3 tipos de hombres tienen aventuras: estas son las razones por las que los hombres engañan
Infidelity can have a detrimental effect on a committed relationship. Not only is there a high chance that the relationship might end, but it also leaves the person who had been cheated on with a number of issues – from self-esteem and mental health problems to the practical issues of dealing with the aftermath.
Once a cheater betrays their partner’s trust, the relationship inevitably changes. Incluso antes de que los descubran, su relación está contada. Algunas personas son capaces de perdonar una aventura, pero ésta deja huella en todas las relaciones, independientemente del resultado.
Between men and women, men are more likely to cheat on their long-term relationship partners. Here are the common reasons 3 types of men have affairs, as well as tips on recognizing the signs when it’s happening.
¿Qué 3 tipos de hombres tienen aventuras?
¿Todos los hombres engañan? Más exactamente, ¿engañarían todos los hombres si tuvieran la oportunidad?
Según un Encuesta Social General y el análisis demográfico de la infidelidad en EE.UU., los hombres casados son más probable than married women to cheat, but the gap isn’t as wide as you’d think: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they’d had extramarital affairs.
Even assuming that some men lied and didn’t admit to unfaithfulness in the above-mentioned survey, it still doesn’t mean that all men cheat.
De hecho, sólo 3 tipos de hombres tienen aventuras: hombres que no se sienten queridos y temen dejar a sus esposas, narcisistas y hombres inmaduros que quieren tenerlo todo.
Things are more complex than that, of course, so let’s take a closer look at these 3 types of men who have affairs.
1. El cobarde descuidado
Calling him a coward might be harsh, but it’s not as bad as him cheating on his wife. This type of cheater is usually a married man who has become disconnected from his wife but doesn’t have the courage to end the relationship or work on repairing it.
Things aren’t always black and white. A man in an unhappy relationship isn’t the only person to blame for the things that aren’t working.
Sin embargo, había problemas de intimidad y optó por afrontar los problemas de su relación traicionando a su pareja cuando otras soluciones podrían haber conducido a resultados diferentes.
El problema con estas otras soluciones, como enfrentarse a su pareja y comunicarse abiertamente, es mucho más difícil. Requiere vulnerabilidad emocional y esfuerzo. It’s far easier to start over and look for closeness elsewhere, potentially forcing the relationship to end.
¿Qué ocurre aquí? Estas son las etapas por las que pasa.
• Something is missing from his relationship and his marriage. La vida pasó y él y su mujer se distanciaron. La cantidad de amor y afecto que solía recibir de su esposa se ha desvanecido con el tiempo.
• His wife isn’t who she used to be. She’s not as loving, as caring, or as sexy as she once was. She doesn’t give him the attention he needs. He feels like she no longer cares about his emotional and sexual needs or what’s going on with him.
• The falta de intimidad emocional y sexual le hace sentir resentimiento hacia su mujer y desilusionarse con su matrimonio.
• He misses being desired. He wishes his wife would meet his needs, but he’s afraid to talk to her. Maybe she’s a nag or a bully, or she’s kind and sweet. Either way, he’s unhappy with her and fantasea con otra persona .
• He decides to turn to affairs to fulfill his needs. He’s looking for someone who seems interested in him as a person. He wants validation. He needs his ego stroked and for his sex life to become more exciting.
• The marriage is crumbling. Instead of communicating with his partner and working on his relationship or, if they can’t work out, ending things, he decides to cheat. When he’s caught, it’s over.
• It’s much easier to cheat to end his relationships instead of dealing with the issues directly. Even if they stay together, they won’t be the same married couple they were before he had an affair.
Este tipo de comportamiento es lo mismo que abandonar el matrimonio sin informar a su mujer, con el añadido de herirla y traicionar su confianza.
2. El narcisista oportunista
En pocas palabras, narcissists are people who are so selfish that they completely disregard other people’s importance. This doesn’t mean that they’re sin saberlo of other people’s needs and feelings, only that they’re completely irrelevant to them unless they can be used.
