It’s almost impossible to prevent anxiety from influencing your love life. As hard as it is to keep your head above water, it’s even harder to give your best self to the relationship.
Think about it. Dating is stressful as it is, even for people who don’t suffer from anxiety, but for those who do, things can get even worse.
The thing with making relationship mistakes when you have anxiety is that you might not even be aware of them. For you, some things come naturally, and you don’t see them as a threat to your relationship.
That’s why knowing those mistakes and watching out for them might be just the thing you need to deal with them and make your relationships stronger and more stable.
So, let’s start:
1. Being “checked out”
You are there physically, but mentally, you are miles away. Your mind is overwhelmed with your thoughts, and you find it so hard to be present at times.
Your relationship can suffer for it. The bonds between you and your partner might loosen because they will feel neglected.
Even if they understand everything and are there for you through thick and thin, if this goes on, it might severely damage your relationship.
Still, there are steps you can take to make things better. Besides the therapy and support you receive from people in your life, you can try and train your brain to be present and truly there for your loved one. Mindfulness exercises can help with this.
It might be hard for you to believe that there is someone in this world who gets you and accepts you just the way you are.
You find yourself unable to enjoy what you have, so you start second-guessing their feelings and intentions. So in a way, you are creating a problem where there’s none.
That’s why you need constant reassurance, proof of their love, which can be really tiring for your partner no matter how patient they might be.
They don’t see the point in saying they are into you, and that they are there to stay every few seconds. They wouldn’t be with you in the first place if they didn’t feel that way.
3. Expecting them to fix your anxiety
It’s wrong to expect someone to fix your anxiety. First of all, they don’t have that power; it’s all in your hands anyway. Second, it’s too much of a burden to bestow upon somebody.
Of course, your significant other should be there for you and support you, but that’s about it. All the other hard work is up to you.
Find something that works for you. It can range from meditation or yoga to soothe your thoughts at least for a while to all sorts of therapies. The important thing is that you take care of yourself.
4. Routine fixation
You find a dose of comfort in familiar patterns. You like things staying the same, and change is not your friend.
Unfortunately for you, relationships require change, so they can evolve and grow. Doing the same things over and over again won’t benefit you or your relationship.
In order to escape fixation to routine and your fear of change, you have to be honest about it with your partner. They won’t know it’s a problem if you don’t share it with them.
They might not be able to fix your anxiety, but they might be able to help you with this particular issue, so just be honest.
5. Jumping to conclusions
The worst thing you can do to your relationship is assuming the worst without having anything to back that up. It’s like that self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect something bad will happen, it usually will.
It doesn’t have to be anything major. It could just be that your partner hasn’t texted you back right away, and you are already fearing that they might disappear on you or break up with you.
In reality, they might be at work, taking a shower, sleeping or hundreds of other possible scenarios that haven’t even crossed your mind.
It’s hard for you not to go all negative and switch into overthinking mode, but try to ground your thoughts and give have a bit more faith in your partner—they probably deserve that much.