We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve hurt someone we care about and felt guilty about it afterward.
But how can you tell if someone feels guilty for hurting you? What are the signs she feels guilty for hurting you?
Although everyone expresses guilt differently, certain signs can help you identify when someone feels remorseful for the pain they’ve caused.
In this article, we’ll explore these signs, how to interpret them, and how to move forward healthily.
14 Undeniable Signs She Feels Guilty For Hurting You
It can be heartbreaking and devastating to realize that someone you thought you could trust has hurt you.
But sometimes, the person who hurt you will feel guilty for their actions and might even display subtle signs of guilt.
While it is important to take the time to process and heal from the hurt, understanding the signs that someone feels guilty for hurting you can help you move forward.
1. She avoids being around you
When someone has hurt another person, it’s not uncommon for them to feel guilty. This feeling of guilt can manifest in many different ways, including avoiding the person they hurt.
This is because guilt is a powerful emotion that can make us uncomfortable in certain situations.
So, she may feel so uncomfortable that she would rather avoid you altogether than come to you and talk about the problem.
2. She ignores your messages and calls
When your ex feels guilty for what she did, she won’t only avoid you in person but also ignore your text messages.
She may begin to distance herself from you to avoid confrontation and potentialy hurting you further.
A guilty person might also decide to stay away from the problem because they’re terrified of dealing with their guilt.
This behavior can be a red flag to many people because it’s obviously her fault, but she treats you like you did something wrong.
3. She’s distant
One of the common signs she feels guilty for hurting you is if she becomes distant. The feeling of guilt is a powerful emotion that can cause us to feel a sense of unease and discomfort.
This guilt may come from a place of remorse, wanting to make up for the hurt she has caused.
She may feel uncomfortable being close to you or making eye contact, knowing that she has done something that has caused you pain.
Distant behavior doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t care about you or that she doesn’t want to make amends. Instead, it’s likely a sign she feels guilty for hurting you and is struggling to find a way to make it up to you.
4. A lack of effort and enthusiasm
If you’re in a relationship and your partner exhibits a lack of effort and enthusiasm, it may be a sign that they feel guilty for hurting you.
Therefore, if your partner has been acting in a manner that looks like a lack of effort and enthusiasm, it may be because they feel guilty for the hurt they have caused.
So if she avoids physical contact, isn’t engaged in the conversation, and is generally unresponsive, she lacks enthusiasm and feels guilty for hurting you.
5. She feels bad about herself
When we hurt the people we care about, it’s natural to feel guilty. It is a form of self-blame that can be difficult to process, especially if the person causing the pain has unresolved self-esteem issues.
She can feel so bad about herself that she completely neglects her social life: you, her friends, and family members.
She can’t cope with this feeling of guilt and thinks of herself as a bad person, no matter if she did something big or if it were a little thing.
6. She tries to make you feel better
Another clear sign your significant other feels guilty for hurting you is if she does a lot of things to make you feel better.
She wants to make up for the things she did wrong and thinks that making you happy will compensate for her wrongdoings. She will encourage you, compliment you, and listen to you more intently.
But she often forgets that the only person who can make you feel better is yourself.
7. She’s overly nice
Overly nice people often feel that by being so nice, they can avoid any negative emotions or hurt feelings from the other person.
However, there are better ways to go about things, as being overly nice can actually cause more harm in the long run. In other words, if she’s overly nice to you, it can be a warning sign that you can’t take her seriously.
These aren’t genuine reactions: she is nice to you even if you aren’t good to her.
8. And overly sensitive to criticism
When someone is overly sensitive to criticism, it may be a sign they feel guilty about something they have done and are trying to protect themselves from further judgment.
When she feels guilty for hurting you, she may be more likely to react emotionally to criticism, as she feels the criticism is a direct reflection of her bad behavior.
Furthermore, she may be more likely to take the criticism personally and may not be able to take a step back and look at it objectively.
9. Constant apologies
Apologies are often offered as a way to make amends and demonstrate a level of remorse for hurting someone.
Constant apologizing can be a sign she’s struggling with her feelings of guilt and trying to make up for her actions.
This is often because she doesn’t want to feel like she has done something wrong and is trying to find the easiest way out of the situation.
10. She tries to change
The first sign of true guilt is the will to change. She knows that she did something bad, acknowledged the problem, and is willing to change.
Acknowledging her mistake is essential to the healing process and demonstrates that she is taking responsibility for her actions.
Once she has apologized and made amends, the next step is changing her behavior.
This could include anything from speaking kindly to being more mindful and understanding of your feelings. The only thing left is to be patient and wait for the results!
11. Her friends are reaching out to you
Another classic sign she feels guilty for hurting you is when her friends reach out to you on social media or in person, trying to convince you to give her a second chance.
This is their opportunity to see how you’d react and give your ex-girlfriend feedback. She probably knows you don’t want to speak to her, so she sends her friends as her last hope to make things work.
However, this can make things even worse because she doesn’t give you the necessary space and time you need after you’ve been hurt.
12. ‘‘No, it’s your fault.’’
In most cases, this happens when your loved one is looking for someone to blame to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and it’s obvious why this is a huge red flag.
It’s most common among cheaters as they will always look for excuses why they cheated. But is there really an excuse?
She may also blame you because she wants to protect herself. When someone feels vulnerable and exposed, they may want to deflect the blame onto someone else and protect themselves from the hurt.
13. She’s being defensive
When someone is defensive after they’ve hurt you, it’s likely because they’re feeling overwhelmed and out of control.
Being defensive is her way of regaining her sense of control, even if it means deflecting blame onto you. It’s easy for her to become defensive because it allows her to justify her actions, even if that justification is wrong.
She may be scared of your reaction and is now trying everything so you don’t become her ex-boyfriend.
14. She doesn’t want to talk about the incident
When someone hurts us, it can be difficult to talk about the incident. Whether it was an intentional act or an accident, the hurt can still be deep and can linger for a long time.
There are two reasons she’s acting like this: she feels ashamed or afraid of the consequences.
To face the incident means facing her own emotions, and she doesn’t want that.
What Should You Do Next?
Now that you’re aware of the signs she feels guilty for hurting you, here are some tips on how to address the issue and help your girlfriend feel better:
1. Listen to her – let your girlfriend know you’re available to listen to her and are willing to understand her feelings. Give her the time and space to express her emotions openly without judgment.
2. Take time to reflect – allow yourself to grieve and feel all the emotions. Remind yourself that it is okay to be hurt and that your feelings are valid.
3. Ask yourself: ‘‘Will forgiving her change something?’’ – if the answer is no, then you shouldn’t go further with the relationship, and every relationship coach will tell you the same.
To Sum Up
There are many signs she feels guilty for hurting you; some are more obvious than others. However, the real problem isn’t that she feels guilty – it’s why she feels guilty.
If she did something bad, think about the emotional and logical aspects. Emotionally, consider how forgiving her will make you feel. Logically, consider if forgiving them will benefit your relationship.
Don’t let her guilt trip you for things you didn’t do and make it look like it’s your fault.
When someone tries to guilt trip you into doing something that doesn’t align with your values, it’s a reminder to stay true to yourself and know your self-worth.