Cómo rechazar a alguien amable y respetuosamente: 12 textos eficaces

Cuando se trata de citas, una de las cosas más frustrantes es pensar en cómo rechazar a alguien amablemente y de forma manera respetuosa. 

You’ve been on a couple of dates (or you haven’t even dated) and you’ve realized that you’re not really interested in further dating (or ever dating).

You don’t want to give them falsas esperanzas y tal vez le gustaría quedarse sólo amigos¿verdad?

Ahora bien, ¿cómo explicar esto a una chica o a un chico amablemente, sin ruptura el contacto por completo o sin parecer el más imbécil?

You don’t want to give them a desamor with thoughtless words but you don’t want them to think there is still hope. You need to be realistic and authentic. Easier said than done, right?

Te comprendo. Pero, oye, ¡no toda la esperanza está perdida! 

Ya sabes lo que dicen: La honestidad es la mejor política¡! ¡Aquí tienes una lista de los textos más eficaces que puedes utilizar en función de tu situación!

Nota: No dudes en modificar los textos según tu situación o estilo. Además, no te olvides de consultar una lista de consejos esenciales que te ayudarán a dominar el arte de rechazar amablemente.

12 de las mejores plantillas de mensajes para ayudarte a rechazar a alguien amablemente

1. “I’m not ready yet”

“Hey (someone’s name). I really enjoyed spending time with you on our primera cita but I’m afraid I got some malas noticias.

I want you to know that I’m not ready for a relación romántica or anything serious yet and that’s why I think it would be wise to stop dating for the time being. 

I don’t want you to think that there’s something wrong with you because there isn’t. It’s me.

I’ve got some things to sort out in my head and that’s why I cannot continue dating you. (Once I’m done with it, I’ll definitely let you know.)”

Esta es una buena manera de rechazar a alguien amablemente porque el acento está en ti y no en ellos.

La otra persona necesita saber que ella no es el problema (especialmente si es una persona realmente buen chico o chica y quieres seguir en contacto con ellos). 

Además, este mensaje de texto es ideal para las personas indecisas (como yo), así que he puesto la última frase entre paréntesis con ese fin.

If you’re not really sure about rejecting them completely, you can add that last sentence in case you change your mind in the future. 

2. “I just want to focus on my studies/work right now”

“Hi (someone’s name). I’m sorry to disappoint you but I think you deserve to know that I can’t really date anyone right now.

I just want to focus on my studies/work at the moment, so I don’t really have time for anything else, which includes dating.

I don’t want to waste your time and that’s why I’m telling you all this in advance. I hope you understand.”

If you’re busy with other things at the moment and you don’t have time for dating or a relationship, you should accentuate that and add that the reason why you’re telling them is that you don’t want to waste their time. 

This will show them how considerate and polite you truly are, because you care about other people’s time and feelings.

También puedes añadir esto al final del mensaje si te apetece: I’ve got your número de teléfono, so I’ll make sure to contact you once I free myself from the shackles of obligations.

3. “I’m not the right girl for you”

“I’ve been thinking about telling you this for days and whenever I gathered the courage to do it, something stopped me. So, I’ll be as firm as possible. I just want you to know that I’m not the right girl for you. 

At times, I can be really annoying or needy and sometimes I’m also overly excited about stupid things. There are also days when I can’t control myself and I do things on impulse.

Creo que deberías saber todo esto antes de que las cosas se pongan serias.

You might not understand it now but trust me, you’ll thank me later.”

Esta es la forma perfecta de decírselo a la otra persona: It’s not you, it’s me. By adding all those silly things like being annoying or excited about stupid things, you’re making it less serious and therefore, less painful.

El mensaje es pegadizo y juguetón y, lo que es más importante, honesto hasta la médula.

4. “I don’t think we’re un buen partido“

“Hi (someone’s name). Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the two of us and I concluded that we’re not really a good match. I’m into rock music, you’re into country. I’m an introvert and you’re an extrovert. 

There are plenty of other things we discussed which made me realize that we’re two extremes.

I think you deserve to know how I feel about the whole thing, so I’m letting you know because I don’t want to give you falsas esperanzas.”

There will be times when you’ll meet someone who is the total opposite of you and when that happens, you shouldn’t pretend you’re okay with it (if you’re not).

If that is the case with you, the best way to reject them nicely is by saying that you’re not a good match. 

It’s objective and it’s your personal opinion and they cannot judge you for that or get insulted. They can only appreciate you being honest about it.

5. “Obligations, obligations…”

“Hey (someone’s name). As I’m writing to you, I’m thinking about all the deadlines I need to meet this next month, my two jobs, little sister, pet, you name it. 

As you can see, I don’t have time to breathe, let alone spend some quality time with someone and I’m truly sorry for that.

