Marriage isn’t always sunshine, love songs, and perfectly filtered vacation photos. It’s also deciding who’s taking out the trash, surviving IKEA furniture assembly, and figuring out how one person can possibly use that many coffee mugs in a day.
But while every couple has their ups and downs, some avoid the dreaded D-word better than others. How? By learning what not to do—straight from the people who deal with breakups for a living: divorce lawyers. They’ve seen it all, and they know the sneaky habits that can slowly sabotage a relationship.
So, if you want to keep your love story intact (and avoid those pricey legal fees), here are some simple, expert-approved tips to divorce-proof your marriage.
1. Communication is Key
We hear it all the time, yet good communication is often the first thing to slip through the cracks in a marriage. Picture this: you’re two actors in a play, and your lines are your thoughts and feelings. Missing a cue can lead to confusion on stage. Keep the dialogue open and honest, and remember, your partner isn’t a mind reader.
Make it a ritual to share the big and small things. Remember, communication isn’t just about talking; it involves listening too. When your partner speaks, give them your full attention. This isn’t the time to multitask or let your mind wander. So grab a coffee, sit down, and let the words flow! A simple chat can be the best therapy.
2. Laugh Together
Laughter—it’s often said to be the best medicine, and in marriage, it’s no different. The power of a shared giggle can mend a rift and strengthen a bond. Think of laughter as the sweet icing on the cake of your relationship; it adds joy and flavor. Embrace the silly moments and the inside jokes that only you two understand.
A regular dose of humor can act as a pressure valve, releasing stress and fostering joy. Attend a comedy show, watch a funny movie, or engage in playful banter. These moments become cherished memories that remind you both of the joy you’ve built together. In every chuckle, there’s a reminder of why you chose each other.
3. Date Your Partner
Remember those early days when every outing felt like an adventure? Reignite that excitement by dating your partner again. Just because you’ve tied the knot doesn’t mean the courtship should stop. Plan a romantic dinner or a spontaneous day trip; the goal is to create space to reconnect. Dating keeps the spark alive and reminds you both of what drew you together in the first place.
It’s easy to get caught up in daily routines, but setting aside time for each other ensures that you remain a priority in each other’s lives. When you plan these dates, think of them as mini-vacations from reality. They provide a break from the mundane and offer fresh perspectives on each other. Remember, the foundation of a thriving marriage is the friendship you nurture along the way.
4. Embrace Individuality
Marriage unites two individuals, but that doesn’t mean you lose your individuality. Embracing each other’s uniqueness is a crucial part of a healthy relationship. Encourage your partner’s hobbies, passions, and dreams. Maybe one of you loves painting while the other is an avid reader. Support each other’s growth, and you’ll find that this mutual respect strengthens your bond.
After all, it’s your differences that add flavor to the relationship. It’s essential to carve out time for yourselves to pursue individual interests. This doesn’t mean growing apart; instead, it allows you to grow together as well-rounded individuals. When you return to your shared space, you bring fresh experiences and perspectives, enriching the relationship.
5. Set Relationship Goals
Like any successful venture, a thriving marriage benefits from clear goals. Setting relationship goals gives you both something to strive for and assures alignment in your journey together. These goals can range from financial aspirations to personal growth targets or even travel plans. The key is to dream together, plan together, and achieve together.
As you work towards these goals, you’ll find a sense of purpose and direction within your partnership. It’s important to revisit these objectives regularly and adjust them as needed. Life is full of changes, and being flexible ensures you grow together rather than apart.
6. Practice Forgiveness
Mistakes are part of the human experience, and in marriage, they’re inevitable. Holding onto grudges only breeds resentment, so practice forgiveness like it’s a muscle you need to strengthen. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting; it means acknowledging the hurt and choosing to move forward. It’s like cleaning a wound—necessary for healing.
