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Attraction Can Build Over Time? This Man Believes You Should Give That Guy A Chance

Attraction Can Build Over Time? This Man Believes You Should Give That Guy A Chance

To tell you the truth, I didn’t really like my fiance right after I met him. He was just not my type. Okay, he was really funny and easygoing, but those were not the qualities I was looking for.

I preferred men who would engage in deep conversations about the existential problems of modern life and other more serious topics. His jokes were funny, but there was no spark. I thought, “Okay, one date, and that’s it.”

Then, for some reason, I went on a second, and a third date… until I learned to appreciate his qualities and committed to a relationship. Apparently, I knew what I wanted but didn’t really know what I NEEDED. Luckily, it turned out for the best.

While thinking about why we tend to like those who’re not good for us, and why our wants are not aligned with our needs, I came across a video where…

A relationship coach claims attraction can build over time

He starts with a statement: women are aware that there is a considerable percent of men who are really looking for a committed relationship, but…

“The problem is most of you ladies don’t wanna date these guys. And let’s be honest, alright, most single women that hire me for coaching tell me something like this. I know two or three guys that are super sweet and always treat me kindly but… I don’t really like them.”

Then he explains that while rejecting the idea of dating those they don’t like, women have a hard time making it work with the men they want. Oftentimes, these men ignore them and play games. He’s not saying women should lower their standards:

“My point is that attraction can build over time with someone if you give them a chance. But if you see you only keep falling for dishonest men, then beautiful, we’ve got some healing to do.”

So, should we give it a chance and see if we can develop the attraction for men we don’t like at first sight? Is this even possible?

This is an interesting argument, I would say, and worth considering. However, let’s see what the public opinion on TikTok says about this standpoint.

As one user believes:

“It’s either there or it’s not”

Some commenters believed this couldn’t be possible, and the relationship coach tried to reassure them saying that a spark can turn into a fire. Someone suggested why he doesn’t try convincing men to date women they don’t like. But there were also agreeable comments:

A user named Panashe, made a funny observation about how it’s impossible to build attraction with a guy who doesn’t have it for her.

Some commenters spiced the discussion by trying to be funny, too:

“But I am emotionally unavailable i have been like that since a kid. Is being emotionally unavailable a bad thing?”

Talking about emotional availability, Laura believes those who are emotionally unavailable are the best guys. Still, the relationship coach claims such men don’t really exist.

I guess he believes they are not unavailable when they are with the right person. All of us can remember at least one man who pretended not to be into commitment but then he met someone, and surprisingly, everything changed for him.

A user, Creda_B, agreed and confirmed that it’s possible to build an attraction over time. Another user, Angie, had a bad experience with giving a chance to a “nice guy” who turned out to be a dishonest person who played her.

TheSunsetTrash said she can’t force herself to like the guys who she knows are into a commitment, she simply finds them unattractive. At the same time, attractive men are not bothered by the idea of a relationship while those less successful with women desire it.

Then, there’s CLAUDIA J, who believes that it’s not possible:

“Um Noooooooo, I know within the first 5 seconds of meeting someone. No attraction doesn’t build up. If I’m not physically attracted it’s Noooo.”

Other comments confirm the same experience: if they don’t feel it right at the beginning, there’s no chance chemistry will develop over time, “it’s either there or it’s not”.

Some people admit they gave it a try, but it didn’t work out, and there is the possibility that you build an attachment but not a real attraction.

But then mothermayo gave a different insight claiming that relationships can turn out better if “started from the bottom and blossom into something beautiful.”

SAL’S replied to his note on healing, asking what he meant by that. I mean, really, what type of healing was he talking about?

Then, some comments made it more clear:

So, what do you think? Do you believe that nice guy could be worth trying even if you don’t really like him?

Based on my experience, I would say, go for it girl! My fiance couldn’t be further from what I preferred, and now he’s the most attractive man in my eyes.

Every day, I think how thankful I am for having him in my life. I can’t believe I even considered rejecting him when he invited me on a date.