6 maneras de hacerle cambiar sin forzarle

Acabas de darte cuenta de que tu chico no es lo que esperabas de él, y puede que te esté molestando con sus hábitos raros o su comportamiento egoísta.

Lo primero que se te ocurre es, por supuesto, criticarle y decirle todo lo que piensas de él con la esperanza de que cambiará instantly. And you’re absolutely right about it.

But, I’m sorry to disappoint you that guys don’t work that way.

If you demand or beg him to change, your requests will be ignored. Guys don’t like to be begged or ordered what to do or how to behave, but they like to be inspired and subtly given advice on something that bothers you.

Think of them like puppies. If you promise him that you will give him a treat each time he does something good, he will be more than happy to work on himself. I know it sounds weird, but that’s how guys function as well.

Para obtener los resultados que desea, debe crear un entorno positivo e inspirador que le haga cambiar sutilmente sin darse cuenta.

1. Ofrecer sugerencias, luego dar consejos

A la hora de conseguir que cambie sin ser contundente, una de las cosas más importantes es ofrecerle primero sugerencias y luego darle consejos.

Si lo hace, él no podrá descartarlo porque ofrecer sugerencias no es imponerse, y tendrá una mejor visión y comprensión de la situación.

After that, when he’s accepted the situation, you give him advice (solution on how to overcome it). And if he doesn’t like your advice, let him think and contemplate about it until he finds a proper solution for it.

Este enfoque le hará comprender, animándole a cambiar y a encontrar una solución para ello.

2. Anímale

Por animar me refiero a darle feedback por algo bueno que haya hecho. Puede ser en forma de palabras o de recompensa.

No guy can resist this, and if he sees that you’re noticing his efforts, he will be more than happy to continue improving himself.

If a guy notices that you’re rewarding his work and you’re showing him that his actions have made you happy, he will be encouraged to keep up the good work, so that you continue rewarding him.

That way he will not even be aware that he’s changing because he’s doing it subconsciously.

3. Inspirarle

La forma más eficaz de inspirarle para que empiece a trabajar en sí mismo es empezar a trabajar en ti primero. Sepa que los chicos modelarán su comportamiento sin ni siquiera darse cuenta de que lo están haciendo.

So, the best way to inspire him to change himself is to find something that you’ve always wanted to change about yourself and start working on it.

When he sees that you’re giving your best to accomplish it, he will be inspired to do the same if only to prove you that he can. And when a guy becomes determined to achieve something, believe me, nothing will stop him.

4. Apartarse durante algún tiempo

I don’t mean that you should ignore him or act like you don’t care about him. Instead, you should limit the amount of affection you’re showing him and limit your conversations, and he will instantly know that something’s wrong.

Esto no le enfadará, pero evocará su curiosidad y querrá saber cuál fue el desencadenante de tal comportamiento.

Y cuando se lo digas, se alegrará de saberlo por fin y empezará a hacer algo para recuperarte. Pero, ten cuidado de no exagerar porque provocará un efecto contrario.

5. Establezca sus límites

It is important to set your boundaries and to stick to them. If he knows exactly what you’re expecting of him and your relationship, he will know that he will have to work on himself if he wants to keep you.

El mayor error que podrías cometer es hacer la vista gorda si hace algo que sabe que le has dicho específicamente que no vas a tolerar.

If you let this happen once, you will not be able to control it anymore. He has to see that you’re serious about your boundaries and decisions, and if he is not willing to cooperate, there will be certain consequences.

6. Reconocer sus esfuerzos

Always remember to acknowledge his efforts if you see that he’s trying. It doesn’t matter if he fails at it because trying is what will make him succeed. So, don’t forget to tell him that you see how hard he is trying, and you really appreciate it.

Esto le inspirará a seguir esforzándose hasta que lo consiga. Y verá lo comprensiva y alentadora que eres, lo que le hará sentirse agradecido por tenerte y le inspirará a esforzarse por conservarte.