Why does it seem that all we are doing is going to extremes? In the past, people usually used to wait until they were married to have sex as opposed to today, where they usually have sex on the first date.
I am not saying we should wait for marriage or even sincere love (unless for some reason we decide to do so); I am just saying we shouldn’t make it so easy either. We should wait at least a little while.
Take a look at the reasons to hold off sex at the beginning of a relationship that will show you why waiting is actually a good idea:
1. Delayed gratification
By waiting for a certain time to have sex, we are increasing our chances to make it amazing. Before the actual sexual act, foreplay takes place in our mind.
By waiting, we allow our sexual tensions to grow, we build anticipation and there is a sense of mystery that makes us eager to take each other’s clothes off.
When there is so much chemistry in the air, waiting is anything but easy; it will require enormous amounts of determination and self-discipline but when you think about the end goal, which is increasing pleasure, everything becomes a bit more bearable.
2. Forming emotional bonds
When we hold off sex early on, we give other aspects of the relationship time to progress. We get to know the person we are with without sex getting in the way.
Let’s face it—who has time for deep conversations and really getting to know each other when our bodies do all the talking.
Holding off of sex gives you enough time to form emotional connections and form trust. It will make you feel more comfortable around another person.
Sex won’t be just sex, it will be so much more intimate. If you are looking for something long-term, it’s a good idea to connect emotionally first.
3. False sense of attachment
When you have sex early on in a relationship, it can provoke feelings of closeness and attachment. You can easily catch yourself going too fast.
What you feel and what you know in your mind won’t be the same. You will be aware that you barely know the person but you will get this false feeling of love and connection.
Most people can’t separate emotions from sex, even if they want to. If you caught yourself moving too fast after casual sex, being obsessed or too clingy, maybe that’s a sign to slow things down.
Also when our judgment is clouded by this false feeling of attachment, it’s easier to overlook a person who is utterly wrong for us in every aspect. Be careful.
4. Sex isn’t glue
Although it can feel like that sometimes. There are a lot of people who think that sex will bring them closer to the object of their infatuation.
We can’t tie people to us using sex. We can’t make anybody stay if there is nothing more to it.
Sure, sex can make you spend a certain period of time together. However, sex itself is not enough to make a person commit.
If there is no substance or a deeper connection, not even the greatest sex in the world will make things function.
5. Lowering the risk of having regrets
If you sleep with someone you met hours or even days ago, there is a big chance you will regret it.
Looks can be deceiving and people are not always as great as they make themselves out to be.
Take it slow and have no regrets. Be sure of what you feel before getting more intimate with somebody.
One more risk you are getting yourself into is an STD, which is pretty common these days.
If you don’t know anything about your sexual partner’s history, you can’t be sure that your health isn’t on the line here.
6. No need to rush
We live in an era where everything is moving so fast. So by default, we see no reason to wait around for anything.
But where are we really rushing to? If we are forming a relationship with somebody, won’t we have plenty of days ahead of us or even a lifetime to make love?
Also if you feel pressured to sleep with somebody you are not really that much into because you are afraid that they will perceive you as a prude then that’s one more reason not to do it.
You shouldn’t care what other people think or do anything that makes you feel even a tiny bit uncomfortable.
7. Decluttering the wrong guys
If not having sex right away is a deal-breaker for someone, you will immediately know where you stand.
The one who is looking for something more than just sex won’t have a problem waiting for a while.
Spending time with you and getting to know you better should be more than enough for someone who is really into you and open to the possibility of something more committed and meaningful.
8. Social pressure
It’s easy to feel like you are missing out when everyone around you is having sex and you are living the life of a celibate monk.
It’s normal to crave sex and miss it but that doesn’t mean you should be with just anybody.
Especially if you are leaning more toward something meaningful.
One-night stands and random hook-ups will maybe provide instant gratification but will most likely make you feel empty on the inside. So don’t compare yourself with anybody.
Think about what you really want from all of it before engaging in something that’s not right for you.
9. Going back to basics
There is so much more to physical intimacy than simply having sex and it seems like we should be reminded of it.
By not going all the way but showing glimpses of what’s coming, the anticipation just gets bigger and bigger. It awakens our imagination and makes us crave sex even more.
Remember what you read in reason #1 about delaying gratification and achieving greater pleasure? Well, this is the best way of getting there.