Cuándo y cómo romper con un ser querido: 10 cosas que debes y no debes hacer

Letting go of the person you love is definitely the most difficult, heartbreaking thing to do. You’re aware that you’re about to do something that will break your heart into a million pieces, but you’re also aware that it’s the right thing to do.

Ahora, la pregunta es cómo romper con alguien que amas? ¿Cómo dejar marchar a alguien a quien todavía quieres mucho? ¿Es posible terminar con una persona por la que aún sientes algo?

Yes, it’s possible but, to be honest, it’s going to be a hell of a job.

It’ll be a constant battle between your heart and your mind. Por un lado, tu corazón te dirá que sigas luchando por tu amor y, por otro, tu mente insistirá en que debes dejarlo todo.

Tus sentimientos estarán a flor de piel. Sus emociones y salud mental será un verdadero desastre. You’ll try not to hurt your partner’s feelings while you’ll be going through desamor.

So, if you’re about to sail on this kind of journey, you need to arm yourself with patience and strength because you’ll definitely need it.

How To Break Up With Someone You Love: 10 Important Dos And Don’ts

There are some things you need to do if you want to end things the right way and have a clean break with your significant other. On the other hand, there are some things you should never, but really never, do if you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings.

​I decided to make these two lists of dos and don’ts for romper con alguien you love, and I hope it’ll be helpful to you.

Cómo romper con un ser querido

Así que, si quiere que su ruptura lo menos doloroso posible tanto para ti como para tu pareja, esto es lo que tienes que hacer:

Mantén una conversación seria con tu pareja

Honesto y abierto comunicación esSin duda alguna, la parte más importante de cada relación sana. La primera vez que empieces a pensar en una ruptura, deberías compartir esos pensamientos con tu pareja.

Si lo haces a tiempo, puede que haya una oportunidad de salvar tu relación.

However, if you’ve already decided to end things, and you’re one hundred percent sure that it’s the only right thing to do, you should sit down and have a serious conversation with your SO.

Habla de todas las cosas que te llevaron a tomar esta decisión en primer lugar

Sea completamente sincero con ellos. Explíqueles todas las razones por las que decidiste poner fin a tu relación.

You can admit that you still love them, but don’t give them falsas esperanzas if you’ve already made up your mind and firmly decided to end things with them. They probably won’t understand and accept it, but try to explain that it’s really for the best.

Hágalo cara a cara

Esto es absolutamente imprescindible. Si lo hace a través de texto o llamada telefónica, it’ll only hurt them more, and you’ll show that you’re nothing but a huge coward.

Just because you’re breaking up with your partner doesn’t give you the right to treat them any less than how you treated them while you were in a romantic relationship.

Esa persona formó parte de tu vida durante algún tiempo y juntos creasteis recuerdos tan bonitos. Lo menos que puedes hacer es darle un adecuado, cara a cara adiós.

Take your partner’s feelings into consideration

If you still love your soon-to-be ex-partner, I’m sure that the last thing you want to do is break their heart. That’s why you need to break up with them in the least painful way possible.

You need to pay attention to the time and place when you tell them about your decision. However, you shouldn’t beat around the bush too much because it definitely won’t make the breakup any easier for them.

Be upfront about your decision. Be honest and admit that you still love them but that it’s not the same kind of love you felt for them at the beginning.

Sin embargo, si sigue optando por hacerlo a través de texto, puede que encuentre estos mensajes de texto de ruptura útil.

Elija una pausa limpia

Don’t offer them ‘let’s stay friends’ or ‘you’ll always have a true friend in me’ or the most cliché one of all, the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. You can only stay as those “friends” who never call to check up, and you’ll only end up hating each other for real.

Una vez que decidáis separaros, realmente tendréis que separar vuestros caminos, y cada uno de vosotros tiene que seguir el camino que elija para sí mismo.

Of course, it would be nice to promise each other that you’ll always respect and cherish the time you spent together, but that’s all. If you really want to leave it all and move on with your life as soon as possible, you should really try to make a clean break.

Major Don’ts When It Comes To Leaving Your Loved One

​Keep scrolling down if you want to find out what the biggest no-nos are when it comes to breaking up with a person you still have strong feelings for.

El ghosting está totalmente prohibido

Ghosting es lo peor que puedes hacerle a alguien que fue una gran parte de tu vida durante algún tiempo. Esto solo les demostraría que nunca les quisiste de verdad, y convertiría en odio todo el amor que sienten por ti.

