Parece casi redundante buscar las señales de una mala relación. Pero, en realidad, permanecemos en malas relaciones mucho más tiempo del que deberíamos. Una de las razones principales es que estamos tan acostumbrados a que las cosas vayan mal, que incluso lo malo se convierte en normal. La otra razón, aún más poderosa, es que queremos a esa persona y seguimos esperando que las cosas se arreglen y que toda la situación cambie a mejor.

We have to realize that getting used to being unhappy is not a solution. You need someone whose main objective is to make you happy as yours is to make him happy. We also have to realize that sometimes love isn’t enough although it’s the most important. Las relaciones necesitan trust, honesty, respect, mutual efforts and constant work. Otherwise, love can’t survive.

That’s why sometimes we need a little bit of help and signs that will open our eyes and see the harsh reality of things:

1. Tu pareja es demasiado controladora.

You feel like you lack freedom. He is watching your every move and doesn’t allow you to breathe. In these situations, you are dealing with a toxic manipulator or with a highly jealous person. Relationships with any of them will suffocate you, alienate you from your friends and inevitably cause you pain. Relationships are built on trust and both partners should have their own space and time. If you don’t have trust, respect, and freedom, it’s time to say the final goodbye.

2. Disfraza los insultos en chistes.

“It’s a joke.”, “Don’t be mad.” ,“Why do you take everything so close to heart?” are some of the sentences he uses as cover for plain insults. But you know that it’s not a joke if you both aren’t laughing. Don’t allow him to put you down or treat you like a joke.

3. Su comunicación se reduce a peleas.

Fighting from time to time can be constructive and make a relationship grow, but that can’t be your only form of communication. If fights become a part of your daily routine, you are in trouble. You and our partner clearly can’t find the same language and you are unable to solve anything. The best thing to do here is to realize that you simply fail to understand each other and in spite of your feelings, you shouldn’t stay with him.

4. You can’t remember why you are together to begin with.

You lack everything in your relationship. Simple gestures of kindness and affection are not existent. You try holding on to the ‘good old days’ but they are so far behind that you can’t recall them clearly anymore. You ask yourself how did you end up here and why are you putting up and tolerating everything. But the real question is why aren’t you packing your bags? Life is too short to be with someone who makes you unhappy.

5. Te quedas por costumbre.

Esta es la trampa de relaciones duraderas. People stay together for so long that they, themselves, are not sure if they are staying in a bad relationship out of love or out of habit. Sure you have feelings after such a long time but is that person standing next to you really somebody you can see your entire future with? Are they ready to work on things and fix things that can be fixed? Are they the ones for you? If the answer is ‘no’, the sooner you end things the better for both of you.

6. Es abusivo.

Whether it’s physical or emotional abuse there is no reason at all to stay. Period. The person you are with should treat you with respect and tenderness. It should never cross their minds to use or abuse you in any way. If their love is true, they wouldn’t even think of harming you. Leave immediately.

7. Ya has intentado arreglar las cosas más veces de las que puedes contar.

Ya has probado todo lo que se te ocurre. Has tenido tus más y tus menos. Tu pareja suele intentarlo durante poco tiempo y luego vuelve a las andadas. Si las cosas en tu relación están rotas sin remedio, es inútil que te quedes. Tu intento de reparar las cosas sólo prolonga el inevitable final.