10 señales de que tienes una nuera tóxica y cómo lidiar con ella
No matter how hard you try, are you struggling to build a good relationship with your daughter-in-law ? Is she rude and disrespectful all the time, and does she use every opportunity to make it clear that you aren’t welcome in her life?
If you recognize these 10 signs you have a toxic daughter-in-law , it’ll be obvious that your bad relationship isn’t because of you.
Puedes, y debes, seguir intentando tener una mejor relación con ella por el bien de tu hijo y del amor que os tenéis.
However, you shouldn’t allow her to keep disrespecting and humiliating you. After this list of signs, you’ll also find some helpful ways to deal with your daughter-in-law and put her in her place.
10 señales de que tienes una nuera tóxica
Presta mucha atención a estas 10 señales de alarma que indican que tienes una nuera tóxica. Esto puede ayudarte a encontrar la manera de construir una mejor relación con ella.
1. She makes you feel like you aren’t part of the family
She thinks that you’ll walk away if you feel like you aren’t welcome. However, it’s your job to prove her wrong.
No matter how much she tries to make you feel like you don’t belong in your son’s life anymore, you should try to show her that you are and always will be parte de la familia.
If you can’t work on fixing your relationship with her, focus on strengthening your relationship with your son. Sooner or later, she’ll come around and accept that you’ll never leave your son’s and her husband’s life.
2. Te falta al respeto constantemente
This can be very stressful, I know. I assume she does it specifically in front of other people, and that’s what bothers you most because you feel so humiliated and ashamed.
The fact is, she’ll keep doing it as long as she sees that it bothers you. Tienes que entender que su único objetivo es alejarte de tu propio hijo.
Hay que estar preparado para todo. And as much as certain things hurt you, try to behave as if you don’t notice them because that is the only thing that will make her stop mistreating you.
Of course, if she crosses the line and you simply can’t put up with her behavior anymore, then you should talk to your son about it. If he doesn’t do anything about it, you need to stand up for yourself.
3. Su necesidad de control es abrumadora
While they were dating, your son probably allowed her to control many things in their relationship. It’s given her the right to think that she can control absolutely everything about his life.
She wants to control his job, their vacations, their kids… Absolutely everything. Unfortunately, you can’t, and you shouldn’t do anything about it because that should be your son’s job.
You need to warn your son about her controlling behavior and hope that he’ll talk to her and ask her to change.
Si te promete que lo hará, créele y dale tiempo para demostrarlo. Sin embargo, si tarda demasiado, o si sigue con su comportamiento controlador, simplemente ignora sus exigencias y haz las cosas como tú quieras y anima a tu hijo a hacer lo mismo.
4. Culpabilización constante
She’s also aware that you two have una relación tóxica , and she doesn’t do anything to change that. The only thing she does all the time is put the blame for this bad relationship on you.
She wants to make you and everyone around you believe that you’re the culprit and the reason you two can’t get along. If you allow her to do that, it’ll create a huge problem between you and your son.
Sólo presta atención a su comportamiento en frente a otros personas frente a cuando estáis solos.
If she behaves all sweet and innocent in front of others and turns into a real devil when you two are alone, it’s clear that she’s trying to paint a different image of your relationship with other people.
5. La luz de gas es su técnica de manipulación favorita
She’ll do absolutely anything to harm your mental health and make you doubt your own sanity. As I said above, she’ll even try to manipulate you into thinking that it’s your fault you two can’t get along.
She’s so good at luz de gas that you aren’t even aware of what she is doing until it’s too late, and she’s already managed to trick you. In the eyes of your son and other family members, you’ll already be guilty for the bad relationship you two have.
And the worst thing is that you can’t do anything about it because you don’t have proof of the evil, toxic games she plays with you.
Véase también: 30 frases alarmantes sobre el gaslighting con las que debe tener cuidado
6. Tiene rasgos de personalidad narcisista
In the beginning, you didn’t think about it this way because you thought she was just spoiled or overly confident.
She always wants the spotlight, and her need to be the center of attention is unbelievable. Also, it’s like she needs to be right all the time.
She’s arrogant and manipulative, and she just doesn’t seem to have any kind of empathy or consideration for other people.
In short, you’ve finally understood that your son is married to un verdadero narcisista disfrazado.
The whole world needs to revolve around her, and the reason she’s so disrespectful towards you is because she knows how much your son loves you, and she is afraid that you might steal her position.
7. Se burla de ti en las redes sociales
Whenever you post a pic on social media , she always has an ironic comment. You’ve also noticed that she is trying to make fun of you on other people’s pics too.
