Cómo dejar a un narcisista... de una pieza

Poner fin a una relación con un compañero narcisista puede ser mucho más difícil que simplemente darla por terminada y negarse a contestar el teléfono. A los narcisistas no les gusta perder. Y no les gusta perder a sus parejas.

To understand the difficulty, one must first understand how a narcissist’s mind operates, and the best way to sum it up is – egocentrismo extensivo. Whereas it’s human nature to consider our own needs first (whether we like to admit it or not), a narcissist takes this self-centeredness to the extreme. So much so, in fact, that other people are considered merely extensiones del yo que se utilizan para ayudar a este individuo a sentirse completo y facilitar sus planes.

In other words, everyone in the narcissist’s world lives only to serve the needs of the narcissist. If, at any time, these la gente se vuelve complaciente, unwilling, or unable to do so, they will be quickly discarded. This means, an individual with this behavioral disorder may cheat, lie, steal, commit fraud, use substances – and will likely do all of the above – and it must be tolerated.

So, what happens if it’s not?

Si no estás seguro de si tu pareja que te está haciendo mal es un narcisistaintenta dejarlos. A ver qué pasa. Rápidamente te darás cuenta de que lo son, si es que de hecho lo son. Esto se debe a que los narcisistas no pueden simplemente dejar ir y seguir adelante. Perderte significa perder una parte utilizable de sí mismos.

So, you can expect this partner to do a variety of underhanded things all meant for one ultimate purpose – to destroy you. If you try to leave, the narcissist will say and do anything and everything possible to convince you they are sorry for their faults and willing to change – just long enough for you to return. Then, they’re able to descarte (en lugar de al revés) en un último gran acto final destinado a garantizar que te quedarás sin nadie ni nada importante en tu vida.

To accomplish this, the master-manipulator won’t beg, cry, pout, and deliver flowers – at least, not for long. Instead, they will aspiradora – ever so subtly interjecting themselves time and again into your life, poking and prodding, so as not to be forgotten.

Narcissists can’t be alone. Therefore, they may “go away” for a period of time to focus on new prey – or, rather, old prey, since this individual was likely there all along. Then, just when you think you’re rid of them, they will return and try to get you to give in, so they can complete their juego sádico.

También, mientras te desmayan y cortejan a otro, emplean un vicioso campaña de difamación a tus espaldas para dejarte sin nada. Esto significa que estarán ocupados contactando en secreto con todos los de tu círculo y convenciéndoles de que se pongan de su parte. Dirán y harán cualquier cosa para conseguir que sus allegados les crean.

Not only will the narcissist try to make all of your friends and family turn against you, but this person will try to get you to lose your job, your home, your finances, and any thread of stability you have left. This won’t be too difficult, actually, since chances are, your partner began stripping these things away from you long ago. Narcissists work tirelessly toward having their mates be entirely dependent on their support right from the beginning.

Mind you, this is all happening while your former partner is also trying to convince you, straight-faced, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to them and they absolutely can’t live without you. If you give in to the lies and return, te descartarán. Y, como en realidad era lo único que te quedaba, te quedarás sin absolutamente nada. Se acabó el juego.

Entonces, ¿cómo dejar a un narcisista? Quietly, quickly, and without even saying goodbye. There may be a million things you want to call this person out on, but it’s simply not worth it. The best thing you can do for your own sanity and well-being is to leave and go entirely no contact to the best of your ability. Refuse any further advances, cut ties with all the mutual acquaintances you can, mantente fuerte y nunca mires atrás.

The sobering reality is, once you have entered into a partnership with a narcissist, you will forever be in this partnership whether you want to be or not. But, you can minimize this pain by taking the steps to distance yourself as much as possible – pase lo que pase.

¿El infierno no tiene más furia que una mujer despreciada? El infierno no ha visto ira como un narcisista herido.