I know it’s not easy to end things with someone who still means so much to you, but as much as you need to take care of your feelings, you should pay attention to your partner’s feelings too.

They will be hurt no matter how you break up with them – it’s inevitable. But, fantasma them would only show that you don’t respect them enough to give them proper closure.

Also, it would mean that you aren’t brave enough to stand behind your actions and that you don’t have the dignity to termina tu relación cara a cara.

Don’t even think about taking some time apart first

Su pareja probablemente le sugerirá tomar una ruptura de relación y reflexionar sobre tu relación antes de tomar una decisión definitiva.

However, if you accept this, it’ll only give them false hope. They will start thinking that you aren’t completely sure about your decision and that there is still hope para salvar tu relación o empezar de nuevo.

I think this wouldn’t be fair to do to a person you love, right? So, if your SO suggests a relationship break, you should gently reject their offer and explain that your decision is final and that you don’t plan to change it, no matter what.

Don’t break up in a public place

The first reason why you shouldn’t do it in a public place is that it might make the situation even worse for your partner.

They might think that you were afraid to do it in private and that you’re using those people around you to make the breakup as fast as possible.

I know it would be nice to avoid creating a scene in front of other people, but I’m sure your partner would like for you to do it while you two are alone. You don’t know what their reaction will be, but you must be ready to handle it the best way possible.

Ruptura en privado y hacerlo cara a cara también les demostrará que sigues respetándoles y preocupándote por ellos y por sus sentimientos.

Don’t give them false hope

Ya lo he mencionado antes, pero tengo que volver a insistir en ello. Una vez que tomes la decisión de separarte, tienes que atenerte a ella y hacer frente a todo lo que venga después.

If you’re interested in dar otra oportunidad a su relación, then you should suggest a relationship break. You shouldn’t tell them that you’re ending things for good with them.

Don’t even think about breakup sex

As crazy as it sounds, most couples practice breakup sex nowadays. I don’t know if it’s because they want to have fun one last time (right before etapas de la ruptura kick in) or because they think it’ll make them change their mind, but, in my opinion, it’s absolutely freaking crazy.

Así que.., sexo de ruptura está fuera de la mesa. It can only confuse you and make you think that you’ve made a hasty decision and that you should try para solucionar las cosas en lugar de romper.

I don’t care if your partner is a model or they’re begging you on their knees to do it one last time; you have to hold your horses and control your desires.

¿Cómo saber cuándo romper con un ser querido? 10 señales de alarma

I know it’s difficult to make the decision romper con alguien a quien todavía quieres, pero a veces, por desgracia, es necesario hacerlo para preservar tu salud emocional y mental.

There are a few red flags that it’s time to termina tu relación, and I have listed the major ones below. So, keep reading…

You’ve tried couple’s therapy, but…

It didn’t work. No matter how much you try and try… No matter how much effort you’re putting into arreglar su relación, things just don’t get better.

You’ve tried many different couple’s therapies, and you’ve followed all the relationship expert advice you get, but nothing has helped to make your relationship better.

Then, you know what you have to do… You need to prevent your relationship from draining you. Sálvate a ti mismo y déjalo en tu pasado de una vez por todas y pasa página.

Sigues rompiendo y volviendo

If you two are stuck in the awful cycle of breaking up and getting back together, it’s obvious that you still share strong feelings for each other that won’t allow you to separate forever.

Sin embargo, también debe saber que el amor nunca es suficiente para que una relación funcione.

Sooner or later, you’ll understand that it doesn’t lead anywhere. You’ll realize that you will never be able to maintain una relación sana, and it’ll make you break up once again. But this time, it’ll be for real and for good.

You’re the one making all the effort

Una relación es y debe ser siempre una calle de doble sentido. The respect, your feelings, and all the effort you’re putting into making your relationship work must be reciprocated.

If that’s not the case, if you feel that you’re the only one who is trying to maintain the relationship, it’s a clear sign that the other side doesn’t love you de la misma manera que tú los amas.

One day, you’ll get tired of it all, and you’ll make a definite and final decision. You’ll marcharse, and you’ll never even want to look back.

Ya no hay confianza ni respeto en tu relación

Supongo que todos conocemos el base fundamental de toda relación sana. La confianza y el respeto son esa base.

If you feel that you’re being disrespected or that you can’t trust your partner anymore, it’s a very clear red flag that you need to alejarse de esa relación.

