If you’re considering dating a single mom, you should definitely be aware of some potential dating a single mom red flags.
While single moms are often great partners and can bring a lot of joy to a relationship, there are some important red flags to keep an eye out for.
Dating a single mom can be an exciting yet nerve-wracking experience. While there are many positives to dating a single parent, you should definitely consider whether a single mom is a good long-term partner for you!
Watch Out For These 12 Dating A Single Mom Red Flags
With a single mom’s unconditional love and support, you’ll have the best partner you could ever ask for.
But be prepared to have your plans rearranged at the last minute, and be okay with not always being the center of her attention.
What are the real deal breakers? Let’s find out!
1. On a first date: “You should definitely meet my kids.’’
Imagine the situation: you’re on a first date with a single mom, and she immediately tells you how good an idea it would be for you to meet her kids.
Although she may have good intentions, many would consider this a huge red flag because you might think that she’s rushing into a relationship too quickly. There’s nothing wrong with meeting her kids but everything should happen naturally.
2. Prioritizing you over her children: “No, no, don’t worry. I’ll make it tonight.’’
Single moms have a lot of demands on their time, and it should be a red flag if she starts prioritizing you over her children.
Although having a romantic partner can bring joy and companionship, it should never be at the cost of neglecting her duties as a parent.
Here’s how Better Help supports this argument: “The fact of the matter is that if a woman, or any single parent for that matter, neglected their children to spend time with their romantic partners, it would serve as an immediate red flag. The manner in which a person handles responsibilities greatly speaks to who they are as individuals.”
3. Constant talking about her ex: ‘‘When Lucas and I were together…’’
Are you dating a single mom who can’t stop talking about her ex? If so, it’s time for you to raise a red flag!
No one wants to hear about their partner’s ex-boyfriend. It’s uncomfortable, it’s awkward, and it can make you feel like you’re being compared to a ghost.
If she constantly talks about her ex, it can be a sign she isn’t over him yet, and that she hasn’t fully committed to the new relationship.
It’s perfectly normal to reflect on your past relationships and the lessons you’ve learned, but if she waxes poetic about her ex too often, it’s a sign something isn’t right.
4. Difficulty co-parenting with her ex-partner: ‘‘Can you please talk to him?’’
Another huge red flag is when the single mom you’re dating tries to involve you in her family problems in the early stages of your relationship.
If she has difficulty co-parenting with her ex-partner, this shouldn’t be one of your problems. You can give her a piece of advice but you shouldn’t be the one fixing her family issues.
5. Feeling overwhelmed: ‘‘I can’t take this anymore.’’
It’s not uncommon for a single mother to feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the responsibilities of raising a child. This means that you can’t expect her to be there for you all the time or to be cheerful 24/7.
NOTE: Some guys will see this as a red flag, while others won’t.
6. Expecting you to pay for everything: ‘‘Would it be a problem for you to buy this?’’
We all know that raising kids is expensive. However, this shouldn’t be an excuse to keep expecting from you to pay for everything. Splitting the bill is absolutely reasonable and if you feel like she expects too much from you when it comes to finances, then see this as a red flag.
7. In the middle of a messy divorce: ‘‘I’m too busy with court dates.’’
Although it’s not her fault, a new relationship may not be the right move right now. With court dates, legal fees, and tension between her and her ex, it’s wise to be cautious and weigh your options carefully.
If the divorce is moving quickly, she’s emotionally stable, and on good terms with her ex, it’s not a major issue. If her divorce will be finalized soon and she’s ready to date, there’s no problem with dating her!
8. Trash talking her ex: ‘‘I hate him.’’
If she constantly trash talks her ex-boyfriend, it may be a sign she still has unresolved feelings. Moreover, her attitude toward her ex-boyfriend may be an indicator of how she’ll treat you in the future.
If she speaks about her ex disrespectfully, she’ll likely do the same to you if the relationship ever goes sour. Either way, her ex shouldn’t be a major topic of conversation on a date night!
9. Dropping hints too soon: ‘‘You’ll be a great father.’’
While it may seem flattering when a single mom wants you to be a father figure to her children, it’s important to remember that parenting is a major responsibility.
Talking about you being a great father at the early stages of your relationship can be confusing. After all, you want to make sure that she’s looking for a partner and not another parent for her children.
10. Trust issues: ‘‘You’ve hurt my feelings.’’
If you’re dating a single mom with unresolved issues, you’ll often hear this. If she’s constantly angry and acts out, it might suggest that some things from her past (hint: her ex) still haunt her.
Being constantly suspicious and questioning your behavior could be a sign of trust issues. A lack of trust can be a major issue in a relationship and cause a lot of tension and conflict.
The same goes if she’s constantly shutting you out and has a lot of walls up. Being emotionally vulnerable around your partner is the only way to grow a relationship.
11. A history of toxic relationships: ‘‘My last few partners did the same thing.’’
If she’s a single mom and has had unstable relationships in the past, it can be a sign she’ll have the same type of relationship with you. It can also be a sign she has difficulty with intimacy and commitment or trust issues.
So, if she has had multiple unstable relationships, it’s a good idea to ask more questions about her past and why her relationships have been unstable.
12. Negative parenting style: Constant criticising, yelling, neglecting etc.
Parenting styles vary from person to person, and some are more effective than others. If she has a controlling or neglectful parenting style, this can be a huge problem for you, her, and her children (especially if you have a hard time mentioning it to her).
Why is it difficult to date a single mom?
Single moms may need more free time. Balancing parenting and finding time to date can be difficult.
As a single parent, their time is limited and must be managed carefully.
When you are a single parent, it is common to feel isolated from the dating scene and overwhelmed with parenting.
Additionally, some single moms come with emotional baggage from past relationships. This can make it more difficult for them to trust a new partner and make it more difficult to establish healthy and serious relationships.
For these reasons, dating a single mom requires understanding, patience, and support.
Is it worth dating a single mom?
While it may present some unique challenges, there can be many benefits to dating a single mother.
Single mothers are often more mature, independent, and self-sufficient than other women their age. They can offer greater insight into the importance of family, relationships, and life in general.
They’ve had to learn to balance their needs with their children’s. This can make them better partners, as they understand the importance of communication and compromise.
They are often more understanding of the demands of a relationship and appreciate the need for flexibility and patience, which makes them good potential partners!
Last But Not Least
Dating a single mother can be a rewarding experience, but be aware of all these dating a single mom red flags we’ve mentioned.
Keeping an open mind and communicating honestly is key to having a successful relationship with a single mom. Being aware of the potential issues that come with it can help you avoid any unnecessary issues.
So, if you’re ready to take on the challenge, remember that with a bit of effort, there’s no reason why you and your single mom can’t have a successful and happy relationship!