9 consejos para detectar el abuso narcisista

By now, I think we all know what a narcissist is, right? It’s the type of person who only cares about themself (to say the least). They are so self-absorbed that they lack the basic human trait of empathy.

Without empathy you’re left with a shell of a human being, not being able to feel the pain of others, so they are very likely people who use the emotions of others to manipulate them.

That’s why we have the term ‘abuso narcisista’, as it refers to the way narcissists manipulate someone’s emotions, to make them feel worthless and to make them think that no one other than the narcissist themself matters.

The worst part about being abused is the way we’re not even aware of it. That’s why I’ve summed up all the small and big signs you’re being abused by a narcissist.

Manipulación

It’s the art of making someone do the things that benefit the manipulator. Sometimes it can even be seen as aggression.

If you’ve experienced manipulation while growing up you might not see it as such.

A veces la manipulación puede consistir incluso en palabras amables y cumplidos utilizados como formas de conseguir que hagas cosas que él quiere.

I think you’ve already pictured a typical situation in your mind: all those times he told you to give him a BJ just because you’re, “The best at it,” or something along those lines.

Abuso verbal

Verbal abuse is the one that leaves us with the biggest wounds, isn’t it? It includes yelling, assuming, bullying, demanding you to do something or ordering you around.

It can also be the use of sarcasm. And keep in mind that criticism isn’t the same as giving feedback!

He might even be calling you names and telling you that you’re not good enough.

Mentira

He’s constantly lying to you, telling you how he was out with his friends watching the game but you found pictures of him and some girl making out at a party.

¿Qué te dice? Mentiras para quedar bien y que no te enfades.

Puede que incluso mienta sobre las pequeñas cosas, como dónde ha puesto algo, sólo para ver cómo lo buscas todo el día mientras él sabe dónde está en realidad.

These are just little examples of what your abuser might be doing. Keep in mind that their ultimate lie is, “I love you.”

Chantaje emocional

This can include warnings that he will leave you if you don’t do what he wants and if you still refuse he might burst out in anger just to make you feel fear and obligation toward him.

You may even feel guilty for making him angry even though you could’ve saved yourself the trouble by doing it the first time he told you to.

Violencia física

From pulling your hair to blocking your path, it’s all violence, dear. If you disobey him, he might throw your things around and destroy the most precious items you have.

He doesn’t have to hit you for it to be called physical abuse.

Drenar tus finanzas

It’s also referred to as financial abuse. If you’re financially above your narcissistic abuser he won’t like it, so he’ll try to make it all even by gambling with the money he took from you or even selling your stuff.

Aunque suene duro, esto ocurre. Puede incluso robarte dinero si te niegas a dárselo.

Aislamiento

Quiere que te quedes en casa a toda costa. Te aísla de tus amigos y de tu familia y no te deja salir a la calle.

Incluso puede usar la fuerza para mantenerte dentro de la casa.

Even verbal abuse to isolate you is common – for example, telling you that no one misses you and that you should stay home anyway.

Sabotaje

He interferes with your relationships with friends and family, maybe even your work environment, to make you remember who has the ‘upper hand’ or for the purpose of revenge.

Isn’t this a huge bandera roja para que huyas?

Explotación

Lo único que hace es fijarse en lo que quiere sin importarle tus emociones ni lo que tú quieres. ¿Te suena familiar?

He’s simply taking advantage of your kind heart and the fact that you love him to make you do everything he asks you to.

The sad thing about all of this is that you’ll know it’s happening when it’s too late. You can’t change him.

Narcissistic behavior happens in a continuum. He won’t ever feel responsible for your tears and may even laugh at your emotions.

Hay unos pocos narcisistas en este mundo que pueden sentir un poco de culpa por sus acciones, pero son muy raros.

Entonces, ¿por qué molestarse con ellos? Conoce tu valía para saber cuándo debes marcharte.