When you forgive, you release the burden of anger and open the door to healing and reconciliation. Remember, you’re a team, and teams stick together through thick and thin. By letting go of past grievances, you make room for growth and understanding. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
7. Share Responsibilities
Running a household is no small feat, and sharing responsibilities can make it a more enjoyable endeavor. Think of it as a dance, where each partner knows their steps and moves in harmony with the other. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or managing finances, finding a balance that works for both of you is key. Sharing responsibilities not only alleviates stress but also strengthens your partnership.
It fosters a sense of teamwork and equality, where both partners feel valued and respected. Regular check-ins can ensure that tasks are distributed fairly and adjusted as needed. Remember, this isn’t about keeping score; it’s about working together to create a home where both of you can thrive.
8. Keep Surprises Alive
A little surprise can go a long way in keeping the romance alive. It’s like sprinkling a bit of magic into the everyday. These surprises don’t have to be grand gestures; sometimes, the simplest acts hold the most meaning. Think handwritten notes, surprise picnics, or an unexpected favorite treat. These small tokens of love remind your partner that they’re cherished.
Surprises break the monotony of routine and rekindle the spark that brought you together. They demonstrate thoughtfulness and an understanding of what makes your partner smile. When you surprise each other, you keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
9. Cuddle Often
Physical affection is the unsung hero of many successful marriages. Never underestimate the power of a good cuddle. It’s like wrapping each other in a warm, comforting blanket of love. Cuddling releases oxytocin, the ‘love hormone,’ which strengthens your emotional connection and reduces stress. It’s a simple yet profound way to show your partner that you care.
In those quiet moments of closeness, words become unnecessary. It’s the perfect opportunity to simply be present with each other. Whether it’s a morning snuggle or an evening embrace, make it a daily ritual. These moments of physical connection ground you and serve as a reminder of the love you share.
10. Be Each Other’s Cheerleader
Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader; their victories are your victories. Celebrate the milestones, big and small, and offer encouragement when the going gets tough. This isn’t just about applauding their achievements; it’s about being there during the challenges too.
Stand by them and give them the confidence to pursue their dreams. Even when they stumble, your unwavering belief can be the catalyst they need to rise again. Be the voice in their corner, the one that says, “You’ve got this.” In doing so, you cultivate a relationship built on mutual respect and admiration.
11. Create a Safe Space
A safe space is like a cozy nook where both partners feel heard, respected, and cherished. It’s an environment where you can share your thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. Establishing this haven requires open communication and trust. It’s about being present and empathetic, creating a space where vulnerability is met with understanding.
Regular check-ins can help maintain this safe space, ensuring that both partners feel secure and valued. It’s an ongoing process, evolving as your relationship grows. The beauty of this space lies in its ability to deepen your connection and reinforce your partnership.
12. Grow Together
Growth is a vital part of any relationship, and marriage is no exception. Growing together means embracing change and learning from each other’s experiences. Life is a journey, and the best adventures are shared. Encourage each other’s personal development and celebrate the milestones along the way. Whether it’s learning a new skill or exploring a new hobby, growth adds depth to your relationship.
It’s important to keep an open mind and remain flexible as your journey unfolds. Life will throw curveballs, but facing them together strengthens your bond. As you adapt and evolve, you’ll find that your relationship becomes more resilient and enriched. Growing together ensures that you’re not just two individuals living parallel lives but partners forging a shared path.
13. Have Fun Together
Fun is the secret ingredient that keeps a marriage vibrant and alive. It’s the zest that adds flavor to your relationship. Make time for activities that bring you joy and laughter. Whether it’s trying out a new board game, going for a bike ride, or embarking on a spontaneous adventure, these moments create lasting memories.
Fun is an essential part of keeping the spark alive. It reminds you both of the joy and playfulness that drew you together in the first place. When you have fun together, you strengthen your bond and create a treasure trove of shared experiences. In the end, it’s not just about living together; it’s about truly enjoying each other’s company.
14. Maintain Mystery
Mystery isn’t about keeping secrets but about sustaining curiosity and interest in each other. It’s like reading a captivating novel where each page holds a new surprise. Maintaining a sense of mystery keeps the relationship exciting and dynamic. Allow room for individuality and personal growth.
