¿Cómo afrontar un amor no correspondido? Prueba estos 7 consejos

Unrequited love hurts. It’s easy to talk about ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ or some similar cliché when you’re not the one who’s in pain. Taking this advice and moving on is far more difficult when it’s you.

¿Cómo afrontar un amor no correspondido y curar un corazón roto? When the person you love doesn’t return your feelings, you go through feelings of loss and grief. Puede ser tan doloroso como una ruptura y superarlo puede ser igual de duro.

Enamorarse de alguien que no muestra interés por ti o que te rechaza directamente puede hacerte cuestionar tu valor y dejar una cicatriz permanente en tu autoestima. El amor no correspondido puede provocar estrés o incluso traumas, y hacer que te sientas poco querido.

He aquí algunos consejos útiles para hacer frente a estos sentimientos.

Cómo afrontar un amor no correspondido y acabar con el dolor

Muchas personas pasan por un amor no correspondido al menos una vez en su vida. Probablemente se te ocurra más de una canción y película que hable sobre sentimientos románticos rechazados y the pain of unrequited love – it’s a common part of the human experience.

Even though figuring out how to deal with unrequited love, the love that simply wasn’t meant to be, is so often the subject of art, when you’re actually going through it, it doesn’t feel romantic or poetic. The pain you feel when you give your heart to someone and they don’t want it can be so intense that you feel actual physical pain.

Aquí tienes algunas sugerencias que te ayudarán a sobrellevarlo.

1. Elegir seguir adelante

Hope is what keeps us going. When the world seems dark, if a human being has hope, it’s possible to move forward. Pero la esperanza es a veces lo contrario de lo que necesitas.

A significant part of being in love is wishing for the other person to love you back. It happens to everyone – you get a crush, then you give yourself permission to hope they’ll like you back, so you let your feelings grow. If they don’t seem that interested, you have two choices: puedes seguir esperando o puedes seguir adelante.

If you keep dwelling and hoping that they will come around, you’re only prolonging your heartache. Por mucho que quieras creer que ellos pueden sentir lo mismo, siempre sabes cuándo esta esperanza es vana. Las señales están todas ahí, sólo tienes que elegir permitirte aceptarlas.

When the object of your affection doesn’t return your feelings, you have to be the one to love yourself. Unfortunately, the kind of love you need to give yourself at first is tough love. You must be honest with yourself and choose to leave behind the feelings that are just hurting you and do what’s best for yourself.

2. Respetar su decisión

Cuando una persona quiere a otra, se lo hace saber. If your love was reciprocated, you wouldn’t have to dissect their every move for hints of feelings and crumbs of hope. La parte más difícil de lidiar con el amor no correspondido is accepting that the other person doesn’t love you back.

Love can’t be forced, and trying to do it hurts both of you. If you try to convince your love interest to accept your feelings, the most likely result is that you’ll push them away completely. Being persistent when someone rejects you isn’t romantic, despite what the media tells you.

It’s extremely important to remember that whether they love you back or not has nothing to do with you. Don’t think that you have to change something about yourself to make them love you. You’ll only lose yourself in the process if you try to do it and you won’t gain their love.

There’s nothing you can do to change their feelings, so accepting their decision is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Cuanto antes pases página, antes podrás conocer a alguien que te quiera tal y como eres.

3. Siente tu dolor

It’s undeniable that rejection hurts. La angustia de ver negados tus sentimientos causa verdadera angustia. Accepting that your feelings aren’t reciprocated can cause the same pain like ending a romantic relationship.

No sólo estabas emocionalmente involucrado, sino que tu sentido de la autoestima puede verse sacudido por el rechazo.. Let yourself feel the pain you’re experiencing. Don’t try to save face or keep your cool by pretending that you’re okay.

Loneliness, disappointment, anger, shame – all of these feelings are normal when you’re heartbroken. Allow yourself to feel them, but don’t let them overwhelm you. Be kind and understanding with yourself while you’re going through the pain.

Feelings have no shortcuts, and they won’t go away just because you want them to. Dependiendo de lo profundamente enamorados que estuvierais, podría llevar un tiempo. Give yourself as much time as you need to feel better, but make sure you don’t allow these emotions to take you down.

If you let yourself fully experience your feelings while focusing on getting better, soon enough you’ll be able to move on.

4. Distanciarse de la otra persona

Esta es la única manera de dejarlo ir. La clave es no quedarse y mantener la esperanza. If they’re always around, you won’t have a chance to get over them. If you’re close, stop hanging out and talking to them, at least until you’re feeling better. In a situation like this, things might be a little more complicated than in the case of a breakup.

If you’re friends, it might be awkward to block them and unfollow them on social media, especially if you haven’t told them about your feelings and you intend to keep them in your life. El rechazo puede doler incluso más que una ruptura, pero aun así es posible que quieras seguir siendo amigo de esa persona.