Una persona con trastorno narcisista de la personalidad se siente con derecho – to admiration and attention, to things and people – and he gets upset when he doesn’t get what he believes he deserves.
Manipular y perjudicar a los demás le resulta natural. He doesn’t think about the impact of his behavior on other people – because other people aren’t important.
This leads to behaviors that hurt his partner, and he doesn’t see what the problem is.
He’s capable of emotional compartmentalization and separates love from sex. In his case, separating love and sex doesn’t mean that he can have sex with people he doesn’t love, which isn’t a problematic behavior in itself – it’s that he considers sex completely inconsequential.
¿Cómo se aplica esto al engaño?
• He doesn’t consider sex a matter of consequence and doesn’t get why his partner would take his cheating to heart. He’s capable of having sex with anyone without feeling anything, not only about the person but also the repercussions.
For example, he wouldn’t understand why his one-night stand might hurt his primary relationship any more than simply having a conversation with another woman would. This doesn’t excuse him – he still knows it’s wrong, but he simply doesn’t care.
• Sex in the affair means nothing to him – it just happens. When he sees an opportunity, he takes it. If a woman is open to his sexual advances, he sees no reason he shouldn’t pursue an encounter or affair with her. It’s just sex, after all, and instead of being a big deal, it’s simply available.
Esto también puede conducir a la adicción al sexo.
• Because sex is such a casual thing para él, subestima cuánto puede herir a su pareja con su comportamiento. Su falta de empatía hacia los demás y su enfoque distante y oportunista del sexo pueden llevarle a engañar a varias parejas.
When he’s involved in several affairs, he’s using the women he’s cheating with to meet his needs without considering theirs. Necesita atención constante de las mujeres y elige lo que le gusta de cada uno de ellos, creando una relación a medida.
• Even though he has no moral qualms de herir a su pareja con su comportamiento, este tipo de adúltero sigue siendo consciente de que está mal y de que tendrá ciertas consecuencias. No tiene remordimientos, sino que se excita al comportarse mal.
He sees himself as a thrill-seeker, and the risk of getting caught makes him enjoy his affair even more. He likes it that he could get caught, but the fact that it’s a chance to screw up his whole life doesn’t matter to him.
3. The immature mama’s boy
This kind of cheater is in a relationship or marriage with someone he doesn’t see as a partner but as a caretaker. In a way, él ve a su mujer como su madre, y él doesn’t have the maturity para trabajar en sus problemas.
Quiere tenerlo todo: una relación estable en casa con alguien que cuide de él y una relación excitante fuera de su matrimonio. Por esta razón, actúa como un adolescente o, más exactamente, an immature mama’s boy .
• He says he’s in love with his wife, but he really likes the convenience and what he gets from her. He behaves like an adolescent: he’s looking for independence, but he still wants his “mom” (his wife) to take care of him at home.
He enjoys the sneaking around that comes with cheating – he sees it as rebelling against the rules that his mom-wife has imposed. Todo el esfuerzo y el complot necesarios para tener una aventura secreta le dan la emoción de salirse con la suya.
• To him, cheating is also a way of taking control. Because he sees his wife as someone responsible for him who does so much for him, making a decision without her feels like he’s in charge. He’s seeking validation and trying to increase his self-esteem by proving that he exists outside of his marriage.
• He doesn’t like his daily life. He might be married to a wife who makes him feel inadequate, or he simply sees her that way because he doesn’t like that she reacts when se comporta de forma inmadura.
• If su pareja tiene poco apetito sexual or isn’t interested in sex tanto como él, puede acabar sintiendo una frustración sexual que busca solucionar fuera del matrimonio. En lugar de hablar con su mujer e intentar resolver este problema, decide ponerle los cuernos.
• He’s another kind of cheater who compartmentalizes his sex life. He separates people into those he loves and those he has sex with, or more accurately, he thinks that there’s ‘wife sex’ and ‘lover sex,’ or believes that his esposa es para el amor, y su compañero de aventura es para el sexo.