Your loved ones aren’t supportive of your relationship

“If nobody in the community supports your relationship, that’s a red flag,“ dice la experta en relaciones Lindsay Chrisler, de Nueva York.

Of course, this doesn’t have to be a definite sign that you should end things with your romantic partner, but I’m sure there is a good reason why those close to you don’t support your relationship.

It’s probably because they think your partner doesn’t deserve you. El hecho es que su seres queridos sólo quieren lo mejor para ti, y sin duda debes tener en cuenta su opinión sobre tu relación.

There’s a rift between you

La gente cambia. Feelings fade away… You start growing apart from your partner without even being aware of it.

One day, you just wake up and realize that nothing is the way it used to be. You know that your partner isn’t making you happy like they did before.

You realize that your relationship isn’t as close as it was before. And no matter how much you try, it just seems that it’s impossible para volver a conectar y vuelve a crecer junto a tu SO.

Drifting apart is one of the clearest signs that you should rethink your relationship and decide whether you should continue dating a person you don’t feel all that close to anymore.

You’re experiencing any form of abuse

Por mucho que quieras a alguien, nunca debes soportar que te falten al respeto o que te comportamiento abusivo. Recuerda, una persona que te ama de verdad nunca te haría daño continuamente y a propósito.

You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to anyone because you’re the only one who is truly important. Pon un enorme punto final en tu relación abusiva y cerrar ese capítulo de tu vida para siempre.

Las peleas se han convertido en una parte normal de su relación

Para que quede claro, todas las parejas se pelean. Pequeños desacuerdos de vez en cuando son una parte completamente normal de una relación sana.

However, once those ‘occasional fights’ become ‘contact fights,’ it’s really time to walk away from your relationship. Otherwise, it’ll only result in making your relationship toxic and ruining your mental health.

Por otra parte, la pasión lo ha dejado hace mucho tiempo

Cuando la chispa abandone tu relación, ten por seguro que el amor le seguirá. Por supuesto, la chispa nunca será tan fuerte como cuando empezasteis a salir, pero tampoco debería desaparecer por completo.

Mi mejor amiga terminó su relación hace poco. ¿Y sabes lo que me dijo cuando le pregunté qué había pasado? Realmente tengo que citarla porque esa frase se me quedó muy grabada.

Dijo, “Trust and passion left the relationship many moons ago. Now it’s time I left it too.”

You’re thinking about the breakup all the time

If you’re constantly thinking about ending your relationship, it’s probably because you have more than one reason to do so.

You aren’t happy in that relationship, and you see breaking up as your only salvation. And you know what? You have every right to do so. You have every right to let go of anything that doesn’t make you happy.

La vida es demasiado corta to waste your precious time on the wrong people and things that can’t make you happy.

Cómo superar una ruptura con un ser querido: 10 pasos importantes

So, if you’re interested in this part, I assume you have already finished with the breakup conversation.

Cuando un relación romántica comes to an end, one side will always end up hurt, and, unfortunately, it’s inevitable.

Si todavía tiene sentimientos románticos intensos por su ex pareja, it’s perfectly normal that you’ll suffer después del ruptura. However, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to recover from it and move on with your life.

Duelo y curación tras un ruptura is a long and exhausting process. But, unfortunately, you have to go through that process if you want to move on. I’ve prepared a few pieces of relationship expert advice for you below that will help you get through it all a bit faster.

Date tiempo para descansar

Now you’ve got time to do all the things you wanted to do before, but the only thing you should do right now is take a very deep breath and relax.

Date tiempo. Take a rest. Let both your mind and heart take a rest from everything and everyone else. It’s something that you owe yourself. Have some alone time and don’t think about your relationship, your ex-partner, or etapas de la ruptura en absoluto.

Just try to relax and imagine that you’re the only person left in the world. Because the truth is, no one else actually matters besides you.

Cortar el contacto tras la ruptura

I suppose you’ve heard of the famous norma de no contacto after the breakup. Now, you need to put that rule into practice immediately after you’ve finished with the breakup conversation.

So, this means no texts or phone calls to your ex-romantic partner. You really need to cut off communication after you’ve decided to end things.

Más expertos en relaciones están de acuerdo en que la regla del no contacto es la ÚNICA forma eficaz de superar un ruptura y seguir adelante con tu vida.

Los mejores amigos son siempre la mejor terapia

If you’re feeling con el corazón roto, I know a cure that will definitely help you feel better. That incredible cure is called ‘mejores amigos.’