Your solutions are to either talk to them and tell them you need some distance for a while, choosing whether or not to tell them why, or do it without them being aware of what’s going on. La forma en que decida distanciarse depende de lo unidos que estéis y de si quieres o no seguir teniéndolos en tu vida.

5. Encontrar distracciones

Feeling your feelings is necessary, but don’t let them take over your life. Date tiempo para procesarlo todo sin obsesionarte ni revolcándose en la autocompasión. Instead, do things that are interesting enough to make you forget all about what’s happening.

When you’re hurting, it can seem that nothing can help, and this is when mindless scrolling through whatever is trending on TikTok or Twitter might be helpful, but it’s much better to find something more productive to distract you. El objetivo es hacer algo que te haga sentir mejor contigo mismo.

For example, after a couple of hours on Instagram, you’ll feel like you’ve wasted that time, but after a couple of hours at the gym, you’ll feel energized, accomplished and relaxed. Even if you’re not normally into working out, doing any kind of physical activity will help distract you from your feelings.

Los efectos del ejercicio sobre la salud mental son bien conocidos, y si encuentras algo que realmente te gusta hacer, puede ser una distracción increíble. If you prefer other ways of relaxing your mind, make sure it’s not something that will make you feel worse. En su lugar, mantente ocupado con una actividad que aumente tu bienestar emocional.

6. Pedir ayuda

While you’re dealing with your heartbreak, you must focus on your own well-being.

Instead of dwelling on the fact that your feelings weren’t returned, do everything you can to move on. At first, when your feelings are at their most painful, it might seem impossible, but if you let yourself feel them, gradually they’ll become bearable enough that you can focus on yourself.

La distancia y las distracciones son necesarias para seguir adelante, y tus seres queridos pueden proporcionarte ambas cosas, y mucho más. El mero hecho de saber que puedes hablar con alguien puede aportarte tranquilidad. Cuando compartes tus problemas, su peso disminuye.

Tener un hombro sobre el que llorar o alguien que simplemente esté ahí cuando lo necesites puede proporcionarte un gran apoyo.

If there’s no one you can openly talk to about your feelings and you feel like you need it, don’t run away from asking for professional help. Un consejero puede guiarte para que afrontes tus sentimientos y te recuperes más rápidamente. Pueden ser especialmente útiles si sientes que tu autoestima se ha resentido.

7. Trabaja tu autoestima

El rechazo puede sacudir tu autoestima y hacerte cuestionar tu valor. Puede ser muy difícil no tomarse las cosas como algo personal. When someone you love doesn’t love you back, you can get lost in believing that there’s something wrong with you.

You must pay close attention to any feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth that might come from this experience and stop them before they take root. Don’t get stuck on thinking about the reasons you were rejected. We can’t control other people’s feelings, only our reactions to them.

The fact that the person you have feelings for doesn’t have anything to do about your value as a person. Heartbreak can make you doubt that you are valuable and lovable, so at this point it’s very important not to lose sight of your own worth.

Desafía todos los pensamientos negativos que puedas estar experimentando. Sé amable y anímate a ti mismo. Accepting that the other person doesn’t feel the same as you can be painful, but once you realize that you’re perfectly lovable, and they’re simply not right for you, things will look up.

RELACIONADO: 50 citas inspiradoras sobre la autoestima que aumentarán tu confianza (y te alegrarán el día)

Qué es realmente el amor no correspondido

What’s love in the first place? El amor es una elección. It can be a complicated and unconscious choice, but it’s a choice nonetheless.

Antes de entablar una relación con alguien, todo lo que existe son posibilidades. When you’re looking for love, anyone can seem like a potential partner. Ciertas cosas te resultan atractivas, así que cuando conoces a alguien que cumple todas (o bastantes) de las condiciones, te das cuenta de la posibilidad y eliges a esa persona como interés amoroso.

This is what you’d call a crush, attraction or infatuation. At this point, you want the other person to notice you, pay more attention to you or show interest – basically, you want them to like you back.

I can tell you with certainty that what you’re feeling at this moment isn’t love, although it sure feels like it.

El verdadero amor se basa en acciones, no en sentimientos. Debe crecer y desarrollarse. It’s when you learn to care about each other’s well-being and develop emotional intimacy. El amor consiste en decidir cada día esforzarte, construir tu relación y dejar que te enriquezca.

So why does it hurt so bad if it isn’t really love?

It doesn’t matter what it’s called when the feelings are strong, but being aware that it’s infatuation rather than love can make it a little easier to deal with the aftermath of rejection.

When you long for love, if you recognize or imagine potential in someone to be the one you love, they can feel like they’re everything you ever wanted.

If you don’t know someone on an intimate level, the combination of attraction and fantasies about the relationship you could have with them can make you want it badly. Enough that if they fail to accept you, your feelings of expectation, hope and desire can be deeply injured.