When you give each other space to explore new interests, you bring fresh energy into the relationship. It’s about finding the balance between being an open book and a thrilling read. Sense of mystery invites discovery and keeps the relationship alive with intrigue. It reminds you both that there’s always more to learn about one another.
15. Cultivate Compassion
Compassion is the soft whisper that says, “I understand, and I care.” It’s the gentle touch that reassures and the kind word that soothes. Cultivating compassion within your marriage creates a foundation of empathy and support. It means being there for each other during life’s ups and downs, offering a listening ear or a comforting hug.
Compassion is an expression of love in its purest form. It involves understanding your partner’s perspective and offering kindness without judgment. This practice deepens your connection and fosters a sense of belonging. In a world that can often feel harsh, compassion serves as a balm for the soul. It’s a reminder that, no matter what, you have each other’s backs.
16. Celebrate Differences
Differences aren’t roadblocks; they’re the scenic routes on your journey together. Celebrating your unique qualities adds color and depth to your marriage. It’s like a tapestry woven with diverse threads, each contributing to the beauty of the whole. Embrace your individuality and recognize that your differences are part of what makes your relationship special.
These variations can be sources of learning and growth. By appreciating each other’s perspectives, you cultivate a sense of respect and admiration. Differences challenge you to step outside your comfort zones and explore new territories. They broaden your horizons and enrich your experiences. Rather than seeing them as obstacles, view them as opportunities for connection and understanding.
17. Practice Kindness
Kindness is the gentle thread that weaves love and harmony into the fabric of your marriage. It’s the small acts of care and consideration that speak volumes. Practicing kindness means going out of your way to make your partner feel valued and appreciated. It could be leaving a sweet note, preparing their favorite meal, or simply offering a warm smile.
These gestures create a positive atmosphere that nurtures your relationship. It’s important to practice kindness not just in grand gestures but in everyday interactions. When you make kindness a habit, it becomes a natural part of your relationship.
18. Prioritize Intimacy
Intimacy is the sacred connection that binds you together in a marriage. It’s not just about physical closeness but also emotional and spiritual bonding. Prioritizing intimacy means making space for moments of genuine connection. It’s about being present, attentive, and open with each other.
Intimacy involves vulnerability and trust, allowing you to be your true selves without fear of judgment. It’s the quiet moments of understanding and the shared glances that speak volumes. It’s a reminder that, beyond the chaos of daily life, you have a place of refuge in each other’s arms.
19. Give the Benefit of the Doubt
Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings, but giving your partner the benefit of the doubt fosters trust and goodwill. Approach situations with empathy and understanding rather than jumping to conclusions. When you choose to see the best in each other, you create an atmosphere of positivity and support. This doesn’t mean ignoring issues but rather addressing them with an open mind and heart.
Giving the benefit of the doubt encourages honest communication and transparency. It allows for constructive dialogue and problem-solving. By choosing to trust in each other’s intentions, you build a solid foundation of mutual respect and confidence.
20. Take Time for Self-Care
Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s an essential part of maintaining a healthy relationship. Taking time for yourself allows you to recharge and rejuvenate, bringing your best self to the partnership. It’s like refilling your cup so that you can pour love and energy into your marriage. Encourage each other to prioritize self-care, whether it’s through exercise, meditation, or simply taking a break.
Self-care also sets a positive example for your partner, showing them that it’s okay to prioritize their needs. When both partners are happy and fulfilled, the relationship thrives. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, so take the time to care for yourself and watch how it positively impacts your marriage. A little self-love goes a long way.
21. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is the golden thread that weaves joy and appreciation into your relationship. Practicing gratitude means recognizing and valuing each other’s efforts and contributions. It’s about acknowledging the small gestures that often go unnoticed. This practice creates a positive atmosphere and fosters a sense of appreciation for one another.
Gratitude is a powerful tool for nurturing love and connection. By focusing on the good and expressing thankfulness, you reinforce the bond that holds you together. Consider starting a gratitude journal or sharing three things you’re grateful for each day.
