7 cualidades que pensaba que quería en una pareja hasta que conocí a mi novio actual
Like many women out there, I too admit that I’ve been guilty of constantly falling for the wrong guys. I always had this kind of imaginary list of qualities that my partner should have, and every single time I met someone who had everything from the list, I would end up being disappointed.
I couldn’t understand why this “curse” became a big, endless repeat, and I didn’t know how to stop it. It is really frustrating to think that you’ve met the one every time you meet someone who has the qualities you’ve been looking for so long.
Pero entonces las cosas cambiaron. Las cosas cambiaron DRÁSTICAMENTE (cambiaron a positivo, por supuesto) cuando conocí a mi actual novio.
And the biggest irony of all is that he’s the total opposite of any of my previous partners.
This made me realize that those qualities I was looking for are actually one big bullshit because my current boyfriend lacks all of them, and I’ve never been happier in my life!
Yup. This made me realize that I don’t really want any of these qualities in my partner.
Yo sólo pensamiento Los quería y los necesitaba, pero mi actual novio me demostró que no son ni importantes ni imprescindibles para establecer una relación feliz y satisfactoria!
7 CUALIDADES QUE PENSABA QUE QUERÍA EN UNA PAREJA HASTA QUE CONOCÍ A MI ACTUAL NOVIO
1. Someone who’s (overly) spontaneous
I mean, who doesn’t like to be around people who are spontaneous? It’s in our human nature to want to have fun and do crazy things with someone who is the embodiment of spontaneity (especially if we are lacking it).
But, I’ve realized that being (overly) spontaneous has its bad sides as well, and I’m glad that my current partner in a way lacks it.
It’s one thing to live life as you please, and it’s completely another to be spontaneously irresponsible, and live life like there’s no tomorrow.
And I’ve realized that there’s a really thin line between the two. Most of my spontaneous partners turned out to be irresponsible and fucked up which influenced the entire course of our relationship as well.
Véase también: 5 razones inesperadas por las que sigues atrayendo a los chicos equivocados
2. Someone who’s the life of the party
Al igual que en el caso anterior, solía elegir a mis parejas en función de lo atractivas y divertidas que me resultaban.
Siempre me enamoré de esos tipos que eran el alma de la fiesta, que eran insaciables en cuanto a beber, bailar y hacer el ridículo.
Pero, ahora me doy cuenta de que esto era totalmente erróneo, y sé perfectamente por qué.
It’s because guys who are the life of the party are thirsty for attention (aka attention whores), and it can be really stressful and sometimes unbearable to deal with them in certain situations.
3. Alguien que quiera complacerme en todo lo posible
No, I don’t mean anything sexual, but it could refer to that, too.
What I mean is I don’t want someone who wants to please me mentally in every way possible.
I don’t want someone who is afraid to contradict me when needed and to say what they really mean.
Unfortunately, I’ve realized it too late, but better late than never, right?
4. Alguien con problemas que necesitan solución
Oh, lord. I can’t emphasize how mad I am at myself for this one. I always tended to fall for bad boys who need fixing.
I guess it’s in my nature to feel sorry for them and want to help them at any cost (and each one cost me a lot of time and nerves as well).
I always felt good when I was able to help them and show them a different perspective of life, but I didn’t understand that by doing it, I was hacerme daño.
En lugar de disfrutar con un compañero que tiene las cosas claras, he perdido el tiempo intentando arreglar almas rotas e imaginando que tengo poderes especiales que las curarán y harán del mundo un lugar mejor.
5. Alguien cuya mayor prioridad sea nuestra relación
Sí. Siempre tuve miedo de que mi pareja me descuidara a mí y a nuestra relación, así que estaba literalmente obsesionada con estar con alguien cuya mayor prioridad fuera nuestra relación.
I can’t even describe how happy I am now with my current boyfriend because he understands the need to spend some time alone.
Esta es realmente una de las cosas más importantes en toda relación.
Todos deberíamos tener tiempo para nosotros mismos, para recargar las pilas y pasar tiempo con nuestros amigos y familiares. Centrarse únicamente en la relación no es sano y está condenado al fracaso.
6. Someone who’s heavy on the compliments
I bet there isn’t any woman out there who doesn’t like to receive compliments.
A todas nos encanta que nos digan que nuestro pelo está bien, que nuestro atuendo y nuestro cuerpo están de moda, y siempre nos enamoramos de ese chico que sabe cómo hacer cumplidos perfectos.
But, by doing that, we forget about our personality as well! By being blinded by these “trivial” compliments, we forget to think about more important ones regarding our souls.
And I can’t even explain you how grateful I am for finally being with someone who doesn’t only focus on my looks. It’s really refreshing and motivating!
7. Someone who’s just there to provide me with an escape
We’re back to the bad boys again. All this time, I only wanted to be with someone who was just there to provide me with an escape.
Siempre me enamoré de los chicos malos que hacían locuras que les subían la adrenalina, y esto me hacía sentir tan viva.
Pensaba que estaba viviendo el momento, pero me di cuenta de que me estaba perdiendo muchas cosas.
With my current boyfriend, I’ve learned that living in the moment means being present physically and mentally, without any of that crazy shit and the need to prove yourself something that is not true.
I’ve realized that I don’t need any of these. Real relationships are about being there for each other and focusing on the good things instead of solely providing an escape to each other. And, believe me, I’ve never been happier in my life!
Véase también: Al Único Hombre Que Me Hizo Sentir Viva Pero No Era Para Mí