El amor no correspondido es una decepción por haber elegido mal, y no ser elegido a cambio. Pensaste que esa persona que te atraía sería buena para ti, así que dedicaste mucha energía a pensar y planificar tu futuro.

Esto puede aplicarse a tu conexión con cualquier persona de tu vida, no sólo a las relaciones románticas, sólo que se manifiesta de formas diferentes. De la misma forma que conoces a alguien que crees que sería bueno como pareja, podrías conocer a alguien que consideras un buen candidato para amigo.

Sin embargo, your emotional investment in the relationship isn’t the same, so the consequences of someone you’d like to be friends with not returning the sentiment aren’t the same as unreciprocated romantic feelings. The bottom line is that you’ve invested a lot into your expectations and fantasies coming true.

RELACIONADO: Estado de amor unilateral: 140+ Citas conmovedoras para corazones solitarios

¿Por qué se produce el amor no correspondido?

Frankly, unrequited love can happen to anyone, and to a lot of people it does. So if you’re so lovable, why doesn’t the other person love you back?

The reason why your love isn’t returned depends on who it is you’ve fallen for, and it dice más de la forma en que eliges pareja que de quién es la otra persona.

1. If it’s a friend

Los amigos son preciosos, y la mayoría de la gente diría que quiere a sus amigos íntimos. So why doesn’t your friend you’ve fallen in love with love you back?

Enamorarse de un amigo es muy común. De hecho, el amor no correspondido suele darse entre amigos. La gente se enamora de sus amigos porque ya existen sentimientos cálidos cuando se dan cuenta de que su amigo tiene potencial para una relación romántica.

Cualquier atracción que puedas haber estado reprimiendo sale una vez que te das cuenta de que crees que otra cosa es posible. Falling for your best friend and having them love you back would be like a fairy tale, and sure, it happens. The problem is when the other person doesn’t feel the same way.

What to do when you’re in love with a friend?

When you’re in this situation, deciding what to do can be very difficult. Dependiendo de lo mucho que te importe tu amistad, elegir si decírselo o no puede ser arriesgado. If they don’t see you the same way, what will happen to your friendship?

Letting your friend know you’re in love with them might cause a lot of embarrassment and awkwardness. Choosing what to do next is another problem – do you keep hanging out, or do you keep your distance? What if you want to stay friends despite everything?

Lo mejor que puedes hacer es hablar abiertamente con tu amigo. I recommend keeping away for a while, at least until you’re not hurting because of the rejection any more. Hazles saber cómo te sientes y que necesitas algo de tiempo, pero que quieres mantenerlos en tu vida.

Cuando haya pasado lo peor, podréis continuar vuestra amistad, pero ten mucho cuidado con tus expectativas. Don’t cling to the hope that they will change their mind. Esto sólo te está preparando para más angustia.

2. If it’s someone you don’t know well

If you’re in love with someone you’ve met recently, in person or on a dating app, your feelings of love might be premature. You’re very likely projecting your fantasies of a perfect partner on this person.

Some people believe in love at first sight, some don’t. Whatever your beliefs, it’s only true love if it’s mutual. So if you’re experiencing feelings for someone you don’t know well enough to be able to appreciate who they really are as a person, it’s more likely that you’re not really in love with them.

In this case, you’re probably seeing in them what you want to see. We all have a picture of an ideal partner we would love to have, and when someone comes along who might have some basic qualities that remind you of that fantasy partner, it’s easy to assign them all other characteristics in our imagination.

La forma más fácil de superar a una persona así es verla como realmente es. They might be a great person, but not the person you’ve imagined. Once you realize that the person you love doesn’t actually exist inside the object of your affection, dealing with your feelings might be easier.

3. If it’s someone unavailable

Enamorarse de alguien que sabes que no está disponible puede ser señal de una estilo de fijación. Debes averiguar por qué dejas crecer tus sentimientos sabiendo que una relación sana con la otra persona es imposible.

If the other person is in a committed relationship they don’t want to leave, if it’s someone in a position of power, someone who has different priorities, someone unreachable – pregúntate por qué te enamoraste de ellos si ya sabías cuál era la situación.

Think about whether you fall for unavailable people often and if there’s a reason why it happens. Sometimes people don’t believe they deserve love so they only look for partners who are toxic or unavailable.

Si crees que puedes tener problemas de este tipo, lo mejor es que hables con un profesional. They can help you identify the reasons why you fall in love with those people and help you solve the issues you’re fightingpara que empieces a elegir parejas que te correspondan.

Para terminar

It’s heartbreaking when you love someone and they don’t return your feelings. El efecto que puede tener en tu bienestar emocional y mental es significativo. You spend time wondering why they can’t just love you back and it’s easy to come to a conclusion that you’re the problem.

Before this causes permanent damage, it’s helpful to learn how to deal with unrequited love in a healthy way. Pining from afar or trying to get the other person to change your mind are both damaging. Unless you move forward, you won’t be able to find someone who appreciates you for who you are.