22. Be Open to Change
Change is an inevitable part of life, and being open to it is essential in a marriage. Embracing change means adapting to new circumstances and being willing to grow together. It’s like riding a wave; sometimes it’s smooth sailing, and other times you need to hold on tight. When you approach change with an open mind, you create opportunities for growth and transformation.
Being open to change involves flexibility and resilience. It means letting go of rigid expectations and embracing the unknown. Change can be challenging, but it’s also a chance to strengthen your bond and learn from each other.
23. Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, navigating the complexities of marriage requires a little extra guidance. Seeking professional help is a proactive step towards addressing issues and fostering a healthy relationship. It’s like having a compass to guide you through uncharted waters. Therapy provides a safe space to explore challenges and develop tools for effective communication and problem-solving.
Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows a commitment to nurturing your relationship and overcoming obstacles together. A therapist offers valuable insights and perspectives, helping you both gain a deeper understanding of each other.
24. Cook Together
Cooking together is more than just preparing a meal; it’s a delightful dance of collaboration and creativity. It’s a chance to connect, share, and savor the moment. When you cook together, you create a symphony of flavors and memories. It’s about teamwork, communication, and enjoying the fruits of your labor.
The kitchen becomes a stage where you can experiment, learn, and grow together. Cooking is a sensory experience that engages all your senses. It’s an opportunity to step away from the hustle and bustle of daily life and focus on each other. Sharing a meal you’ve prepared together is a celebration of your partnership.
25. Explore New Experiences
Exploring new experiences is like opening a door to endless possibilities. It breathes fresh air into your relationship and keeps the excitement alive. Trying new things together fosters a sense of adventure and discovery. Whether it’s taking a dance class, visiting a new city, or learning a new skill, these shared experiences create lasting memories.
They remind you both of the joy of exploration and the thrill of stepping outside your comfort zones. Embrace the unknown with open hearts and minds, and watch how it enriches your relationship. It’s a reminder that, no matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always more to discover.
26. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the art of being present and fully engaged in the moment. It’s about savoring the here and now, without distraction or judgment. Practicing mindfulness within your marriage creates a sense of calm and connection. It means being attuned to each other’s needs and emotions, fostering a deeper understanding and empathy.
Mindfulness encourages active listening and open communication, allowing for more meaningful interactions. It’s a reminder to slow down and appreciate the beauty of your relationship. That way, you create a space where love can flourish and grow.
27. Give Compliments
Compliments are the sweet whispers that nurture love and appreciation. They’re the little tokens of admiration that brighten your partner’s day. Giving compliments means recognizing and celebrating each other’s strengths and qualities. It’s about acknowledging the efforts and achievements that often go unnoticed.
Compliments are a reminder of the admiration and respect you hold for each other. Make it a habit to offer genuine, heartfelt compliments regularly. Whether it’s about their appearance, skills, or personality, let your partner know how much they mean to you.
28. Focus on Solutions
Focusing on solutions means shifting the perspective from problems to possibilities. It’s about approaching challenges with a proactive mindset and a willingness to collaborate. In a marriage, this practice fosters a sense of teamwork and resilience. When faced with a problem, take a step back and explore potential solutions together.
This approach encourages open communication and creative problem-solving. It’s a reminder that you’re in this together, and there’s no challenge too big to tackle as a team.
Remember, it’s not about the size of the problem, but the strength of your partnership in overcoming it. Together, you can conquer anything that comes your way.
29. Be Patient
Patience is the gentle thread that weaves understanding and harmony into the fabric of your marriage. It’s the quiet strength that allows you to navigate challenges with grace and empathy. Practicing patience means giving each other the time and space to grow and learn.
Patience fosters a sense of calm and acceptance within the relationship. It allows you to approach situations with an open heart and mind. By practicing patience, you create a supportive environment where love can flourish. It’s a reminder that true connection takes time and effort.
