Did I believe I was ready to commit? Yes. Was I wrong? Also yes.
This time, it really was me. I’m not trying to protect my ex but I need to be sincere and say that it really wasn’t him, it was me.
All my life, I was this girl who couldn’t wait to fall in love and commit to a man who’d love me back even more but then… poof.
All those dreams fell apart as if they never existed.
First of all, I need to say how sorry I am for disappointing and hurting a man who sincerely loved me.
I’m sorry, it wasn’t on purpose, it’s just… it took me a while to understand that I’m really not ready to commit yet.
If you’re worried that you might have the same commitment issues, welcome to the club and check out these signs that greatly helped me to realize how things really are.
Always questioning the relationship
Even though I really had strong feelings for my ex-boyfriend, I was never quite sure that he was the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.
Our relationship was a good and healthy one but I was always questioning it.
I was never sure of his feelings even though he proved to me so many times that they were sincere.
Afterward, I concluded that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him, nor our relationship; the real problem was that I wasn’t ready for a relationship.
Opening up to my partner was too difficult
I was always saying that any man I dated had to also be my best friend. That’s really important for the relationship.
You must be sure that you believe your partner and that you can talk to them about everything, but really everything, from the most beautiful moments of your life to the darkest ones.
Unfortunately, I realized that he wasn’t my best friend because I was never able to fully open up to him.
Again, that wasn’t his fault because he was a really good man, the issue was my hidden fear to commit.
Talks about our future were always off limits
Believe me, he tried so many times to have ‘the talk’ about our relationship with me. But I successfully avoided it every time.
I always used some excuses just because I was aware of the fact that I was not ready to be tied down and I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
I now know it was wrong because now he thinks that I was just stringing him along, which really isn’t the truth.
I never involved him in my future plans
Well, maybe I didn’t want to make any future plans with him but I had so many for myself. I had so many dreams and goals for the future.
The thing is, I never involved him in any of those, like I always knew that it was not going to work and that we wouldn’t stay together.
It’s another way that my inner voice was telling me that I wasn’t ready for that kind of relationship, to commit, but I hadn’t wanted to hear it for so long unfortunately.
Constantly criticizing my partner
We started fighting even about some little things and to be honest, I was the one who started all those fights.
No matter what he did or how he behaved, I was constantly criticizing him.
Now when I think about it, I only wanted to make him break up with me so I didn’t have to do it myself.
You may think that it’s a little bit selfish but I really wanted to make it less painful for him.
I asked for too much personal space
We all need some personal space when we’re in a relationship but I really asked for too much of it.
I was happier when I was alone than I was when we were together.
I understand that it was how I started moving away from my ex more and more every day.
I’m so sorry for not understanding all these signs sooner because I made it all more painful for both of us.
The word ‘compromise’ wasn’t in my vocabulary
I was aware, and I still am, that compromising is essential if both partners want their relationship to succeed.
However, I was never ready to compromise on anything with my ex.
I had my own opinions about things and my own way of how things should be done and I didn’t want to change them for him.
That’s the main reason we had so many disagreements in our relationship.
Our relationship was never my main priority
My family and all of my friends were always more important than my ex-partner. It was so wrong of me because your loved one must always be your number one priority in life.
It wasn’t because I wanted to hurt him or anything like that, I just didn’t want to commit so I knew that our relationship wouldn’t last for the rest of our lives.
We all have the right to live the life we want and do the things we like. If you don’t want to be tied down, don’t.
The worst decision you could make is to accept to spend your life with someone just because you’ve been dating for some time but the truth is that you don’t actually want to commit to anyone.