in touch with your inner self.
Your feelings are the most complex thing in the whole world and if you yourself don’t understand them, no one else will be able to.
Only when you’re one hundred percent sure about your feelings will you be able to share your life with another human being.
7. You have difficulty trusting others
Having difficulty regarding trusting others is in close connection with your past experiences.
It usually means that you’ve been hurt before and now you’re scarred and incapable of trusting others.
You’re afraid that they will hurt you just like someone from your past.
Remember that it is never, ever a good idea to decide to be in a relationship with someone if you happen to have trust issues.
If you decide to do so, you will most likely be overly jealous (even for no reason), you will be wary of every single trivial thing and your relationship will soon end because it is based on an unhealthy foundation.
8. You want a savior
If you want a savior, it probably means that you’re feeling unhappy about being single and you want someone to save you from this misery and feeling of discontent. I understand you because I was in the same boat.
But believe me, nothing and no one can save you from yourself.
Even if you meet someone who seems to be perfect for you, you will again be unhappy over time because they will not be able to save you.
They might love you and show you that they care about you but know that they will never be able to save you.
The only person who can save you is you. And you will do so by changing your priorities and becoming a complete person.