5 cosas que hacer cuando una falsa esperanza te mantiene en una relación abusiva

Todos queremos ver lo mejor de nuestra pareja, sea cual sea la situación real.

Even when it’s at our own expense, we tend to ignore those little things that we know are así que equivocados debido a nuestra falsa esperanza que es básicamente lo único que nos hace pasar nuestra relación tóxica.

Getting out of an abusive relationship is always a difficult thing—be it physical or emotional abuse.

Saying ‘no’ to your partner and leaving him once and for all sounds easy enough, but in reality, it’s an extremely tough situation to be in.

Vivimos en una sociedad que impone todo tipo de estigmas y limitaciones a las personas por diversas razones.

For example, if you are a woman in your late twenties, you are (silently) judged if you’re not yet married—o al menos vas camino de ello.

If you don’t have a boyfriend by that age, there must be something wrong with you—or at least that’s what you’re made to believe—y te sientes juzgado y menospreciado.

All those things (and many more!) are what’s doing us all a huge disservice because due to those stigmas, we choose to stay in unhealthy relationships that are toxic for us and are arruinando nuestra salud mental.

We’d rather silently suffer and pretend everything is peachy on the outside, than stay single and happy until the right man comes along—one that’s not going to be abusive, toxic, and make us feel like crap.

Y debido a esos desafortunados problemas, las mujeres de todo el mundo sufren en silencio.

Dejan que los hombres gobiernen sus mundos disminuyendo poco a poco su autopercepción y haciéndolas sentir equivocadas por querer que se escuche su voz.

I want you to remember that it really doesn’t have to be that way. You puede encuentra la salida. No es tu jefe, ¡y tienes que demostrárselo!

Hay muchas cosas que puedes hacer cuando dejas que tu falso sentido de la esperanza te mantenga en una relación abusiva, ¡y aquí hay 5 cosas que seguramente te ayudarán a encontrar la salida para siempre!

Recurre a tus seres más queridos (¡que te ayuden!)

Your partner may have painted a perfect picture of himself to your family and friends, but YOU are the one they love, and you are the one they are going to believe, so don’t shy away from telling them the truth.

Explícales lo destruido emocionalmente que te sientes y de qué manera ha contribuido tu pareja a ello.

Let them in, and don’t fear being vulnerable.

Son tu lugar seguro y una vez que empiecen a verle como realmente es y lo miserable y rota que estás, van a ser el mejor sistema de apoyo mientras te ayudan a deshacerte de él de una vez por todas.

Start saying ‘no’ to his insane demands and refuse to obey him

He needs to see that you are not his puppet—not anymore. Be calm, sure of yourself, and don’t let him get to you.

La próxima vez que te exija una locura, recházala.

Don’t raise your voice, and don’t be spiteful. Just say that you do not agree with what he’s asking of you, and you will not be doing that thing.

Una vez que vea que estás aprendiendo a enfrentarte a él, empezará a asustarse poco a poco, y a ver que el control que tiene sobre ti se está agotando.  

He is not going to like this, and with time, it’s going to become easier for you to get out because an pareja abusiva se alimenta de sumisión, lo que ya no es tu caso.

Si te amenaza con ponerte las manos encima, llama a la policía y hazle ver lo seria que eres.

Si empieza a amenazarte con tocarte o hacerte daño de alguna manera, coge el teléfono y empieza a marcar.

Demuéstrale lo seria que eres y eso hará que se le pase la locura.

Fear is the most effective motivator, and once he sees you’re not messing around and you’re no longer going to put up with his craziness, he’s going to ease up and back down.

But in case he doesn’t, leave immediately and call for help.

Graba en secreto sus arrebatos y guarda este registro en un lugar seguro para cuando necesites pruebas de que está siendo maltratado.

Keep a hidden phone somewhere and press ‘record’ when you feel he’s being triggered in order to have it all on video.

You can also or keep the phone in your pocket while it’s recording so that you can have a recording of him verbally abusing you.

This is going to come in handy should you decide to go to the police, as this is proof of him being abusive, and you’re easily going to at least get a restraining order—if nothing else.

Also, you having actual proof of what he’s like when he’s gone mad is going to make him scared you’ll show it to people, so it might make him let you go peacefully.

Go to a family member’s place, and cut off all contact with him

Stay at your sister’s for as long as you need, and have two or more people collect your things if you share a place with your partner.

As long as you keep him outnumbered, it’s going to be fine.

Make him see you’re really done with him and his bullshit, and don’t respond to any of his calls and texts.

Vive tu vida, mantente rodeado de tus allegados y aléjate de los lugares donde puedas toparte con él.

Intenta estar siempre acompañada de un ser querido, y empieza a rehacer tu vida borrándole poco a poco de tu mente.

Sooner or later, he’s going to get tired of calling and harrassing you, and finally let you be happy and at peace surrounded by those who love you.