5 errores que una persona con ansiedad puede cometer en una relación

It’s almost impossible to prevent anxiety from influencing your love life. As hard as it is to keep your head above water, it’s even harder to give your best self to the relationship.

Think about it. Dating is stressful as it is, even for people who don’t suffer from anxiety, but for those who do, things can get even worse.

The thing with making relationship mistakes when you have anxiety is that you might not even be aware of them. For you, some things come naturally, and you don’t see them as a threat to your relationship.

That’s why knowing those mistakes and watching out for them might be just the thing you need to deal with them and make your relationships stronger and more stable.

So, let’s start:

1. Being “checked out”

Estás allí físicamente, pero mentalmente estás a kilómetros de distancia. Tu mente está abrumada por tus pensamientos, y a veces te resulta muy difícil estar presente.

Tu relación puede sufrir por ello. Los lazos entre tú y tu pareja pueden aflojarse porque se sentirán desatendidos.

Aunque lo entiendan todo y estén a tu lado en las buenas y en las malas, si esto sigue así, podría dañar gravemente vuestra relación.

Aun así, hay medidas que puedes tomar para mejorar las cosas. Además de la terapia y el apoyo que recibas de las personas de tu vida, puedes intentar entrenar tu cerebro para estar presente y realmente ahí para tu ser querido. Los ejercicios de atención plena pueden ayudarte.

2. Cuestionando

Puede que te cueste creer que hay alguien en este mundo que te entiende y te acepta tal como eres.

You find yourself unable to enjoy what you have, so you start second-guessing their feelings and intentions. So in a way, you are creating a problem where there’s none.

That’s why you need constant reassurance, proof of their love, which can be really tiring for your partner no matter how patient they might be.

They don’t see the point in saying they are into you, and that they are there to stay every few seconds. They wouldn’t be with you in the first place if they didn’t feel that way.

3. Esperar que solucionen tu ansiedad

It’s wrong to expect someone to fix your anxiety. First of all, they don’t have that power; it’s all in your hands anyway. Second, it’s too much of a burden to bestow upon somebody.

Of course, your significant other should be there for you and support you, but that’s about it. All the other hard work is up to you.

Encuentra algo que te funcione. Puede ir desde la meditación o el yoga para calmar tus pensamientos al menos durante un rato hasta todo tipo de terapias. Lo importante es que te cuides.

4. Fijación rutinaria

Encuentras una dosis de comodidad en los patrones familiares. Te gusta que las cosas sigan igual, y el cambio no es tu amigo.

Unfortunately for you, relationships require change, so they can evolve and grow. Doing the same things over and over again won’t benefit you or your relationship.

In order to escape fixation to routine and your fear of change, you have to be honest about it with your partner. They won’t know it’s a problem if you don’t share it with them.

Es posible que no puedan solucionar tu ansiedad, pero sí ayudarte con este problema concreto, así que sé sincero.

5. 5. Sacar conclusiones precipitadas

The worst thing you can do to your relationship is assuming the worst without having anything to back that up. It’s like that self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect something bad will happen, it usually will.

It doesn’t have to be anything major. It could just be that your partner hasn’t texted you back right away, and you are already fearing that they might disappear on you or break up with you.

In reality, they might be at work, taking a shower, sleeping or hundreds of other possible scenarios that haven’t even crossed your mind.

It’s hard for you not to go all negative and switch into overthinking mode, but try to ground your thoughts and give have a bit more faith in your partner—they probably deserve that much.