Mi tiempo libre consiste en una o dos horas por la noche, cuando enciendo la televisión e intento no dormirme mientras veo algo.

I wish we had met earlier or sometime in the near future when I will potentially have more free time but that’s just how things are at the moment.”

If the reason for rejecting someone is your tons of obligation at the moment but you’re interested in hanging out with them at some point in the near future, it’s important you tell them that.

You need to accentuate the fact that you’re interested in hanging out but prevented from doing so at the moment.

6. “Broken-hearted girl/guy”

“I want you to know I have really enjoyed every second of your company but there’s something you need to know about me.

I’m not ready for anything romantic yet because I need more time to heal my wounds from my previous ruptura. 

I could have continued dating you without telling you anything about it but it wouldn’t be fair toward you.

That’s why I’m telling you honestly that I need more time and space to absorb and accept everything that happened in the past.”

Rupturas are tough and it’s always wise to take some time for yourself and heal before jumping into a new relationship.

Also, the other person deserves to know the truth in case they’ve already developed romantic feelings for you. 

Véase también: 20 cosas que debes saber para curar un corazón roto

7. “I’m only interested in friendship”

“Hey (someone’s name). I was thinking about telling you this earlier but I waited to be sure about it.

I want you to know that I really like you as a person and I’m interested in being friends with you but nothing more than that. 

Creo sinceramente que tenemos potencial para ser buenos amigos but if this is something that’s too hard for you, I totally understand and respect that.”

Esto se explica por sí mismo. 

8. “Lack of chemistry or attraction”

“(Someone’s name), you’re an awesome person and I’m sure you already know that. You’re kind, you’re supportive and you’re fun to hang out with.

However, I’m afraid there’s no química real/attraction between us, which is the essence of every relationship. It would be awesome if we could stay friends though!”

If you notice a lack of chemistry or attraction, this is a serious red flag that they’re probably not a potential partner but just a potential friend.

9. “Travel girl/guy”

“Hey (someone’s name). I’m going on a trip tomorrow/próxima semana, so I’m afraid I’ll be too busy to hang out.

I guess I’m an adventure-seeker and traveling is in my blood (well, my mom told me that), so I hope you understand that and hear from you soon.”

This one’s my favorite. I mean, who could get mad for being rejected by a passionate traveler? 

10. “Already dating someone else”

“I think you’re a really nice person but I’ll be straightforward with you: I’m already dating someone else. However, we could definitely stay in touch!

I’m just telling you this because I don’t want to jugar with you. I respect you and I think you deserve to know the truth.”

Remember to always tell the other person if you’re already dating someone else because if you don’t, you could risk experiencing some seriously awkward situations (not to mention a broken heart). 

11. “I don’t feel the same way”

“You’re a really cool guy/girl and I have enjoyed texting with you/hanging out with you but I need to tell you that I don’t feel the same way about this whole thing. 

I rather see you as my big brother/sister/friend and I think you should know that, so that we can avoid any potential awkward situations or disappointments.” 

By telling the other person that you don’t feel the same way, you are letting them know that things are not the way they seem.

Sometimes, people tend to overthink and misinterpret some clues, so it’s important to let them know how things stand.

12. “I want you to respect my feelings like I respect yours”

“Hey (someone’s name). I realize that you like me a lot because of all those grand gestures and the way you treat me is truly impressive. I respect your feelings but I need you to respect mine, too.

Pensaba que sería capaz de corresponderte, pero cuanto más tiempo he pasado contigo, más raro me he sentido con todo este asunto.

I think you’re a great person and I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I respect your feelings and I hope you’ll respect mine as well.”

El respeto mutuo es una de las cosas más poderosas cuando se trata de amistades, relaciones o citas. Buscarlo en la otra persona es una de las mejores formas de rechazar a alguien de forma amable y educada.

Cómo rechazar a alguien amablemente: 6 consejos esenciales

Porque no basta con elegir al azar una plantilla de mensaje. He aquí algunas cosas a las que debes prestar atención y que te ayudarán a rechazar a alguien en un manera educada:

1. Sé sincero contigo mismo (y con ellos)

Antes de decidirte a rechazar a alguien, te sugiero que primero te preguntes si es exactamente lo que quieres en este momento.

Hacer algo por impulso es el mayor atajo para arrepentirse, así que tienes que ser completamente sincero contigo mismo antes de decidir hacer algo al respecto.

Piensa en todos los pros y los contras de salir con ellos (o de estar con ellos en una relación). Esto te ayudará a ver el panorama completo y a averiguar qué es lo que realmente quieres. 

Escribe tus pensamientos en un papel para plasmarlos de forma tangible y que queden más claros.

If you still want to reject that someone after you’ve done all that, then keep in mind that you should be honest with them about the real reason why you don’t want to date/continue dating them or be with them. 