He judges people by their sexual behavior, and he’s ashamed of some of his desires. Because he doesn’t want to be married to a woman who does certain things and behaves in a certain way, he’d never talk to his partner about his desires or ask her to fulfill them.
Esto le lleva a tener relaciones sexuales aburridas e insatisfactorias con su mujer. Si a esto le añadimos que ve a su mujer todos los días en una variedad de contextos poco sensuales, la relación con su compañera sentimental parece una comida para picar mientras se está a dieta.
The woman he’s cheating with seems like a glamorous, sexual being who wears lingerie and perfume and is willing to do that thing he’d never ask his wife to. El sexo con ella es genial por su falta de inhibiciones con el aspecto añadido de la fantasía y la transgresión.
¿Cuáles son las señales de advertencia de un infiel?
Los hombres que tienen aventuras muestran muchas banderas rojas y señales que pueden pasarse por alto fácilmente. Sometimes the person who’s being cheated on subconsciously turns a blind eye and plays ignorant on purpose.
Keeping up with an affair isn’t simple – trying to keep it hidden means lots of acting, strategizing, and remembering to keep his story straight. Still, when you don’t want something to be true, it becomes easy to ignore the warning signs that he’s cheating.
When a man displays several of the following signs, there’s a chance that he’s engaging in an affair.
• Lack of interest in sex. If he’s suddenly less interested or not interested in sex with his wife at all, it can mean that he’s getting what he needs elsewhere.
• Different sexual behavior. When you do have sex, he does things he’s never done before, even if he’s not usually the experimental type.
• Suspicious phone use. Some examples are: hiding his phone, always keeping it on silent, not answering when you’re around, always texting, being unable to reach him on the phone at certain times, change in use of social media apps, and receiving calls he says are from the wrong number, etc.
• Suspicious computer use. Podría ocultar su uso del ordenador, apagarlo o minimizar una ventana cuando te acerques, utilizar el ordenador a altas horas de la noche mientras duermes, borrar el historial de su navegador, dejar de utilizar dispositivos compartidos, etc.
• Sudden interest in his appearance. Si empieza a vestirse mejor o a ponerse colonia, se hace un nuevo peinado, empieza a hacer ejercicio o se pone a dieta, podría ser a warning sign that he’s cheating on you y quiere quedar mejor con su pareja.
• Works longer hours, pero cuando le preguntas cómo van las cosas en el trabajo, sólo tiene respuestas vagas.
• Starts going out with friends. If he says that he’s meeting friends more often than he used to, he might not be meeting them at all.
• Suddenly can’t account for his time. He might pick up new hobbies or interests that require his time but doesn’t want to talk about it.
• Suspicious money issues. He suddenly spends more money but doesn’t talk about it, or he stops making plans that would require you to spend a higher amount of money, such as going on vacation together.
• You stop doing things together. You don’t hang out, visit other people together, or spend time with family. You feel like he avoids you.
• You know he lies to you. He obviously lies or acts secretive. He’s anxious when you ask him questions.
• He behaves oddly. Something is off in his behavior. He’s negative, defensive, distant, and critical. He picks fights and has mood swings.
• Gaslighting. He gets angry if you ask him about cheating. He tells you you’re imagining things, or he accuses you of cheating.
• Your gut feeling says he’s cheating. Even if you don’t acknowledge the things you’ve noticed out loud, if you pick up suspicious changes in his everyday behavior, your intuition will tell you that something is going on. Trust your instincts.
¿Por qué los hombres te engañan aunque te quieran?
La única respuesta real es porque así lo deciden.
Puede haber un millón de excusas que pueda utilizar para engañar, un millón de formas de justificar por qué era lo único que podía hacer, pero ninguna de ellas es la verdadera razón. Hay muchas causas subyacentes que pueden llevar al engaño, pero al final, la gente engaña porque eligen hacerlo.