I know it isn’t easy to put up with it all, but for the sake of your amadoHay que tener paciencia. Si realmente te molesta tanto, habla con tu hijo sobre ello y hazle saber lo mucho que te molesta.
If he doesn’t do anything about it, you should find a way to put an end to it. Simply hit the block button, and let her make fun of someone else. Or, find another solution but DON’T EVER descend to her level and make fun of her.
8. Habla a tus espaldas todo el tiempo
Your family members , friends, and even some of your neighbors have told you that she’s been talking trash about you behind your back. This is what probably hurts you most because you know you didn’t deserve it at all.
However, it shouldn’t bother you that much. Su seres queridos know you, and they’ll never believe her lies.
They’re probably familiar with your situation, and they already know what your nuera intenta hacer. Deberías dejar que siguiera hablando mal de ti porque eso sólo dirá mucho de su carácter.
9. Siempre aparece sin avisar
I know how frustrating this can be. My DIL tried to do the same thing to me. However, I showed her that it didn’t bother me, even though it really did, and once she saw she couldn’t hurt me with it, she stopped doing it.
I behaved as if I didn’t see what was going on. I tried to ignore it as much as I could and let her have her way. And you should do the same. Eventually, she’ll realize that she doesn’t gain anything from it, and she’ll change her behavior.
I showed up unannounced at their place only once, and she freaked out. Maybe that scared her, and maybe that’s another reason she stopped with those unannounced visits to our place.
10. Intenta poner a otros miembros de la familia en tu contra
If they have kids, she’ll try to turn them, your own grandkids, against you. And she’ll also try to affect the other familiares y abrir una brecha entre tú y ellos.
Lo cierto es que la vida familiar nunca es fácil. Hay muchas relaciones que hay que cuidar constantemente, y se hace aún más difícil cuando los hijos crecen y la familia aumenta.
And the worst thing is when some of your in-laws don’t want to accept you as part of their family even though you’ve shown them they’ve been welcome from day one.
She probably won’t succeed in turning those other family members against you if you have a good relationship with them. So, try to ignore her and focus on maintaining good and stable relations with other people inside the family.
Cómo tratar a una nuera mala
Of course, you should try to fix the toxic relationship you have with your daughter-in-law . However, if that isn’t possible, here are some effective ways to handle her and keep your relationship intact.
• Try to understand her reasons for treating you that way
Maybe your daughter-in-law isn’t toxic after all… Maybe she simply doesn’t like you and doesn’t want you to be part of her family.
Now, if you want that to change, you need to understand what caused that aversion from her side. Maybe you did something that hurt her in the past, and she can’t get over it.
Si te das cuenta de que algunas de tus acciones fueron equivocadas, debes disculparte por ellas y pedirle perdón. Eso debería ayudar a su DIL a dejarlo atrás, y entonces usted puede trabajar en la construcción de una relación sana entre vosotros dos.
• Avoid getting into conflict with her
Tratar con una nuera difícil es lo peor. She constantly picks fights with you and tries to show you clearly that you aren’t welcome in the family anymore.
Sé que eso puede volverse agobiante y agotarte emocionalmente. Sin embargo, debes evitar entrar en discusiones innecesarias con ella. No por ella, sino por tu querido hijo.
La verdad es que tus peleas con ella le harán más daño a él. He will feel torn between you and his wife, and sooner or later, he’ll feel like he has to choose and make a decision between you, his mother, and his wife, the woman he loves.
He might be aware of his wife’s toxicity; however, she’s his partner, and he can’t give up on her. On the other hand, he won’t be able to give up on you either because, after all, you are and always will be the first woman he ever loved.
Sólo pensar en tener que tomar esa horrible decisión le romperá el corazón.
• However, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself
Avoiding conflict with your DIL doesn’t mean allowing her to talk badly about you in front of other people. It doesn’t mean you should allow her to treat you badly in front of your family members or at important family events .
No matter the circumstances, you should never put up with another person’s mistreatment and disrespect.
Whether it’s your loved one or son/daughter/ sister-in-law or your husband’s mother , you need to stand up for yourself and show others that you won’t allow que te traten como a un extraño .
Actually, you won’t allow them to treat you in any other way than you deserve to be treated.
If you allow them to disrespect you even once, they’ll see it as a green light to repeat it again and again. In the end, that will result in damaging your own emotional and mental health .
• Don’t let her affect your self-esteem
She’ll most definitely try. She knows that by making you doubt your confidence , she can manipulate you easier. It would allow her to shift the blame for your toxic relationship onto you.