En otras palabras: Sólo decir la verdad pero en un bonito, manera educada.

Además, tenga en cuenta que el lo peor que podrías hacer es romper con alguien o dejar de salir con él sin ninguna razón específica, sólo para descubrir que cometiste un error.

2. Prepárate para todos los resultados posibles

La esencia de aprender a rechazar a alguien amablemente reside en la capacidad de prepararse para todos los resultados posibles. Por resultado me refiero a su reacción a tu declaración. 

No todos somos tan buenos aceptando el rechazo. Algunas personas se ofenden aunque las rechaces de la forma más negativa. manera educada possible and there’s nothing you can do about it.

So, the best thing to do is prepare yourself for such a situation and think in advance about how you’re going to react if something like that happens. 

You don’t want to lose your cool and start saying things you don’t really mean just because their reaction forces you to do so (and you don’t want to involve their friends or familiares en él).

Quiere evitar cualquier posible torpeza y quieres hacer lo de rechazar en un bonita manera. So, no matter what happens, don’t overreact or overthink. Stay polite and stick to what you really want and mean.

Además, recuerde que incluso el peor resultado sigue siendo mejor que fantasma.

3. Hazlo en persona (si puedes)

If there’s one thing I hate most about these modern times, it’s a lack of face-to-face communication; we do everything via redes sociales y los mensajes de texto.

Honestly, I am waiting for the day when being ‘in a social medios de comunicación relationship’ will become legit.

Así que, por favor, haz lo del rechazo en persona (si puedes, claro). Si no, entonces envíalo como un mensaje de texto. 

The reason why it’s better to do it face-to-face is because the other person can see your genuine facial expressions and see whether you’re being honest with them. That effect is hard to achieve via a text message.

People tend to overthink things because they can’t hear the tone of your voice and they can’t see your face and therefore they cannot know for sure whether you’re being honest with them. 

I understand that doing it in person requires more courage than doing it via text message but the effect is not the same and that’s a fact. 

4. Evitar culpar a la otra persona

If there’s one thing you should definitely avoid doing, it’s putting blame on the other person, like with something like this: I don’t want to date you because you drink/curse too much.

Este tipo de afirmación es un ataque directo a una persona y deberías evitarlo a toda costa. 

You don’t want to make the persona sentir bad about the whole thing. You want them to understand what you’re trying to say to them and how you feel about it instead of blaming them for it.

Just imagine if someone told you that they didn’t want to date you because you drink too much. You would instantly feel insulted and start thinking that it’s none of their business if you drink too much, right?

Juzgar y cotillear son dos de las cosas más tóxicas del mundo y nunca tienen un resultado positivo. 

Now imagine that someone said to you they don’t want to date you because they don’t think you’re a good match.

It’s neutral, polite and it’s really hard to get offended by a statement like that. And that’s the effect you need to achieve when rejecting someone nicely!

5. Don’t wait for a right time to do it

Entiendo que tendrá un mal rato reunir el valor para rechazarlos, pero nunca es el momento adecuado para acabar con las cosas con alguien.

Podrías pensar que si lo dejas para mañana, próxima semana or next month, things will be different. But they won’t. 

The longer you wait to do something, the more you’re ansioso about doing it (definitely speaking from experience). So, don’t wait for a right time to do it because the right time doesn’t exist.

The right time is now. You can never know what’s going on in that person’s life at the moment, so how can you know when it is the right time for them? You cannot know, right?

Así, uno de los mejores consejos de expertos es la siguiente: Esperar el momento oportuno para hacer algo sólo servirá para prolongarlo.

Y prolongarlo significa darles falsas esperanzas when they could’ve started dating someone else instead and moved on. 

Don’t wait for the right time to do it but just do it! (As Nike would say.) 

6. Don’t sugar-coat it

If you’re one hundred percent sure about rejecting them, then don’t recubrir de azúcar cosas, es decir, dándoles falsas esperanzas.

If you know that you don’t want to date them ever again, don’t make them think that you might reach out to them at some point in the near future.

Merecen que se les diga la verdad en un bonita manera. Debes evitar los juegos mentales con ellos porque, si lo haces, seguirán viviendo en una ilusión, pensando todavía que las cosas van bien.

En lugar de eso, deberías aprender a rechazar a alguien de forma amable y honesta. 

Como ya se ha dicho: La honestidad es la mejor política

Rejecting someone is one of the hardest things to do but it’s necessary for both your happiness and the other person’s. If you feel like it’s something you should do, you shouldn’t prolong it any further. 

Decirles cómo te sientes sobre todo el asunto te hará sentir mejor y será beneficioso para ambos a largo plazo. Todo el mundo merece ser feliz y, a veces, el rechazo es el primer paso para conseguirlo.

Véase también: 9 señales de que le gustas (pero tiene miedo al rechazo)