They are the people who love you the most and who will do just about anything to make you feel better. They’ll help you collect and glue each and every part of your broken heart back together, and they’ll stand right beside you at every step of your grieving and healing process.

Mantente alejado de las redes sociales durante un tiempo

Lo mejor para usted sería tomar una pequeña desintoxicación de las redes sociales. It’s just so you don’t check if your ex is online or what they are sharing all the time.

Busca otra cosa que te mantenga ocupado. Lee libros, tu horóscopo o intenta aprender una habilidad útil, un nuevo idioma, por ejemplo. Si sigues espiando a tu ex en redes sociales, it’ll be an enormous dealbreaker para tu proceso de curación y superación.

Acepte su situación

Your situation isn’t actually that good and clear, right? So, what? There are so many people in a similar or even the same situation as you are.

Suck it up. You’ve made the decision, and now all you can do is stand behind it. Acéptalo todo como una enorme lección que tu vida intenta enseñarte.

Acepta y abraza tus sentimientos

Don’t ever fight your feelings. Of course, I get you. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you need to dejar ir a alguien you’re still deeply in love with.

Pero lo cierto es que algunas personas ocuparán siempre un lugar en nuestros corazones, y no puedes hacer absolutamente nada para cambiarlo. Solo puedes aceptarlo y esperar que el tiempo esté de tu lado y haga que esos sentimientos se desvanezcan.

Lo último que debes hacer ahora es reprimir tus sentimientos. Puede afectar a tu salud mental de la peor manera posible.

Confíe en un familiar

After you decide to part ways with your significant other, the only thing you shouldn’t do is shut yourself off from your loved ones.

I know you’re riding on a real emotional rollercoaster, but, trust me, you’ll feel much better if you share your sorrows with someone else.

Open up to someone you trust the most, whether it’s your best friend or a family member. Who knows, they may even give you some good advice and help you get over it all faster.

Don’t jump into a new relationship

When you’re in el periodo sin contacto after the breakup, it’s a huge no-no for you to start dating other people.

You’re currently in a period of your life where you need to put all your focus and attention on yourself.

You’re in a period of your life when it’s high time to enamórate de ti mismo y empieza a salir con esa persona increíble que ves en tu espejo cada mañana.

You may think that dating other people will help you forget about your ex-partner faster, but the fact is that it’s such tomfoolery. You can’t fall in love with someone else as long as your ex is still firmly settled in your heart.

Date un capricho

En pocas palabras, ha llegado el momento de que te concentres en ti mismo. Tienes que mimarte al máximo porque te lo mereces.

Do things you always wanted but didn’t have the opportunity to do before. Take a wellness day. Fill up the online shopping cart and buy yourself everything you want. Un poco de terapia de compras nunca ha matado a nadie, ¿verdad?

Cree en el poder del tiempo

Confía en mí, el tiempo cura. It has no magical power to make your feelings for someone disappear, but it’ll definitely help you recover from your emotional wounds.

The first time you give yourself time to grieve and heal in peace, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Don’t put the “I’m okay, I’ve moved on” mask on because by doing that, you’ll only be reprimir tus sentimientos.

Tienes que ser lo bastante fuerte como para aceptar todas tus emociones, las positivas pero también las negativas. De lo contrario, ten por seguro que tarde o temprano todos esos sentimientos reprimidos saldrán a la superficie y causarán un daño aún mayor.

Para concluir

También quiero advertirte de una última cosa. El amor es a very complex emotion. It’s one that can never be controlled.

There is no switch when it comes to love. You can’t turn your emotions on or off how and when you want. Así que, incluso después de acabar con las cosas with the person you truly love, it doesn’t mean that the love you feel for them will disappear overnight.

You’ll need time. A lot of time, actually. To suffer, to recover, to heal, para seguir adelante… You’ll need time to get your life back on track.

However, the most important thing is to think about your own well-being. If you think you deserve more than your soon-to-be ex-partner is giving you, no matter how painful it’ll be, you need to romper con ellos y haz que formen parte de tu pasado.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should completely neglect your partner’s feelings. I’m sure that breaking their heart is the last thing you want to do.

Esta eficaz guía sobre cómo romper con un ser querido te ayudará a terminar con tu pareja de la forma menos dolorosa posible para ambos.

It’s nice to take care of other people’s feelings, but remember, you should always be your primary focus and biggest priority in life.

Nothing in this life is worth it if you aren’t happy… Not even such a beautiful emotion like love.