30. Show Appreciation
Appreciation is the warm embrace that wraps your partner in love and gratitude. It’s about recognizing and valuing each other’s contributions and efforts. Showing appreciation means expressing your gratitude through words and actions.
Appreciation is a powerful tool for nurturing love and connection. By focusing on the good and expressing thankfulness, you strengthen your bond and build a foundation of love and support. Remind your partner of their worth and significance in your life.
31. Establish Boundaries
Boundaries are the invisible lines that define your personal space and protect your individuality. Establishing boundaries within a marriage creates a sense of respect and understanding. It’s about recognizing each other’s needs and honoring them. Boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy balance between togetherness and independence.
They allow you to navigate the relationship with clarity and confidence. By establishing boundaries, you create a safe space where both partners feel valued and respected. Boundaries are not about building walls but about creating a framework for mutual respect and understanding. They serve as a reminder that your relationship is a partnership built on trust and empathy.
32. Be Playful
Playfulness is the spark that ignites joy and spontaneity in a marriage. It’s the lighthearted moments that bring laughter and connection. Being playful means embracing your inner child and savoring the simple joys of life. It’s about finding humor in the everyday and creating moments of fun and silliness.
Playfulness adds a touch of magic to your relationship, reminding you of the joy and wonder that first brought you together. It fosters a sense of camaraderie and intimacy, strengthening your bond. Embrace the playful side of your relationship, whether it’s through games, jokes, or spontaneous adventures.
33. Express Love Daily
Love is the beautiful melody that harmonizes your journey together. Expressing love daily is the gentle reminder of your commitment and devotion. It’s about making each day a celebration of your relationship. Express love through words, actions, and gestures that resonate with your partner. Whether it’s a heartfelt “I love you,” a tender touch, or a thoughtful act of kindness, these expressions of love strengthen your bond.
They serve as a reminder that your relationship is a cherished treasure. By expressing love daily, you create a loving, nurturing environment where your connection can flourish. It’s a reminder that, in the hustle and bustle of life, love remains the constant guiding light.
34. Reflect on Your Journey
Reflection is the mirror that reveals the beauty and growth of your journey together. It’s the opportunity to pause and appreciate the milestones and memories you’ve created as a couple. Reflecting on your journey means revisiting the moments of joy, laughter, and challenges that have shaped your relationship. It’s about acknowledging the growth and transformation that have occurred over time.
This practice fosters a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the path you’ve traveled. It’s a reminder that, despite the ups and downs, your relationship is a proof of your commitment and resilience. Make it a habit to reflect on your journey together, whether through conversations, photo albums, or shared experiences.
35. Avoid Comparisons
Comparisons are the thief of joy, especially in a marriage. Avoiding comparisons means appreciating your unique relationship for what it is, rather than measuring it against others. It’s about recognizing that every partnership has its own rhythm and journey.
This practice fosters a sense of contentment and fulfillment within your relationship. It allows you to focus on the strengths and qualities that make your partnership special. Remember, your love story is uniquely yours, and it’s a masterpiece in its own right. Let it be the source of inspiration and happiness.
36. Practice Active Listening
Active listening is the art of truly hearing and understanding your partner. It’s about being present and engaged in the moment, without distractions or interruptions. Practicing active listening means giving your partner your full attention and showing empathy and understanding.
This practice fosters a sense of trust and connection within your relationship. By actively listening, you create a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other’s perspectives. It allows you to navigate challenges with empathy and compassion. Make it a habit to practice active listening regularly, whether during conversations, discussions, or simply sharing a quiet moment together.
37. Embrace Vulnerability
Vulnerability is the delicate dance of openness and trust within a marriage. It’s about sharing your true self with your partner, without fear of judgment or rejection. It means allowing yourself to be seen and known, creating a deeper connection and intimacy. By being vulnerable, you open the door to genuine understanding and empathy.
This practice fosters a sense of safety and security within your relationship. It allows you to navigate challenges with honesty and compassion. Embrace vulnerability as a tool for nurturing your connection and strengthening your bond. Let it be the foundation of trust and love that sustains your marriage.