He told you he was broken. He told you that your tender love could heal his broken heart and you fell for it. Loving him deeply, unconditionally, had become your main priority but let me tell you this: you couldn’t heal him. No matter how many times he told you that he only needed one more chance, no matter how many times he cried in front of you to make you feel sorry for him, you’re just throwing away your precious time and efforts. He can’t be changed. You are not the one who’s going to heal him. He’s not worth the fight.
Just think about it for a quick moment; you were strong enough to stay single until your heart was healed and you could love again without the fear of hurting someone. You didn’t want anyone to help you, you didn’t need anyone to help you, because you knew that this was the right way to heal your broken pieces. You fought with it all by yourself and isn’t that what he’s supposed to do, as well?
He didn’t ask for a healer, he asked for pity. He asked for someone he could use as an option on the days when he was bored. He didn’t ask for your love, he asked for your undivided attention. When you look back at it now, he’s only been taking advantage of your love and kindness and there is really nothing he gives in return.
You were making so many excuses for his behavior, thinking that he was only broken and that it influenced his personality. You convinced yourself that he didn’t mean the harsh words he was telling you and that his voice was only raised when it hurt him too much. But you didn’t deserve to be the one taking all of his aggressiveness into yourself to hold inside.
I’m sorry to break it to you like this but holding all of his broken pieces doesn’t mean that you are not falling apart as well. You’re breaking because of his disrespect for your efforts. You’re breaking apart as well but you’re too focused on him to actually see what he’s doing to you. Take a moment and look at yourself. He changed you into the person you’ve become today; can you even recognize yourself anymore?
Leaving him isn’t selfish. Leaving him doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It means that you have finally gathered the strength to move on and leave everything that won’t serve you in your future. I know that it’s hard to understand because at times he seemed so nice, it seemed like he was on the right path to heal and become a better person, but it was just a phase that gave you a glimpse of the person you want him to become. I know that you want him to change, you want him to stop hurting, you want it all to become easier for the both of you, but that’s not something you can do on your own. He needs to fight with you. It’s a lost battle if you’re the only one fighting!
Realize how many times he begged for one more chance, then deceived you again. Remember every time you were there for him to make him feel better and all those times he wasn’t there for you. Remember every time he used you. Stop for a moment and listen to your heart that’s aching. He’s not going to change. You are not the one responsible of healing him. He can only heal himself if he really wants it to happen.