That’s why you need to establish your own support system. Encuentra a alguien en quien confíes y deja que sea tu confidente. Habla con ellos y cuéntales todo sobre la relación con tu DIL .
That’s the best way to protect your self-esteem . Show her that you know your worth and that no one can manipulate or play with you.
• Always be the bigger man
En la vida y en cada situación que la vida te depare, debes intentar ser la mejor persona . Mira más allá y céntrate en tus prioridades.
I know that some people don’t deserve your kindness, but it’s actually the most powerful weapon you can use against them. It’ll hurt them more than revenge or insults.
• Don’t let her come between you and your partner
Las relaciones entre suegros pueden ser realmente difíciles a veces. Tanto si tienes una mala relación con tu nuera o yerno como con tu suegra o suegro, nunca debes permitir que se interpongan entre tú y tu familia.
Tenéis que permanecer unidos, pase lo que pase. Vuestro amor debe ser el más fuerte de todos, incondicional e irrompible.
Whatever you think about her or, for example, her parenting style , or her behavior towards your son, you should keep it to yourself. If you constantly speak ill about her to your son, it’ll seem like you’re trying hard to separate them.
• Set boundaries
Siempre que alguien afecte a tu tranquilidad, debes mantenerlo a una distancia prudencial y establecer límites firmes con él. Don’t let them come too close because their toxicity may rub off on you.
Of course, you can’t behave like she doesn’t exist, but you can avoid her as much as possible. Si te está haciendo pasar un mal rato por redes sociales simplemente puedes bloquearla o dejar de ser su amigo.
Por su propio bienestar, debe establecer límites con las personas tóxicas . De lo contrario, dañarán su salud emocional y mental .
• Don’t let her toxicity poison you
When someone tries to belittle, humiliate, or disrespect you, it really starts affecting your emotional and mental health, especially if it’s someone close to you.
Sooner or later, you’ll reach a point where you want to hurt them back in the same way they’ve been hurting you almost every day. And that is precisely why you should never allow it to happen.
Si alguien se porta mal contigo, deja que te muestre su verdadera cara. Don’t even think about getting revenge because that’s a job for karma.
She’ll be a mother-in-law someday to another woman, and maybe that woman will treat her in the same way she’s treating you right now – that will be her karma.
• If you can’t change it, accept that she doesn’t accept you and learn to live with it
If your little ‘ monster-in-law ’ doesn’t want to work on fixing your relationship, no matter how much you try to change her opinion, you really have no other choice but to accept it.
En ese caso, trabaja para reforzar el vínculo con tu hijo. Tienes que demostrarle que tienes una relación muy fuerte con tu hijo, una relación que nada ni nadie es capaz de dañar o romper.
Olvídate de ella y trata de ignorar el pequeñas cosas que hace para irritarte. Céntrate en tu hijo y deja que el tiempo siga su curso en lo que respecta a la relación con tu nuera .
Véase también: La Mejor Lista De Límites Para La Suegra : 15 Limitaciones
¿Qué ocurre cuando se tiene una nuera tóxica?
Por desgracia, su toxicidad pronto empezará a afectar a tu propia vida y puede que incluso a la relación que tienes con tu hijo. Ese tipo de escenario es casi inevitable.
She’ll be the cause of most of your conflicts with your son. Y, por supuesto, tu hijo nunca elegirá entre vosotros porque os quiere a los dos, pero esos dos tipos de amor son muy diferentes.
She won’t consider you part of her propia familia, que probablemente afectará a su relación con su hijo.
You’ll know that it isn’t fair because you didn’t do anything to earn her rejection, but you need to understand that it isn’t your fault. No matter how much she keeps rejecting you, you shouldn’t blame yourself for it.
She’ll try very hard to stand between you and your son, her husband, and ruin your relationship. If you don’t stand up to it, she’ll eventually succeed in her intention, and both you and your son will end up hurt.
En conjunto
¿Has reconocido estas 10 señales de que tienes una nuera tóxica? Si es así, lo siento por ti. Ese tipo de carga me resulta tan familiar, y créeme, puedo sentir tu dolor.
We all know how strong a mother’s love is for her son, and it hurts like hell when someone comes and tries to ruin that love. Sin embargo, créeme, tu hijo está en una situación aún peor que la tuya.
Now, you have two choices… Either you can accept that she doesn’t like you and try to keep your relationship with her outside of the relationship with your son, or you can try very hard to get her to like and accept you.