He might claim that he’s not built for monogamy, that he has mental issues that caused it, or it was in the heat of the moment. Yes, there’s always a problem with the relationship or a problem with the person that leads to cheating, but la razón por la que los hombres tienen aventuras es simple: porque deciden hacer trampas, y lo hacen.
El hecho es que most men don’t stop cheating because they feel guilty or because they don’t want to be that person anymore but because they get caught te cuenta todo lo que necesitas saber sobre lo que los hombres infieles piensan en realidad.
Men who don’t cheat are men who have chosen not to cheat. Instead, they deal with the problems that cheaters claim are what lead them to having affairs in emotionally mature and productive ways that don’t cause their wives pain.
¿Cuáles son los distintos tipos de asuntos?
Existen distintos tipos de aventuras porque las personas buscan cosas diferentes fuera de sus relaciones primarias. There are things that some people don’t even consider cheating, while they can cause heartbreak in others. He aquí algunas tipos de engaño que la gente practica.
1. La aventura emocional
Una aventura emocional carece de intimidad sexual pero implica una conexión emocional con otra persona. Puede desarrollarse entre compañeros de trabajo, amigos o conocidos y, con el tiempo, puede crear daños duraderos en la relación con la pareja engañada.
At first, it can be justified as being ‘just friends,’ but the emotional intimacy involved in this kind of relationship often oversteps the boundaries of friendship. When he’s closer and more fond of his ‘just friend’ than his wife, cuenta como trampa , and it can’t be denied that it’s an affair.
2. El romance
Una aventura romántica puede desarrollarse a partir de una aventura emocional o porque un hombre inicie una relación romántica y sexual con otra mujer. It’s a love affair that would be considered normal if he didn’t have a wife who he is knowingly hurting by being in another relationship.
He can try to justify it by blaming it on the magic of falling in love or claiming that his wife doesn’t understand him as much as the other woman. This type of affair often lasts for a long time and can be on and off.
3. El asunto del sexo casual
Una relación puramente sexual, como una aventura o un rollo de una noche, rara vez ocurre una sola vez. Un hombre que engaña a su mujer de esta manera a menudo desarrolla un patrón de conducta y sigue involucrándose en este tipo de asuntos.
En muchos casos, no hay problemas en su matrimonio, pero la razón por la que practica sexo extramatrimonial es porque tiene una oportunidad y la aprovecha. A veces se arrepiente de estas aventuras e intenta parar, pero al final vuelve a ellas.
4. The ‘mistress’ affair
Esta es la aventura cuando un hombre quiere seguir casado y continuar con su aventura durante mucho tiempo. Cuando un hombre quiere relaciones tanto con su esposa como con su pareja, he’ll jump through hoops to keep his affair hidden.
Quiere todos los beneficios que ofrecen estas dos relaciones. His affair partner doesn’t understand that he’s using her . She often believes that he’ll eventually leave his wife, but if forced to choose, he’ll stay with his wife.
5. The ‘make a point’ affair
Este es el tipo de aventura en la que el infiel quiere conseguir algo teniendo una aventura. Una de las razones podría ser vengarse de su mujer si le ha engañado.
Another situation is if he’s trying to get caught and cause the end of his marriage. If he doesn’t have the courage to leave his wife, he might get her to leave him by cheating on her and making it easy for her to find out.
It’s All About Choices
Men cheat more than women, but it’s not true that every man would cheat on his wife if there were no consequences. Usually, it all comes down to the ability and maturity to deal with problems in a way that isn’t hurtful to his partner.
Engañar dice mucho de una persona. Normalmente, 3 tipos de hombres tienen aventuras: los tres son incapaces de enfrentarse a los problemas de la relación, por lo que recurren al engaño como forma de satisfacer sus necesidades.
Still, relationships aren’t simple, and the problems are rarely only one person’s fault. The blame for cheating, however, lies only on the person who chose to do it.
